debt free wannabe (huge financial family mess)

_Penny_Dreadful

Which kind of order was made when Lloyds Bank took you to court seeking repossession?

enthusiasticsaver

Can you put an soa up? A link has been given several times. Without seeing full details of income and outgoings we are making all sorts of assumptions and an soa will clear that up. Are you prioritising unsecured debt repayments over the mortgage? 

Have you spoken to your mortgage provider to see if they can reduce payments by moving to interest only. How far have repossession proceedings gone? 

Your husband won’t be able to start another business with no capital and presumably a bad credit record. It seems he is in denial but any voluntary sale will need his agreement. So will any change in ownership like joint to tenants in common. 

HampshireH

Your husbands unwillingness to give up his businesses and willingness to start new ones is arrogant and his unwillingness support his family and keep a roof over their head is selfish.

The fact he is forcing you to manage this alone is beyond selfish.

What is he bringing to the marriage and homelife because there are 7 pages to this post which suggest not a lot.

He either really doesn't care or he doesn't have the capacity to understand and therefore make decisions on this.

I would not be buying a house with him at this stage. Sort your ownership out and rent if you need to but do no buy a house until he sorts himself out out or you decide to go alone.

late2024

HampshireH said:

Your husbands unwillingness to give up his businesses and willingness to start new ones is arrogant and his unwillingness support his family and keep a roof over their head is selfish.

The fact he is forcing you to manage this alone is beyond selfish.

What is he bringing to the marriage and homelife because there are 7 pages to this post which suggest not a lot.

He either really doesn't care or he doesn't have the capacity to understand and therefore make decisions on this.

I would not be buying a house with him at this stage. Sort your ownership out and rent if you need to but do no buy a house until he sorts himself out out or you decide to go alone.

Thank you. That is very true. Thank you for opening my eyes. I was already seeing this but it helps to have someone else telling you the same things.

I am seeing the GP this morning to ask help for him. Not sure what the GP can do in this situation, but I am trying everything.
I believe DH is not in his right mind anymore, he is very depressed and having really big problems asking for help. I'll see what the GP is saying.

Thank you all for your help, suggestions, recommendations and opinions. Really appreciated.

Cherryfudge

I hope the GP can help you. I think you have to do what you can to protect yourself going forward (the aeroplane safety drill comes to mind: put your own mask on before you attempt to help others).

I hope there's help for your husband, perhaps the GP will have suggestions. Depression is a horrible thing and for those living with it, it can feel impossible to see a way out, though others can see it. 

badmemory

 It seems he is in denial but any voluntary sale will need his agreement. So will any change in ownership like joint to tenants in common.

I'm not absolutely certain that this is true.  That doesn't make it the right thing to do of course.

elsien

It’s not true.

A joint tenancy can be severed just by serving notice on the other person. It doesn’t require the consent of both. 

kimwp

Although it feels that the OP might be entitled to more than half in this case!

alidai

Is this thread real?! Almost no information provided by the OP, just continually changing circumstances.

OP - please read the thread, and if its real, provide some information as part of an SOA rather than just more questions

late2024

alidai said:

Is this thread real?! Almost no information provided by the OP, just continually changing circumstances.

OP - please read the thread, and if its real, provide some information as part of an SOA rather than just more questions

I wish it was not real, but unfortunately it is.