NST AUGUST 2024

laura_lau

@grandmanerd hope the meeting went well and you finally found an agreement suitable for you and the time and money you spent to sort everything until now!

I had a very good weekend, and it was tough to start work again today. I really looking forward to the long weekend ahead! This week I have to go to the office twice, so it will be more expensive and more tiring, but at least there's the long weekend at the end of it. 

On saturday I went to a garden party with some friends I met at the Book and Crochet clubs (and line dancing) and it was lots of fun. We took out some board and party games and it was good to laugh and relax for an afternoon and evening. It was a bit stressful on my part to get to it as I had offered to make focaccia and tiramisu, but one of the girls is coeliac so I also made a gluten free focaccia and tiramisu with gluten free biscuits. Apart from the fact that I didn't expect those gluten free products to be so expensive (I feel so sorry for the people who suffer from it, it feels very unfair that on top of having a condition that can make them severely unwell, they also have to spend so much more than us to have the food that doesn't make them unwell!), they are also rather difficult to work with. The gluten free flour is really weird, it becomes very watery when you add water to it, and then the focaccia (although it tasted ok) didn't rise much (which I expected, but it was still ok) but it became very hard fairly quickly after it cooled down!
I also had to whip the cream 4 times in total, because of various mishaps, and doing so I filled the kitchen (and myself) with cream. While trying to prepare all this I also had to bring the dog to the park, as she would be home alone for the whole afternoon and most of the evening, so she could run and be happy and tired, and she decided to roll into fox p** so I had to give her an emergency bath as soon as we got home and before I could start all my dessert making mishaps.

I arrived at the party a bit late but as much as I thought, and had a great day, apart from when I bumped against a camping chair (I barely touched it, but it was enough) which had a tray holding 3 full glasses of beverages, spilling half of the contents on someone else's phone, and the other half on my pretty dress, which was on its first outing this year because of the miserable early Summer weather.

Yesterday I had an easy day, spending most of it cleaning the battlefield in the kitchen, but I found it almost mindful, as I did so while catching up on some of my favourite podcasts.

I am grateful for having found this new group of friends and for having been able to enjoy a bit of Summer on Saturday. Also, I am grateful that the normal flour focaccia came out really great on the first attempt!

lcc86

@laura_lau I always think it's unfair that anybody with dietary requirements (for whatever reason) seems to have to pay more...

Today was my non working day. Had a lie in for the first time in ages, and had no back pain when I woke up (hallelujah!). Cleaned my aquariums then went to the gym to do another little workout and my physio exercises. 

Came home, hoovered, including a little hoover and dust inside the car. Did a meter reading as our tariff is changing soon, then did an online shop ready to be delivered later this week.

DawnW

Back from my son's wedding, which was a whole weekend affair and some distance away. While it was lovely to see them married I am pleased to be home and in urgent need of an early night. I found the social aspects a bit difficult, I guess at least partly because of the recent illness, death and funeral of my brother. Anyway, all done now, and looking forward to getting back to normal, whatever that is!

I picked a big bowlful of tomatoes, a smaller one of beans and a very small one of raspberries, so I will need to think about dealing with some of those tomorrow. Also picked up some windfall apples that can become a pie

I have unpacked my clothes, and the food we brought back (self catering accommodation apart from the wedding events), watered what needed it in the garden, though it is raining now, and made scrambled eggs on toast for dinner. We didn't need anything else. I shall cook a 'proper' meal tomorrow though.

@mothernerd I hope you get the issues of your grandmother's house sorted out, one way or another and can soon put this saga behind you 

Thrifty_Taylor

Thanks for your good vibes @beanielou & @Shrewbie. Training today went ok, tomorrow the children will return! Apparently our new starts are going to on the news, as it's a large class of all boys, no girls this year!

Did some cleaning when I got home, then unpicked s zip. Took DS1 to the garage to empty out his broken car, then did the sewing job. 

