Money Moral Dilemma: Should I borrow to help my husband pay off his debt?

Rd1994

Do not help him. He is 100% hiding something - people don’t just get into 20k dept without realising what they are doing. Be careful - confront him and be strong. I would not pay it off for him it will only happen again. 

gloriouslyhappy

It's one thing to be careless and irresponsible with money and debt, but it's entirely another thing to be secretive and evasive about it. The LAST thing you should do is take on debt in your own name to help him to clear his, because it really could just be a case of throwing good money after bad.

This ^ Do not enable him - help him with advice and attending Citizens Advice debt management appointments with him, but DO NOT take on his debt, and DO NOT take out loans or credit cards in your joint names - you'll be stuck with the debt.

TheRedHerring

Absolutely not, it is easy to be generous when it is with someone else's money!  The very fact that he is not prepared to discuss issues indicates he is not prepared to negotiate and possibly has a controlling personality.   You are going to need to be strong or possibly seek a marriage councillor.  Finally, I know someone who paid of her boyfriend's debt just before they got married and said it would be the last time: it was not.  She is still working in her mid 70's.

colinslyne

It’s not much of a relationship/ marriage, if you don’t know how your husband accrued £20000 of debt! You have no relationship!!!

SStitanic

No & next time he walks out change the locks.

Poorexgirlfriend192

I agree with the general consensus from the other forum answers, do not go into debt because of him and do not put your house at risk either. Get him to cut up all his credit cards and get debt advice from charities such as StepChange. He should be seeking help on this matter if he values you and your marriage.

Timetofly

You set out your boundaries, so please stick to them. He knew the score and if you bail him out, you will be encouraging him to get in debt. His debt, his problem. No wonder he doesn’t like confrontation. If you aren’t questioning the longevity of your relationship, perhaps you ought to think about it.

2702

No. I have been in similar situation. Get out now now now and run run run.You will probably lose money but worth it to get out of this mess.It can only get worse. Pay this off and be prepared to pay off debts forever. Sorry but it is the truth.
No no no

Shell1989

No. Do not compromise your secure financial position for his comfort. He got in to debt without you (you’re not even clear on how), so he can get out of it without you too. Also, if walking out on you is his answer to confrontation, it doesn’t sound like a very secure marriage, even more reason not to pay his debts.

Matt8888

When you married this became YOUR (plural) debt so, you should. However, I am not totally naive. But don't be married if you are not prepared to help. What if you became seriously ill or lost everything or whatever? Sadly, it does happen. Would you expect him to walk out and say he didn't sign up to that when you were married, and it's a problem he could do without and does not want to share?