Money Moral Dilemma: I loaned my friend £1,000 and she isn't paying it back - what should I do?

primrose_penguin

Sadly lending money to people, especially friends is not a good idea as it can completely ruin a good relationship when things like this happen. Your friend, if you can call her that, knew your condition and should never have asked you for this large loan, she sounds a selfish manipulative individual. What did she want £1,000 for?? as others have said her husband probably knows nothing about it and I agree you should tell him. If she is borrowing off you she is could be doing the same to her other so called friends, and if she cannot repay everyone her husband may end up being responsible for her mounting debts. Regarding what she owes you, can your daughter speak to citizens advice bureau for some advice or perhaps call on this friend and have a word with her, if not I also think it is not worth putting yourself through any more anguish and it will not help your condition. You need genuine friends with you at this time and I am afraid she is not one of them, how she could just give you £50 then not bother to contact you or give you further payments is beyond my understanding and I would not want her in my circle of friends, (even if she starts to repay you monthly), you deserve better. I wish you peace and happiness in your life with those who really care about you. Good luck.

webbs3

If said “friend” knows of your health condition & is not going out of their way to pay you back now swiftly by exploring other methods, they are not a ‘friend’. If you have proof of the loan use the simple method of taking them to the ‘Small Claims Court’. You have nothing to loose it would at the least send a message to this person that you no longer want anything to do with them & should be ashamed. Karma always catches up with these types at some point. 🙏

TerryMSE

I would go and have a chat with her and take your Daughter along, explain that your Daughter is buying her dept and she now has to pay your daughter back the £1000 loan at £20 per week as she agreed she can pay.
At least this way the money comes back to your family and this scum bag or a financial abuser does not get away with it.
She obviously thinks by offering these small payments that she is going to get out of paying it all back, but by passing the loan over to your daughter she is going to need to pay the full amount back.
And arrange the chat when her Husband is present, he needs to know what she is doing to people, you should also let other know in your circle, this women is very clever and knows how to pick a victim.
Protect others from falling for the same trap.

Silverbullet036

If it were me I would tell them to use it for the dentists bill they are about to have.

mouse477

My Dad taught me all I know about money and, at 78 years old, I am grateful that I had his teaching. One thing he told me and it has stayed with me over the years. He said; "Never lend to others, if you can't afford to have it repaid". That probably doesn't answer your question, but it has saved several of my friendships over the years. I've lent money and never seen a penny back, but I still love the humans that I lent to. I've never asked for repayment and they have never asked for any more 'loans'. They have to live with their guilt, but that's not my problem. And I am grateful that I've not had need to ask for any repayment. 

lb364

This happened to my husband sadly. He got seriously ill after lending a ‘friend’ money and he stopped paying him back. I said the same to him: forget about it as all it’s going to do is cause YOU stress and ruin the time YOU have left. The sort of person that does this won’t care and are not worth the worry. I would tell her husband/any mutual acquaintances before cutting off all contact though because she’ll do it again.

Ed264

I would say your daughter is correct here. Given your health condition, write it off, forget about it and don't lend your friend another penny. Don't bother telling her husband, that will just stir up more trouble, which you really can do without.

MarkyMark1064

Write the money off.

Write the "friendship" off.

Advise the husband.

I rarely if ever contribute to this page, and if I said what I really think I would likely be swiftly banned, let's just say that this woman knowing your situation and then doing what she has done is a disgrace.

In closing, I am sorry to read about your deteriorating health, may I wish you as much joy and happiness as you can manage in what time you have left, go well.

Willieathere

Give her both barrels. She knows your situation and has shown herself not to be such a good friend. Tel her that you are going to tell her husband if she does not respond within a couple of days. Perhaps tell her it’s not about the money but about the fact that she has chosen to be an unfaithful friend whom you thought you could trust. 

Lubiloo

Tell her husband!