NSD#9

Grateful for chocolate to help me through the training, DS1 getting me a zip in town & your good vibes

grandmanerd

Well yesterday was both better and worse than it could have been. The charity collectors phoned just after 9 am to say they'd be there before 1 pm, which wasn't terribly useful but meant I had time to do more tidying and clearing. I cleaned the outside of the fridge-freezer, wiped the book shelves. As DS3 had pulled his exercise bike away out of the corner in front of the electric meter and deal with all the stuff that had gathered (there was a large box in there and anything that falls off the arm of the sofa - especially when DS3 stretches out - falls into the very tight space. Layers and layers of stuff and then the box held about 20 cans of pulses, some jeans and black material belonging to DS3, 2 throws and at the very bottom a library book that went missing about a year ago.

To save time I just threw empty boxes out into the yard to be dealt with later and used the cleared space in front of the electric meter to hold cans of paint, cleaning supplies and more recent purchase (and things for the 'new home') which were on and around the smaller set of shelves that were going. Rubbish bags went in the yard too - one part filled bin bag that came down with me for filling and several take away bags stuffed with anything I could find. I retrieved the voile curtains and tension rod that fell down behind the sofa months ago and which I hadn't been able to access since.

The men came. They were lovely and didn't mind the mess but they couldn't take the fridge-freezer because it was missing the pull down flap at the top section of the freezer, the exercise bike because it was missing the battery operated monitor (had to wake DS3 up over that one) and the black shelves because the side is moving slightly away from the shelf at the top. It was like that when DS2 gave it to me and hasn't changed since then. I'd have needed another hour to dig out the drop leaf table in the kitchen so that's also staying for now (but probably going under the stairs as 'pantry'). They will happily come back for the bike if we find the monitor.

When they'd gone I took back the 'missing' library book which they'd deleted from their system and one I'd just finished reading and then stopped to eat. When I got back to the house DS3 was busily rearranging the couch - hanging up the clothes I'd moved from behind the door and moving things I'd surrounded myself with. I came back upstairs to get all my Estate paperwork in order (lots of resting and reading in between) and around 3.30 pm I took another 2 bags of books to one of the cs in the mall and got paperwork photocopied. Separated that whilst eating a sandwich then called a taxi for me and DS3. We gathered all the equipment (mainly gardening and cleaning stuff) and the cs bits I'd taken and moved them next to the front door.

Despite DS2 saying he'd get there 'asap', we were all there before my brother and niece arrived. DS1 and DS2 told me to avoid rehashing what has happened as we need to move forward from where we are now (especially if I want to still be talking to my brother in a year's time). I asked DS3 to sit next to me so I could hold his hand - I experienced several shaking episodes (might need to check whether it's more than a medicine side effect). My cousin phoned whilst we were waiting - she thought the meeting would have been earlier and was calling to see how it went. I mustn't have told her that my niece currently lives 6 doors away from 'grandma's house' and was incensed that she's not done a tap whilst I've been taking taxis to get there and back to do work on the house.

Brother and niece eventually arrived. DS1 and DS2 pushed for us to have an independent (surveyors) valuation rather than relying on EAs who have a vested interest. Brother and niece are heavily invested in changing the narrative - the initial 'low' valuation was my fault for having it valued when it was 'full of carp'. Niece was 'shocked' that I'd had them done (because I was asked to do so). They elaborated on what the EA said last time (clearing, thorough cleaning, complete redecoration and new flooring) which I pointed out was what one of the initial EA said back in February and which they had rejected outright.

Anyhow the house will be valued independently and I can then decide if I want to but my brother out. Niece thinks I should buy a ground floor flat and brother suggested a static camper van so they obviously both want to put me in a box. I ignored most of the implied and overt insults. DS1 sat next to my brother and DS2 next to my niece to correct their misinterpretations (over and over again). 

After the first 5 attempts (my niece continued to chat over me) we got round to discussing the accounts. First the money from the Estate which I have paid to my brother. When we met at the beginning of July there was a difference of £500 between what we had recorded. This was because receipt number 2 (which was missing for a while - the old files I was reusing broke and all my carefully labelled paperwork cascaded over the floor). Not wishing to claim that I had paid him more than I had (prudence) I'd (under)estimated the value of the first two receipts and because of all the new expenses (bills on grandma's house) he has been paid more than he was entitled to.

