Money Moral Dilemma: My daughter's selling clothes I got her - should she have offered them to me?

Xs500

You say you gave them to her but your query infers you really think you only lent them to her and therefore retain some right over them.
A gift is absolute, a loan is a loan and repayable.
Perhaps you could consider that you have still helped by giving her assets that she can convert to now needed cash.
If she had changed red shoes you gave her for a black pair she really needed, say for work, would you have been offended?

donsaul

It all depends upon whether you gave the clothes unconditionally, or if you placed conditions on the clothing gifts. If the former, which is what I would have done, she can do as she likes. If the latter, then you would have recourse to challenge her if she broke the conditions.
If they were, unintentionally, unconditional gifts, then either place conditions in future (if you don't want them, I'd like them back, please) or accept that her need for cash is greater than her need for clothes.
If you really don't like what she is doing, then stop enabling her, by buying her clothes?

ROGGER

Your daughter is perfectly aware that you didn't buy the clothes for her, since you did not have her taste in mind when you bought them.  You bought them because you liked them. And then you rubbed her nose in her poverty by pretending to care about her predicament.  Now she's asserting her independence and punishing you, killing two birds with one stone, and you're livivd

bikaga

Was she supposed to know? Did she specifically ask for these clothes, then sell them without getting good use out of them? Did you tell her you would love to have them if she ever changes her mind? If the answer is no, then she shouldn't have.

But please, talk to your daughter rather than random internet strangers.

Jason9091

Most commenters here seem to have missed the point.

Everyone should know that once you give a gift the recipient is free to do whatever they like with it since it belongs to them. That much is obvious. But just because you can do something, doesn't mean you ought to do it or that anything you do is morally acceptable.

Jason9091

ROGGER said:

Your daughter is perfectly aware that you didn't buy the clothes for her, since you did not have her taste in mind when you bought them.  You bought them because you liked them. And then you rubbed her nose in her poverty by pretending to care about her predicament.  Now she's asserting her independence and punishing you, killing two birds with one stone, and you're livivd

You've met them both?

Spoonie_Turtle

Wingman_2010 said:

I realise that the forum rules mention that this is a public forum and "behind every quandry is a person", but I find the behaviour of this womans daughter irresponsible and well as thoughtless.

"Fast fashion" contribute significantly to the environmental degradation we see evidence of all around us, from the destruction of vast areas of land used to cultivate cash crops such as cotton, to the exploitation of fossil fuels in order to produce the huge quantities of man-made fibres that end up polluting the rivers and seas due to their longevity and lack of bio-degradability.

The clothes mentioned were bought LAST YEAR!. 

So firstly, the daughter should be considering why she feels the need to dispose of clothes that are less than a year old, and bearing in mind that they were bought by her mother in a time when she (the mother) thought her daughter needed support, some kind of dialogue, about their sale would have been the least that a respectful daughter should show her mother.. No being old-fashioned, just looking out for the environment and hoping for a better dialogue between mother and daughter in future.

She's selling them. 
Fast fashion is about constantly buying new stuff and unwanted clothes being dumped. 

This is the opposite of that - she's selling them for others to wear, most likely because she needs the money or she doesn't wear the clothes; and whomever buys them is buying something secondhand instead of something new, thus reducing demand for more new stuff to be churned out.

Rehoming them (either selling like she is or giving away to a friend/back to her mother) is the responsible thing to do with unwanted clothes.  In this respect it's better even than giving them to a charity shop, because unsold stuff from charity shops either goes for rags (requiring resources to process the rags - not as bad as manufacturing whole new clothes but more resource instensive than them just being reworn) or gets dumped.

Nearlythere23

Contrary to everyone else - I think that whether or not she bought them, you bought them or someone else bought them if your daughter knows that you are same size and they are to your taste then she should have given you first refusal.

She needs the money/she doesn't want the clothes, they are hers to sell - so you should get first opportunity to get a bargain rather than a stranger and there's no point paying postage/selling fees etc. to buy them from her via a website.

Just say you are interested in buying X/Y/Z how much?

Having said that -  if it was my daughter I'd be asking if she is just having a clear out or if she needs the cash (cos she might not actually want to sell them but needs to?), then I would expect her to offer to give me any clothes I wanted that she no longer wanted - and I'd give her more money if she needed it, cos at the end of the day any money I have will be hers when I pop my clogs.

tombhoy327

They are hers to do with what she likes.
If, as you say, the clothes would fit and suit you, that may explain why she is selling them in the first place.  
If things are tough financially, perhaps a gift of cash would have been more useful to her.

Hazel29

Maybe it would have been better to just give her some cash rather than clothes and let her choose what to do with the money.