NST A May Meditation

Thrifty_Taylor

Ouch @grandmanerd, that sounds painful. A few days rest is on the cards now, I hope! Take care.

NSD#4
Up at the regular work o'clock time, to get DS1 up for work. Practiced Norwegian, then hung the washing on the line. Overcast all day, but its stayed dry & breezy.

Went for a walk with DH. After dinner I set to & weeded round both ponds. We have a pretty plant with burgundy square stems & green leaves, which grows quite tall, but it spreads like mad! So all the bits of that which were tidied up or removed, have gone into sacks to take to the dump. Quite pleased with the finished area afterwards.

Measured, cut & pinned 7 pairs of jeans, ready to sew the hems tomorrow night.

Grateful for finishing my book & starting another, listening to a Swedish band's top 30 tunes whilst weeding, a tidy bit of the garden, dry washing

Chrystal

That must have been really scary @grandmanerd and you probably won't feel the effects immediately, so be extra kind to yourself for the next few days.

I don't know what arrangements you've got with your brother, but you are basically doing a Project Managers job  - .and they aren't cheap!  Plus you're not exactly in the best of health yourself! 

 Have you discussed the fact that your time and effort has to be payed out of the assets, either now or when it's sold?  Or would they do what you're doing for nothing if the situation was reversed?

Glad that you've managed to find gardeners, and the price sounds really reasonable. I would imagine it will make a huge difference when it's done.

Sending gentle (((hugs))) XX

Chrystal

grandmanerd said:

Monday 6th May 2024


Feed yourself well mentally, physically and spiritually and then enjoy your life with the vessel you inhabit. It's a one shot only thing. Peace, laughter and acceptance are the best medicines around
(Donna Ashworth)

We cannot shame ourselves into change, we can only love ourselves into evolution

This doesn't mean that you can't change but you won't succeed by hating your body. It has done you good service and you need to accept it fully and love and respect it (mothernerd)

YOU DO NOT Need to solve your whole life in a day.  You do not need to fix everything tonight.  You do not need to, nor will you be able to. So instead of feeling that the mountain in  front of you is so huge you could  never scale  it and give up  entirely, just focus on taking one step.  All you need to do today is take one step in the right direction, and then tomorrow take another. Your life is not transformed in one sweeping motion, it is changed bit by bit, ordinary moment by ordinary moment,  when you decide to stop  waiting for  perfection and start doing what you can right here and fight now to move yourself forward
(Brianna Wiest)

Thanks for this, I'll try and take it on board.

DH has been really unwell these last few weeks and it's so difficult when there's next to nothing I can do to ease it.  He's got an integral morphine pump that goes directly into his spine (he's had that for about the last 20 years) and has been bedridden for about 25 years)  He can still usually make me laugh, but he's finding it difficult at the moment.

Really grateful for DS2 who is an absolute godsend, and for DD & DSIL (both of whom are also ill) for a recent visit with their 2 dogs --- I miss mine so much, so it's lovely to get hugs and kisses from the furry fiends!

(((hugs))) and well wishes for all who need them.  Take care everyone XX

grandmanerd

Chrystal said:

I don't know what arrangements you've got with your brother, but you are basically doing a Project Managers job  - .and they aren't cheap!  Plus you're not exactly in the best of health yourself! 

 Have you discussed the fact that your time and effort has to be payed out of the assets, either now or when it's sold?  Or would they do what you're doing for nothing if the situation was reversed?

Sending gentle (((hugs))) XX

I'm pretty sure they'd be against paying me anything (just expect me to do everything for nothing) but I do have a plan. The gas certificate is due and I'm going to ask my knight in shining armour (my plumber/ gas person is called Lancelott) to do the full (more expensive) service and charge for any parts that need replacing. I'll also ask him to check all the radiators (think it's a while since they were installed) and if he can recommend a gas engineer to sort the lead pipe.

I still have contact details for the man who did my rewiring and I'll get him to do an electrical certificate and make recommendations - if it needs a full rewire that needs to be reflected in the price. I'll also have the EPC done - it would be needed for any prospective buyer and that includes me. Some light fittings definitely need upgrading (ancient very yellow strip tube in the kitchen).

