Money Moral Dilemma: My daughter's selling clothes I got her - should she have offered them to me?

cooki2222

Whitney dressed as Britney…

LAMBS60

What made you look at a clothes selling site in the first place ? I do think that it’s sad to be selling the clothes so soon . She’ll still need clothes won’t she ? Will she buy more clothes with the money ?From what I have seen , you don’t get a lot back on clothes sites , so maybe that seems rather insulting to you . If you offered to buy them ( so buying them twice !) how would you price them ? Was it easier to accept clothes rather than ask for money ? 

charliemeg

My daughter is strictly vegan and very picky, so the gifts I buy her are often unsuitable for one reason or another. Last Christmas as she was unenthusiastically opening her gifts she casually mentioned how she had taken some of my unsuitable gifts from her previous Christmas to the charity shop. I was so disappointed and asked her if she could give me first option in the future. Going forward she will strictly be getting money from me, which is not the same imo, but I may as well just buy her gifts and take them straight to a charity shop myself as things stand. 

carolinechapman01

No. Absolutely not. They were a GIFT. You have no claim on them whatsoever. I grew up with parents who attached strings to every present. It's not a true gift if there are rules. Relax, and stop keeping track of things which are not yours. 

John_Gray

Easy answer: stop buying her any clothes, and only buy for yourself the clothes she would never dream of wearing.

Beadyjanet

In hindsight and if you do it in future (which I guess you won't) you should have said, if and when you no longer need them I'd like them back. I do understand why you're annoyed but also I can see her point, she probably thought she'd be insulting you by returning what was a gift.

BadAnnie

Surely if your daughter was struggling what she needed was financial help not necessarily clothes. You can never really assume you know someone else's taste. Money would have helped where she knew she most needed it. Try it next time or ask her what she needs.

honestcove

As the two of you are the same size you’ve got a solution when this scenario arises again. Just give her your old cast-offs.

Agent57

Firstly as others have said - A gift is a gift.

It always amazes me how generous and well intended people can be when giving gifts without thinking through the consequences.  If she is 'struggling with money', is nice clothes the best gift to give her.  (I am assuming they are quite nice as she is selling them.)

You should maybe take a more rounded approach.  Why is she struggling with money? What does she actually need rather than want?  What is the best value you can get in terms of pounds given versus helping her money struggles in the short and medium term?  What is she going to spend the money she gets from selling the clothes on? Did you buy her clothes that you like rather than clothes that she might like? She is your daughter so have a conversation with her before giving any more gifts.

pfpf

MMD = A(un)I