The Diary Of Onebrokelady Aged 60 And A Half

Onebrokelady

I went to see Dad today and he woke up briefly to hold my hand then went back to sleep. He kept shouting out in his sleep, I sat there for 45 minutes rubbing his back and at one point  he mumbled “ feels nice “ he woke up enough for me to say goodbye then went back to sleep. It was a nightmare getting there today due to diversions and the bus only being able to go at what felt like 10 miles an hour . It took me an hour to get there but I needed to see him as I know my mum hasn’t been in this week and I don’t like the thought of him being left on his own. He’s not too aware all the time but he does have moments where he is lucid and I can just see him sitting there by himself 😢😢 luckily the cold symptoms i had on Wednesday disappeared overnight. My niece is taking Mum to see Dad tomorrow and then she is dropping her in town to meet me for lunch, it’s Mums birthday tomorrow so I suggested we met up. 

 I met my friend for lunch yesterday and it was really nice to do some normal things, she went through all this with her Mum and Dad so knows what it’s like and has been very supportive. 

I was supposed to phone the gp today to get another fit note and completely forgot, I remembered on the way home at gone five so it was too late to call. One of my bosses phoned me while I was on the bus home so I told her I wouldn’t  be back yet and was going to speak to my gp on Monday to get another fit note,she was fine with that and said she wouldn’t chat to me about about things while I was on the bus and would get my other manager to phone me on Monday. 

Yesterday I got the urge to knit something so I ordered some wool to knit another chunky jumper. I knitted one a couple of winters ago and it was great in all the cold weather, the only problem was I followed the pattern for the sleeves and they are miles too long so while I’m waiting for my wool to arrive I’m going to unpick the sleeves and knit them back up in the right length, this jumper is super thick and I loved wearing it out the longs sleeves were annoying. I will have to take my time with it because my hands are quite painful at the moment. I also shopped from home yesterday, I broke the last of my drinking glasses and was going to go and buy a pack of four to replace them when I remembered there was a box of assorted glasses in the spare room that my daughter asked me to take to the charity shop so I had a look and there were four tumblers in there, I thought they were all wine glasses so it’s a good job I had a look. I now have four new to me glasses for free 🙂

Onebrokelady

Seasidegal58 said:

I'm so sorry to hear the latest news of your dad OBL and how you are feeling healthwise. 

I do hope your headache and sore throat go by tomorrow and you feel well enough to meet up with your friend. Should do you good. 🤞

Thanks I felt ok so was able to meet my friend 🙂

Onebrokelady

millymolly22 said:

So sorry to hear about your dad.  I went through the same with my mum and luckily she wasnt really aware what was happening.  We were given the option to have a look at suitable nursing homes so maybe you could call the ones nearest your mum to see if they have space.  Take care 

Dad is mostly asleep now but does have some lucid moments. He’s not aware of what’s happening and won’t realise he hasn’t gone home which is a blessing really. We dwill t have the option of choosing the home it depends on who can offer him the right care unfortunately 

Onebrokelady

jwil said:

Sorry to hear about your Dad but glad there is a plan in place.

We found the same when dealing with a relative's handbag after they died - they were carrying hundreds of pounds in cash everywhere!

I hope you feel better soon.

I’m not as stressed out as I was now I know what’s happening and that Dad is safe. What is with elderly people carrying money around with them 😀

Onebrokelady

badmemory said:

My friends wife died 18 years ago & when he was moving house 3 years ago they were still finding cash.  There was even some in a chest of drawers that had gone over the back & even something stuck to the bottom of a drawer.  That was when I said stop, you have to go through all these bin bags before they go.  We are talking 5 figures here and no-one has a clue where she got it from either, which doesn't seem to bother them but it would me.

