debt free wannabe (huge financial family mess)

kimwp

late2024 said:

"well start leal action in 15 business days"

"if we don t ear from you in te next 15 business workin days, we will start leal action"

(apoloies for te missin letters; my keyboard is not workin properly. some of my keys are not workin)

Who are "we" - is it your mortgage provider? Hopefully @sourcrates or @fatbelly will be along to advise as I am not confident in my knowledge, but my understanding is that the most a consumer debt lender can do is put a hold on your house (can't remember the proper name) so that you have to repay them when you sell the house...but they can't force you to sell the house. Anything that goes to court will be decided on by a judge and they won't kick your children from their home for consumer debts if you are paying what you can.

I think the focus in your earlier posts was trying to resolve the issue of your husband draining the family finances, we need to start from the basics and get you to do an SOA (see link in my signature), which shows your income and outgoings. It needs to be as accurate as you can reasonably get it - include big spends, little spends and random spends. If some months are more expensive, average the numbers - ideally from a year's worth of numbers. Then we can figure out how much you can pay towards these debts.

It's going to be alright.

fatbelly

Ok.We need to know

Balance of mortgage
Value of house
Anything else secured on the property?
Remaining term
Amount of arrears

enthusiasticsaver

Are you in arrears with your mortgage? Speak to your mortgage provider as a first step. Maybe they can move you to interest only. 

late2024

Te letter cam in te post from our mortae lender.
Te balance on te mortae is only 20% of te value of te property.
I did do a SOA and tere is approx 3.9k defficit per mont. I preffer not to sare te details on a public forum. Sorry.

(I realise ow bad and ard to read my messaes are witout a few letters of te alpabet. Apoloies. Tere was some water split on my laptop te oter day, and now te keyboard is not workin properly).

TheAble

I would recommend you speak to your mortgage lender without delay. As ES says you may be able to move to interest-only for a while, or some alternative, until your situation hopefully improves. But don't ignore this letter, as in all probability they will move for repossession unless you enter into a dialogue with them.

fatbelly

late2024 said:

Te letter cam in te post from our mortae lender.
Te balance on te mortae is only 20% of te value of te property.
I did do a SOA and tere is approx 3.9k defficit per mont. I preffer not to sare te details on a public forum. Sorry.

(I realise ow bad and ard to read my messaes are witout a few letters of te alpabet. Apoloies. Tere was some water split on my laptop te oter day, and now te keyboard is not workin properly).

How are the numbers on your keyboard? Most of the questions I asked have a numerical answer

You know you can bring up a virtual keyboard in windows?

Try windows key + cntrl + O


The fact that you have a lot of equity will not stop possession action but will be a factor that the court will take into account so may give you time to sort this out 

The starting point for a court will be whether you can afford the contractual payment plus X to the arrears, where X clears the arrears within the remaining term of the mortgage

late2024

You are a life saver. I had no idea about the on-screen keyboard. Thank you.

kimwp

late2024 said:

Te letter cam in te post from our mortae lender.
Te balance on te mortae is only 20% of te value of te property.
I did do a SOA and tere is approx 3.9k defficit per mont. I preffer not to sare te details on a public forum. Sorry.

It's entirely up to you what information you share and we will do our best to help using the information that you feel comfortable sharing. Sharing the full SOA will gain you the best advice, will help avoid misunderstandings and the forum is anonymous, so I would really recommend it, but it is up to you.

Probably focussing on the mortgage details over the full picture is probably the first thing to do either way anyway.

DisabledDan

late2024 said:

Te letter cam in te post from our mortae lender.
Te balance on te mortae is only 20% of te value of te property.
I did do a SOA and tere is approx 3.9k defficit per mont. I preffer not to sare te details on a public forum. Sorry.

(I realise ow bad and ard to read my messaes are witout a few letters of te alpabet. Apoloies. Tere was some water split on my laptop te oter day, and now te keyboard is not workin properly).

