debt free wannabe (huge financial family mess)

alidai

Ok then honestly, provide some numbers please…I know you said you care about anonymity but no one knows who you are anyway, and numbers do not reveal that

Floss

alidai said:

Ok then honestly, provide some numbers please…I know you said you care about anonymity but no one knows who you are anyway, and numbers do not reveal that

I think the OP has rather a lot going on right now, what with GP visits and potential repossession.

late2024

Hello,
Just a quick update:
DH has now sold one of his businesses, so he only has one left - still unprofitable . Hopefully I will convince him soon to close it down. But still reluctant to start looking for a job...
DD is starting a new job soon, away from her dad's businesses (which I am very glad about)
My other DD has just started a full time job and she is doing very well.
I have now started a new part-time job, one day a week, on Saturdays.

Phew... lots of changes... we are still in the house... I am still trying hard to save our family home...

(DH and girls are going on hols next week... I am not going... saving the house is way more important than going on hols... what a bad decision taken by DH...

Cherryfudge

At least one of the businesses has gone! And well done to you and your daughters on the new jobs.

While the others are away, could you set aside a couple of hours for yourself each day? The downtime will help refill your batteries, which I think you need and deserve.

MeteredOut

late2024 said:

Hello,
Just a quick update:
DH has now sold one of his businesses, so he only has one left - still unprofitable . Hopefully I will convince him soon to close it down. But still reluctant to start looking for a job...
DD is starting a new job soon, away from her dad's businesses (which I am very glad about)
My other DD has just started a full time job and she is doing very well.
I have now started a new part-time job, one day a week, on Saturdays.

Phew... lots of changes... we are still in the house... I am still trying hard to save our family home...

(DH and girls are going on hols next week... I am not going... saving the house is way more important than going on hols... what a bad decision taken by DH...

Where did the money from this sale end up?

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like your DH needs a dose of reality but well done to you and your DDs for getting jobs.  Maybe the part time job may lead to more for you.  Be very careful your DH does not drag you down further.  How did he pay for the holiday? 

RAS

I'd also be a bit less cheery about OH taking your daughters on holiday.

A week or two of quality time with one parent who's time to explain the current financial issues in a way favourable to them. Whilst the other parent doesn't participate and appears less generous of their time and money.

Do the girls know the property will be repossessed unless you and OH sort out the finances? 

kimwp

Have you separated your finances? No joint accounts etc? I'd be pushing for a greater than 50% ownership of the house as well, given his lack of contribution.

late2024

Thank you all for your support.

The sale of the business did not bring any money, but instead covered some of the debt.
With regards to the holiday, DH is just creating more debt; he shouldn't have gone on holiday at all. But he is going to visit his mum, as he is still VERY, VERY attached to her, even after 28 years of marriage.

We do not have any joint bank accounts, except one, which is hardly used any more. So, yes, I could say, we have separated our finances. I am also trying to establish a new rule:
we have to pay the mortgage 50-50 and also the utility bills (except the electricity bill, which I told him he has to pay 100%, as his business uses a lot of electricity).

And yes, I will make some time for myself and to catch-up with my friends.

kimwp

late2024 said:

Thank you all for your support.

The sale of the business did not bring any money, but instead covered some of the debt.
With regards to the holiday, DH is just creating more debt; he shouldn't have gone on holiday at all. But he is going to visit his mum, as he is still VERY, VERY attached to her, even after 28 years of marriage.

We do not have any joint bank accounts, except one, which is hardly used any more. So, yes, I could say, we have separated our finances. I am also trying to establish a new rule:
we have to pay the mortgage 50-50 and also the utility bills (except the electricity bill, which I told him he has to pay 100%, as his business uses a lot of electricity).

And yes, I will make some time for myself and to catch-up with my friends.

It's good that you will get some time for you. Personally I think he should be paying more of the mortgage/bills, to make up for when he didn't contribute. It depends what you agreed at the time he stopped working/ started his businesses though. 
How is he going to fund his part of the mortgage/bills?