My brother and niece do not understand accounts but there was definitely some deliberate obtuseness mixed in. My niece said that I had changed what I said. DS2 patiently went over and over it. What was previously said didn't matter because I had now my original receipts and he had been paid X thousand pounds (and signed for it). She then suggested that I had mixed in some of the amounts I'd paid as his half of the rental income (no the receipts for that were listed separately and the receipts were in a different plastic pocket). 

I told her that these were the accounts (I wish they were the final accounts but there will still be a few more transactions). She waved some pieces of paper at me and said 'so are these not proper accounts'. She was holding page 1 which I'd already said was unchanged. Page 2 was mainly the things we discussed in July of last year (6 hours of it) and page 3 was the more recent receipts which we discussed 7 weeks ago. That meeting was called at short notice so I'd written a list of things I'd paid out (mainly bills, waste wizards and the gardeners and taxis for me to do work and meet EAs and workmen). These have now been written up in proper account format and details added from my online diaries (and then I have to keep them for 20 years).

My brother continued to pick out individual items 'why did one say Scottish?'. DS1 pointed out that several receipts said Scot Power and that there was a limited amount of space in the column. He then queried another item and I explained that it was for the gardeners. Well why didn't I just put gardeners? DS1 explained that the accounts and the receipt formats had to match and this was the name they had decided to call their business.

I had made one correction to an entry and one bill to pay (I'd had a text notification but the paper bill only arrived yesterday morning). Niece wondered if these should be added to the accounts or the accounts be altered. DS1 shuddered and said that no, they would be entered on a fourth sheet. I said I was not rewriting these accounts (some have been hand copied more than once). So the accounts are agreed (I should have made them sign off on them). Niece did say something about taxis but DS3 interjected to say about us dismantling and bringing down beds and mattresses and putting them out the night before the Council bulky waste collection. I said we'd come back home with filled taxis every time we'd been.

So brother finally gave me the nearly £1500 he owed me and my niece has been charged sorting out empty house insurance (which she was supposed to do 7 weeks ago - apparently she didn't bother because I didn't 'seem fussed' ie I didn't add it to my to do list) and with contacting the surveyor and babysitting him. DS2 made everyone sign his notes on what had been decided. I have said I will not pay half of the latest valuation for my brother's share. My niece made 2 further attempts to get me to reveal what my highest price might be and I said we'd wait for the surveyors report (because any maximum would immediately become the price).

I asked DS2 if we would fit in his car and he and DS3 started to load my bags. Brother asked why had I brought so many bags and I replied it was all the stuff I'd brought to do work on the house (I started listing tree saw, loppers, secateurs, pruning saw, rubble bags until his eyes glazed over) and some items that could go to the cs (not the glasses I'd asked him to take out of a cupboard last time because niece and her bf had put them back in the cupboard. DS1 wisely opted for his own taxi to take him straight home. 

When I got to the car I couldn't see DS3 as he had bags surrounding him and on his lap (it's hard to lose a 6'7" man in a small car). Brother and niece were going to load 2 sets of shelves into his camper van and will come back at weekend for the 2 sets of drawers he wants (again something they were supposed to do 7 weeks ago) so another 4 items gone.

I had packed a bag for DS2 with my mum's wedding album, a letter about his pension with a previous employer, the cars I wanted to give the baby for her birthday (but they were smaller than I expected), a round tray and three pots of pulses so she can dig with the digger and smooth with the roller (I'd asked if she had sand) and three chunky trucks (toddler hand size). They are plastic (the construction vehicles are wood) but reasonable quality, not the brittle plastic that disintegrates into a thousand shards.

DS2 related a funny grand-daughter story. She went through a 'biting' phase and still does it sometimes but usually fairly playfully. He was changing her nappy and she took a mouthful of his sweatshirt. He remonstrated XOXO and she rolled her eyes and said 'No biting XOXO' in a resigned 'grumpy boring old dad voice'. I've promised to see DS1 and DS2 soon for something fun.