I don't see any point in buying basic floor coverings and then ripping them up and paying out again to get what I want so  I'll be picking the laminate I want for the front room and paying to have it installed.  If I can have it installed upstairs (I've kept the carpets because they were in reasonable condition but I'm not a carpet fan) I will do. The stairs and landing carpet needs replacing (it's only down so  we don't rip  our feet on the carpet grips) and I've  always chosen 80% wool carpets when I've not been making do with other people's cast offs (including remodelling a lounge carpet to fit the stairs and landing here - had to cut strips in 4 different widths. We have a carpet 'mill' that has bargain ex-contract carpet (might use them for the laminate too).  It's a  local firm that's been there for donkeys years rather than a national  chain.

Similarly with window treatments. I was going to take mine from the front room (good quality made to measure cs bargain), my old turquoise ones (bought at the end of DS2's first year at uni so 16 years old and with a few holes made by the cats) and a duck egg pair (recent cs find). However I think I'll pick what I want, second hand but good fabric and good quality - some of the ones I've looked at are £300 a pair but if this is my forever home I'll pick something to  last (and I can no longer sew my own). I'll also ask for suitable recommendations for bathroom and kitchen blinds. I won't use them often but I'll have them if I need to have a strip wash in the kitchen and need privacy (or something similar - wardrobe malfunction?)

The tenant said he hadn't used the oven for years and thought it didn't work. If there's  a cooker there, the assumption is that it's  in working order (the rest of this list is items that would be expected in a sale - fittings and contents forms) so I'll ask for £300 towards the cost of a replacement and a new extractor fan (subject to a trawl of sale sites - it might need to be £500). I don't think I need an oven, just a hob (+ air fryer/ halogen oven/ min oven) so that's the best option for me.

All these are legitimate costs to the estate - I'm not asking for a new kitchen (which I want) or the downstairs toilet and shower but I will ask about replacing the front and back doors and when the windows might need to be replaced (not actually leaking in but one or two have  moss growing on the windowsills). And check with the EPC person in case they aren't up to  modern standards.

I don't think I'm being unfair. And they can get the new valuations in writing. They asked for valuations, I got valuations. If they aren't happy they can organise new ones (need them in writing for the Land Registry).

ditty1234

Hi just checking in to say hello May. I feel last week was a right rollercoaster, I thought about going back to work and just started getting really scared, as I will have to go back in June. But I have decided to jump ship and just see what happens, I really don't have the security I would like, but since my employer is just grinding at my health, I don't want to stay there. So I will give my notice the week I go back. I have my cover job, so can probably make some money come September when my work would run out, but I will also have time to hopefully find something else. 
On a more positive note, I have had a lovely bank holiday weekend and was grateful that the sun showed up in my garden this weekend, all my seeds are now sewed and I don't actually really have space for all of the plants. 

f0xh0les

Don't forget you would be saving them estate agents fees, stamp duty, solicitors and fa la la la la, plus he would get his hands on the money before summer to enjoy it with his nearest and dearest.  

You would be saving them thousands, and months and months of time, and you are a cash buyer, as it were.

If they won't sell it to you, I would then suggest it going  straight to auction  as-is,  as you need the money to find something else quickly and can't be mucking about.

Can you tell I am feeling bolshy on your behalf?   I still have not heard a word from Step-Gran's family since they got their money, and they never offered anything for my time either.   People eh?

DawnW

Take care @grandmanerd that sounds like a nasty fall!

And I agree with @f0xh0les, I would be sending the house to auction as is and not having the hassles from your relatives, and all the extra work. You could then use the money to sort something more suitable for your needs.

short_bird

@grandmanerd I agree with foxholes and DawnW. Get it to auction as is, you've done enough for them.

f0xh0les

It was meant as more of a threat to be honest!  Grandmanerd wants to move in there, it would solve a lot of her short term problems.  Mind you, sentimentality has no place when selling houses.  Yes, it might make more money done up, but it does him no good if it takes 18 months to do up and sell, if he doesn't last 18 months, plus his daughter might get hit with inheritance tax on top, if she inherits both houses......If they don't agree to sell it to you grandmanerd, then pass on the selling side of it to him and his daughter, and mither them about 'your share' on a weekly basis, or ask THEM to  buy YOU out at the price they expect to achieve for it. Lay it on thick.  You did enough work with your mum's house. This should not all fall on you. It simply is not fair. You need liquid assets so you can go on holiday and enjoy yourself this Summer.   Financial Freedom and Independence will be yours.  

f0xh0les

This week I seem to have fallen into a job where I am working for SIX minutes every hour.... Good job I have a sturdy pile of books-to-be-read... and I have discovered a hidden courtyard garden with a bench to read them in! £2 a minute 🤣 and 54 minutes unpaid break for reading time.   It is silly.    NSD4.