Money Moral Dilemma: Should I help pay my boyfriend's travel costs if we move further from his work?

miss-tified

Is it fair? NO! NO! Of course it isn't fair! Nor is it reasonable. Wake up!

You are looking to buy or rent a house 15 miles nearer to where you work
Your boyfriend wants to move in with you because the contract on his rental flat is ending
OK, ask yourself again why your boyfriend wants to move in with you...

It seems it's only because he won't have anywhere else. 

Furthermore, it seems he is trying to manipulate you into supporting him financially and/or ditching your own plans simply to suit his needs and his own convenience.

Why would that be?
If you were actually important to him then why would he be doing this?

My advice: 
1. Buy or rent a house 15 miles nearer to where you work, or wherever you want
2. Ditch the boyfriend!
3. Tell ex-boyfriend to sort out his own life - his inability or unwillingness to take responsibility for his own life and situation are not your problem
4. Remember your self-respect, know your truth, and honour it.

You're worth more. I truly hope you recognise that.

leedsbird

DUMP HIM! Cheeky so and so

CrickJon

A lot of people trying to offer advice based on making assumptions about your relationship.

Personally, from the information given only, I would move to where you want to move, and let your other half decide for himself what he wants to do.

Lindamar_

if this is a sign of things to come I would run for the hills now!

confusedgranny

Is he paying rent? Sharing expenses? Do you want a flatmate?
Either the move should be a joint decision, everything shared. OR your choice and he can take it or leave it (unless and until you decide you don't want him living with you)

Angelica123

Do you want him to move in with you yet? I think it's slightly different if it is a joint decision to find a place together - in that situation, it makes sense to choose a location that is mutually beneficial. But it sounds like in your mind, you were planning to continue leaving apart and were choosing a location purely on your terms which is perfectly reasonable. 

Your boyfriend has a choice - he can move in with you and accept the higher travel costs or he can move closer to his work (in a house share or on his own). It's certainly not your responsibility to pay him the difference and it's slightly offensive that it is even being suggested. 

softlips

He's going to saving on rent etc etc so no!

scher

He wants to move in with you because his contract is ending or because he loves you? If he's moaning about money already I would dump him! You want to move to suit you, so suit you and not him.

Glads

That's a hard NO. If he wants to move in with you, that's his call and he needs to work it out, NOT you.

lurch003

So he's currently renting and paying all his bills alone- which will be a lot more than if he moved in with you so why does he think this entitles him to "charge" you for his extras. Hope you're charging him rent on exactly what he's paying now??? 

Doesn't exactly sound like the greatest start to living together if you're not even looking to do it jointly and arguing on petty little things like this.