My friends Mum died a couple of years ago and they found thousands stashed around her house when they cleared it out, some of the notes weren’t legal tender anymore but the bank did change them luckily. My Mum has told me where she keeps her stash of money in the house and she is such a neat and tidy person I’m confident that’s all there is 🤞

Onebrokelady

foxgloves said:

Oh dear, OBL, what a lot you have to deal with at the moment. I remember when my Dad was at the palliative care stage. Apart from a week in hospital earlier in his illness, my Mum managed to look after him at home because he didn't want to leave her & go into a care home, but it was too much for her. I understand people wanting to end their days at home, but it is so difficult when the other partner has no medical training. Mum also struggled to see instructions on things like oxygen machines & tablets & was very stressed a lot of the time. I think it will be such a relief all round that your Dad will be getting the care he needs. The most important thing now is that he is kept comfortable & pain-free. 
It must be difficult dealing with this when you have the rift with your sister. Thankfully I didn't have that problem when my Mum & Dad were in their final stages, but with Mr F estranged from 2/3 of his family, I can see similar issues arising down the line. 
Sending sympathy, especially as you haven't been feeling at all well for a while yourself. It will be a stressful old time, but it will pass, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. Take every opportunity you can to rest with a good book, watch an episode of something you've been wanting to catch up on or just have a little wander around the garden.
Best wishes,
F x

Thanks , I’ve read so many books since I’ve been off and I’m planning g on watching a drama on catch up soon. I wanted to watch it when it started but was too tired but I think I might actually be able to stay awake now, it’s called Apples Never Fall and is based on the book by Lianne Moriarty which I really enjoyed so it should be good.

The rift with my sister has caused all sorts of problems and it’s only going to get more complicated when it comes time to sort Mum out as we both have LPAS for her, I can see trouble ahead 🙄 I’m thinking about having This Too Shall Pass tattooed on my arm 😀

Onebrokelady

milann said:

I’m so sorry to hear the news about your dad. He will be better off being cared for by the home where the people are fit and able to take on all the things your mum would find difficult. I’m glad she admitted it’s too much for her, but I bet she’ll feel guilty and wants to do it all herself.i hope the wallet turns up 🤞
Rest as much as you can although it is difficult when you have so much on your mind. Sending lots of positive vibes your way.

Thank you Milann I asked at the hospital today in case someone had found her wallet and handed it in but no luck. I’m glad and relieved that mums finally seen sense and allowed Dad to go into a nursing home ,she didn’t have a choice really and things were getting unsafe at home so that’s why I said she couldn’t do it because if I hadn’t been there she would have taken him home again. I’m still waiting for her to change her mind but he definitely won’t be going home if I’ve got anything to do with it. She didn’t believe he was ill so didn’t call a doctor and this is why he ended up in hospital with a chest infection. I’m still really angry about it but he’s going to be safer now.

foxgloves

@OBL, I'm glad you were able to visit your Dad. It's such a stressful time when a parent reaches the palliative care stage & knowing he is being looked after & given the medical care he needs for a peaceful ending is the best thing any of us can do at that stage.
I think sorting yourself out with some new knitting is a really good idea. It's good to have something to do during stressful times, as well as being productive as you'll have another nice warm garment to wear. I find knitting very soothing & meditative....well apart from the section of this shawl I'm knitting where I am getting increasingly closer to a row of pattern instructing me to 'Knit 13 together'.......
Take care of yourself,
F x

Onebrokelady

foxgloves said:

@OBL, I'm glad you were able to visit your Dad. It's such a stressful time when a parent reaches the palliative care stage & knowing he is being looked after & given the medical care he needs for a peaceful ending is the best thing any of us can do at that stage.
I think sorting yourself out with some new knitting is a really good idea. It's good to have something to do during stressful times, as well as being productive as you'll have another nice warm garment to wear. I find knitting very soothing & meditative....well apart from the section of this shawl I'm knitting where I am getting increasingly closer to a row of pattern instructing me to 'Knit 13 together'.......
Take care of yourself,
F x

😳😳😳how do you knit 13 together, I have trouble doing two 😀 
im certainly feeling a bit less stressed now I know he’s being looked after and people are taking things seriously 🙂

dawnybabes

Knit 13 together - eek, I’m just knitting socks and just about getting my head around the funny needles!