debt free wannabe (huge financial family mess)

cumbrianmale

If you have a joint bank account with DH then you need to open one just in your name and pay your income into it. Then you need to remove your name from the joint account. Manually switch DD's for mortgage CT and utilities to the new account. 

From what you have said all the non priority consumer debt is in his name. Once DH has to service his debt from his account using just his income he may wake up to the situation.

You need to protect your income to service your priority debts. The priority is keeping your home for you and the children. If there are arrears on the utilities they need negotiating with but your priority must be to agree a plan with your mortgage lender.

late2024

Thank you all for your great ideas and fantastic support. I really appreciate it. 

@DisabledDan really appreciate all your information and advice. Very helpful.

@Cumbrian_Male I have done all that. Now the situation is more serious than that. 

Does anyone know how long does it take for the mortgage lender to repossess my house? It says the legal action is going to start in 15 business days. But how long does it actually take?

I can not believe I am in this disastrous situation... I feel like this is not happening to me... It feels like a nightmare...

Today we were going to go to the car boot sale to sell stuff, but we couldn't as we were too tired and especially mentally tired, so we didn't prepare the stuff for selling.

MFWannabe

Have you spoken to the mortgage lender and asked them for breathing space and time to sell the property? 

The letter stated they would take legal action IF they don’t hear from you so you need to speak to them 

TheAble

Wouldn't it be better to try and head off the repossession rather than determine how long it's going to take?

Suggest you make calling your lender tomorrow morning the first task on your list.

late2024

Yes, I have spoken to them and and tomorrow I am going to speak to my debt adviser to start the breathing space process.

I am also feeling a huge pressure to try and change my job in order to increase the family income. And I know this is not the right thing to do as I have great prospects in my current job, but as DH is not willing to close his businesses and find a job, I feel that this is the only way to increase the family income.

fatbelly

Formal Breathing Space isn't going to help you.

Nothing is going to happen in the next 60 days.

The eviction process will take 6-12 months.

If you can't afford what I suggested earlier, ask them for an Assisted Voluntary Sale. 

Really we're advising in the dark here because we have no numerical details.

sourcrates

The process will be determined by how busy the courts are, usually a hearing will take 2/3 weeks to be heard.

Your lender would like to avoid this if at all possible, you can stop this now by coming to a mutually acceptable arrangement with the lender, otherwise it will go to court and the court will attempt to secure a similar arrangement with you.

If suitable proposals are put forward for repayment of the arrears and the contractual repayments, going forward, the court will make judgement to that effect.

As long as that plan is adhered too, then no further action will be taken as far as repossession is concerned.

RAS

late2024 said:

The letter came in the post from our mortgage lender.
The balance on the mortgage is only 20% of the value of the property.
I did do a SOA and there is approx 3.9k deficit per month. I prefer not to share the details on a public forum. Sorry.

Edited the quote for clarity.

You've been on here a month but it's worrying that it's only a few days ago that "my income..... can't support a high mortgage and a family of 4" has become a repossession issue. Appreciate that you want to maintain your privacy, but the focus of advice would have been different if the mortgage arrears had been made explicit at the beginning of the month.

Of the £3.9k deficit per month, how much is accounted for by the core mortgage payment? And possibly by any arrears?
How many years have you not been meeting the contractual payment on the mortgage?

Can your personal income cover the essential living costs if you were mortgage free?

You need to engage jointly with the mortgage provider, in response to their letter. Otherwise they may start proceedings. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver, that will just reduce their tolerance later if unavoidable issues arise.
 
Your OH needs to understand that either you (plural) choose to sell the house, or the mortgage provider will do it for you (plural) and you'll have a lot less capital left. You might want to articulate that when you (jointly) speak to the mortgage provider.

On a pragmatic point, you need to see your GP and make explicit that because of OH's inability to respond, your family risk homelessness. 

If OH is feeling overwhelmed, would he give you or A N Other power of attorney to organise the sale? Doesn't need to be an LPA just a straight forward POA. If you can get the house on the market, your mortgage provider may give you time to engage in a normal sale, rather than forced one.

Do check whether there are any restrictions other than the mortgage in the deeds, now, as sorting them out can increase the time need to complete a sale.

And one minor point following up cumbrianmale's advice.

If you have any other joint accounts, tell the provider that henceforth all debits have to be authorised by both signatories. And if OH had a second card in any of your accounts, cancel that card.

Hoping the best for you tomorrow.

Annisele

late2024 said:

I am also feeling a huge pressure to try and change my job in order to increase the family income. And I know this is not the right thing to do as I have great prospects in my current job, but as DH is not willing to close his businesses and find a job, I feel that this is the only way to increase the family income.

Setting aside whether a new job for you is a good idea (I suspect not), is it even possible?

You said earlier that your monthly deficit is about £3.9k. If your husband got a job, it'd need to pay about £64k a year to make that up. But if you increase your earnings, bearning in mind you say you already earn well, you probably need to increase your earnings by £80k plus to make an additional £3.9k a month after tax. £64k jobs don't exactly grow on trees - but nor do £80k payrises. 

In any case, even if you think an £80k payrise is achievable for you if you change jobs, unless you solve the underlying marriage problem your finances will probably just keep getting worse.

enthusiasticsaver

Your priority is your mortgage repayment so ideally you need to contact your mortgage lender tomorrow and focus on budgeting to cover that. You haven’t said how much your mortgage is but if only 20% of the value there should be leeway to sort out a way forward. 

It is difficult to comment without an soa but if the majority of the deficit is unsecured lending repayments I suggest you stop paying this immediately. Realistically changing your job takes time so that is not a feasible plan. So does selling the house. I would focus on coming to an arrangement with your mortgage lender, getting a budget together and your husband getting a job.