I was wiped out when I got in (I'd been in pain for at least the last hour). DS3 was ordering food for himself and Beloved and I asked if he could get something for me and he let me get to bed and brought my food up when it arrived. I fell asleep in my dress and have slept well. I'm going to follow some of my own advice and 'let go' of a lot of this anger and frustration - it's hurting me and I don't need it in my life.

Thank you all so much for all your good wishes

beanielou

You know @grandmanerd there is something so toxic about families & monies. I am eternally grateful for being an only child and having an only child after reading your continued struggles with the estate & your brother & niece. Stay strong & hopefully things will start to come together. 

grandmanerd

A few small wins and a laugh. DS3 was begging me not to make him an executor when I die.

The bank has credited me with money for my first 2 fraud incidents (same retailer) and is allowing me to keep the temporary credits they gave me at the start of their investigation.

One day last week I cut all my toenails in one session (this is really something, so all of you who can still cut your toenails easily rather than adopting several really awkward yoga poses on different days, give thanks).

I met an old family friend yesterday so had a good chat and a couple of hugs

I found a £2 coin on the pavement today. This may very well be my own £2 and it fell out when I was searching my bag for my key but I don't care.

I took my sack of cans downstairs, it wasn't very full but that bin is being collected in the morning so I'll get them out. I put the washing machine on and then sat in the yard cutting up cardboard boxes (8 + some card and paper packaging). Then gathered up the rubbish bags, 2 pieces of polystyrene, 2 pizza boxes and all the packaging tape I'd pulled off the boxes.

My cousin phoned back so we've had a chat and then my battery went so I've come back upstairs, put it on charge and am going to read and eat chocolate biscuits. I'm not sleepy tired but sort of weary tired. My body isn't actively hurting (or at least I can ignore the twinges) but it definitely doesn't want to do much. I've brought a part roll of bin bags upstairs and I've found another 5 carrier bags so will fill those in bits and rest and read in between.

Crazycatlady2

Sorry to hear of the family causing trouble @grandmanerd. We seem to have stopped hearing from my evil SIL which is good and we can get on with what's needed as we are already exhausted and still so much to do 

abundant1972

Good afternoon 🌞

Glad you had your family meeting grandmanerd and made some progress. One day soon this will all be behind you!

After a manic Saturday spent with my Mum and Dad, and running round - it totally wiped me out for Sunday and most of yesterday... Totally flat mood and zero motivation to do anything. I am getting used to these blips and know when to expect them - and I just ride them out. 

Managed to get out yesterday to post some birthday cards, but I was shattered so had a quiet day at home. 

Today I managed to get back on track with my budget and get myself outside and do some exercise. My apartment is tidy, and so I can have a nice chilled evening. I feel better for all that at least. 

Today I am grateful for: 

1) Lovely weather
2) My gym 
3) Still being on track with my budget this month. 

Sunday = NSD number 10
Monday = spend day
Today = NSD number 11 

Current Moon Phase : Full Moon 🌕 - things come to fruition. The Moon's energy reaches its climax. If things haven't manifested as planned - let go and release what hasn't worked. It can be worked on again next New to Full Moon cycle. This is a good time to release old hurts and offer forgiveness - even if you feel people don't deserve it - it can lighten the soul. 

Have a lovely day everyone!

lcc86

Evening turtles

Woke at about 4.30 this morning with a banging headache, got up and had some paracetamol, then managed to sleep through my alarm. As a result I didn't have time to make breakfast and I also forgot to bring my water bottle so had to buy both at work. No other spends today.

Got my contract through for my new job finally, things are all coming together. Just need to wait for concrete info on my doctorate now. All a bit terrifying but also exciting. Have had enough of the current job now, full of too many negative people who just want to bring others down with them.

Currently at the gym just doing a gentle cycle as part of my physio. Have had three days of very little pain so keeping things crossed I'm going in the right direction.