I am very sorry to hear what you are going through, first things first, can you afford to bring any mortgage arrears up to date?

You may want to look into getting a "breathing space" in place

https://www.gov.uk/options-for-dealing-with-your-debts/breathing-space

It can be longer if your husband sees GP for depression and anxiety caused by debt and seeks an urgent referral to a MH counsellor.  I have seen law cases delayed for 2 years although that is probably quite rare.

Check out the guidance for creditors too so you are armed with all the options

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/debt-respite-scheme-breathing-space-guidance/debt-respite-scheme-breathing-space-guidance-for-creditors

I have been in both your place with an out of control spender and is his place starting up a business in hard times and good times.

I was shocked to hear you say that he has agreed to stop using the cards but it appeared you did not take the cards and cut them up or at least you hold them for safe keeping.

I think you need to see relate to determine if your marriage can be rescued, this will give you a channel to communicate hard things in a way that makes him realise he must give this matter the urgency it deserves.

Different people respond in different ways to running their own business, some go at it hell for leather and work all hours while for others it an avoidance of the real issues.  With respect, it sounds as if your husband is the latter, and I suspect it stems from the redundancy.  He may have been taken in by some online "guru" or get rich quick scheme in which case they are not businesses at all.  

A business is not rocket science, there is a market, a product or service people want, then the simple math of how many transactions are required to produce a good profit that exceeds what you can get in a job.  The marketing plan should not have any "IF's" in it but clearly defined specific and measurable opportunities that if not achieved should be abandoned.  By now he should be breaking even at minimum, I suspect that these so called businesses are just a place to hide until he gets proper mental health support. 

Meanwhile he should look for contracting opportunities, maybe add to his skills to move sideways or even into a totally new sector, but he must be able to show that he will be employable and he should pay for that by working nights in warehouses if that is what it takes.  Anyone who has these spending problems has no place running a company never mind risking your home, I suspect he is just buying hope.

In your position I would arrange an intervention, get copies of all statements and drill down what it is he has been spending money on.

As you want to sell up and you have this ultimatum I think he has to accept you are going to sell the house to avoid repossession, the question is whether your marriage can survive this.  Relationships are based on mutual trust, respect, hope and a plan to give your kids the best start in life, based on what you have said I seriously doubt the marriage will survive.  As he  in self destruct mode you can't afford to let him take you all down with him, but if he will engage with relate, surrender all means to spend anything, defer to you to manage the situation and seek any sort of employment then there is hope.  This is not a matter for negotiation, you need to drill down on his spending and your spending, do an SOA for yourself, for him and for his so called businesses.  Look I am not trying to be hard here, I can tell if something is viable in 5 minutes, members of my family work in funding new ventures or expanding them, we have dragons den type conversations all the time.  

So unless he has some IP that can be sold for a fortune or devised a way to make old CPU's do AI, then it is time to pack in the businesses and work in a real job, even the most basic job will make him feel better in himself.  It happened to a friend of mine, he took cleaning jobs at night and did care work during the day.  The time for excuses for these businesses is gone, he needs to have no spending, look at subscriptions, make sure that there is no gambling or hidden debts.  You have to take over all finances, open every letter together and work through where the money has gone.

If he won't work with you then you have to review the spending and income for the last 5 years and work out a fair equity split on the house sale, he has to know that he can only rescue the marriage if he is all in on rescuing the finances. This is survival !

If you get a sales valuation from 5 agents and show them to your mortgage provider you should be able to make the case for them delaying any action while you sell. You can't fix him, only a qualified MH Practitioner can start to do that, but your family does not have time to wait, this needs action TODAY. 

sourcrates

Its not too late to avoid legal action, but as fatbelly hints, are you able to afford the normal repayment plus X amount towards the arrears?

Forget your unsecured credit borrowing for now, this is much more urgent, you need to make an offer to them ASAP to include a monthly amount for the arrears, you need to do this like yesterday.

I wasn`t aware of any mortgage arrears, as you didn`t mention any previously.