Money Moral Dilemma: Should I help pay my boyfriend's travel costs if we move further from his work?

Binnie001

I would say 100% you don’t contribute. I would remind him of everything that he is not paying ie rent, council tax, utilities, food etc so should be helping towards your costs if he wants to move in permanently 

19menina45

From what you say , it sounds rather cheeky of him to ask you to pay towards his fares. If you had already lived together then obviously looking for somewhere half way between both jobs  would be fair , but by the sound of it he seems to  expect to make little or no effort himself but expect you to do all the sorting out. Well ,as others have said, depending on your age and the type of job you have you can have no idea how long you will remain there and unless you are already living together or have been together for a long time I would stick to getting your own place and owning it on your own. if he wants to join you then that is up to him , but there seems to be quite a few alarm bells ringing in my view.. If he comes to share your house, you might find he may then get out of paying his share of bills blaming the travel expenses.  Hmm! 

NorthantsLost

Is this a new relationship, because no-one falls in love quicker than a man who has nowhere to live...?

2702

No run far far away

gothvixen

Don't allow him to move in unless you're excited by the prospect. From what you've said, it seems very convenient for him to save money, yet he's trying to wangle a travel subsidy from you or alter your plans. I'd run a mile if I were you.

short_bird

Goodness, that's a red flag. 
How's his attitude to expenses incurred in dating? Does he forget his wallet? Eat all the food at yours and oddly, his fridge is empty? Does he bring his laundry round?
Has there been any discussion of how you'll split the bills, who will be responsible for anything (including the property hunt), splitting the initial expenses of moving in? Could be quite an educational discussion. Good luck.

Oxfordboy

If you are moving to save money to make traveling easier to work for you your not going to be any better off paying for him. If he's struggling now and he moves in with you he won't be able to afford to contribute to your bills. Once he's got his feet in your place you won't be able to get rid of him if the relationship breaks down. If he loves you he will get his own place. I would say don't let him move him if he doesn't like it dump him and stay single until you find someone you can trust 

Matt8888

If he is living with your rent-free, then obviously not. He should be grateful. However, assuming he will pay some of the rent/mortgage, you could factor this travel consideration into how much he pays you.

Robhfds

You need to do what is best for you not him. If he's asking for you to give him money now he's not the person you want to build a life with. Real men that care will NEVER ask for money, they will offer you money. Personally if I were in your shoes I'd ditch him and tell him to rent his own place as you aren't going to give him a free ride. You are worth far more than a sponger and will definitely find a much nicer person soon enough. 

CapeTown

Will you be giving him pocket money too.