debt free wannabe (huge financial family mess)

MFWannabe

late2024 said:

Thank you all for your support.

The sale of the business did not bring any money, but instead covered some of the debt.
With regards to the holiday, DH is just creating more debt; he shouldn't have gone on holiday at all. But he is going to visit his mum, as he is still VERY, VERY attached to her, even after 28 years of marriage.

We do not have any joint bank accounts, except one, which is hardly used any more. So, yes, I could say, we have separated our finances. I am also trying to establish a new rule:
we have to pay the mortgage 50-50 and also the utility bills (except the electricity bill, which I told him he has to pay 100%, as his business uses a lot of electricity).

And yes, I will make some time for myself and to catch-up with my friends.

Have you managed to save your house from repossession? 

RAS

late2024 said:

We do not have any joint bank accounts, except one, which is hardly used any more. So, yes, I could say, we have separated our finances. 

So you have still not separated your finances?

One account hardly used creates, or maintains, a financial association which damages your credit record.

Please get that sorted pronto. If it's got debt associated with it, then it needs clearing before closing.

late2024

Hello again after a long time

I have now disassociated myself financially from my husband (or ex, rather), but we still have a joint mortgage. Is that still going to affect my credit score, I wonder…
I am also thinking about doing the severance of property, so it will be tenancy in common, rather than joint tenancy. I hope this will help with the (very likely now) divorce.  

elsien

The joint mortgage will affect your credit history, which is the important bit, because it is still a financial tie to him. 

late2024

Thank you @elsien. Luckily I am up to date with the mortgage payments. (As he is not contributing at all, so I am managing that).
The joint account was bothering me, but that’s now resolved. 

late2024

Hello, I m back after a long time. We are now divorcing and going through a very difficult time. The situation is now critical, very high business debts on his side, I am not involved in the business, we are in separate bedrooms, but co habiting . I can not afford a solicitor, but I did go for only one session. First and last. The price was ridiculous: 1 hour zoom call - £420, followed by an email from them - £350. Ridiculous. Never again. Anyway, I am representing myself in court and filing for divorce online. Question: if I need to translate my Marriage Certificate from a different language and this takes a few days, shall I apply for divorce now, and then send the translation later? Or shall I wait and upload the translation and only submit then?

Also my solicitor recommended to go to the police as this is financial abuse. Which I did.

We are now in the High Court Enforcement stage with bailiffs threatening. There are 2 restrictions recorded on the title register (with his name of course), EX keeps borrowing very large amounts from everywhere: people from church, neighbours, old friends living abroad… you name it…

we have weekly budget meetings and I am always asking whether he has borrowed recently and he is always saying: NO.

The most horrible thing is that he borrowed large amounts from our grown up children: house deposit money and uni money. All from their own savings, from their income. I can t believe it. And initially he did not admit it, but he did eventually.

I have no debt, I kept up the mortgage and bills payments for 16 months now, my credit score is excellent, his is very poor. I check both and inform him of his going up or down. He is happy someone is checking as he does not open letters, does not check credit scores, does not do anything. Head in the sand.

Question: how can I apply for a Urgent Interim Court Order to sell the house asap if he refuses to sell? The house is jointly owned, tenants in common, 80% paid. He refuses to agree to sell, I've suggested mediation and he said no. I will try again.

elsien

i’m sorry things should become even more difficult for you. Can’t remember if this was mentioned, but you might want to try the wikivorce website - might be a bit more specialist knowledge than there is here.

if you can prove domestic abuse, including financial coercion, that would give you access to legal aid as well. That would be worth exploring if you haven’t already.

late2024

thanks for that. trying wikivorce now.

sourcrates

My divorce was a pretty simple affair, no contest, no agro between us, but you have to get the wording correct on the divorce papers, this is where a solicitor earns their money, my papers were returned to me 4 times for correction just in the wording, everything has to meet a legal standard, so if you`re doing this yourself, be certain everything is correct before submission.

late2024

thank you for information. very useful