The Diary Of Onebrokelady Aged 60 And A Half

Onebrokelady

Muddy_Walker said:

How are you today OBL?
I managed to sleep last night so am up today pottering and doing things slowly. I am terrible for resting always feel like I should be doing something (another very long and boring story about my upbringing) and get anxious easily. I was in a different team last year - I work in admin/finance - and working from home and my boss was very toxic towards me plus the supervisor. I managed to change teams and am doing something very different now and my boss couldn’t be nicer! Makes such a difference 😊

The dogs are real characters and make me laugh every day. They have been an absolute godsend and now when I am poorly as all their toys get dumped on the bed.  Hubby has been a star too bless him.

i know very little about the nursing profession so am curious about what you do….you mention clinics and wards and taking blood so in my mind you are a nurse 😊 and an awesome person all round 😘

I had a better day today thanks 🙂probably becasue I was back at work so didn’t have time to think about anything 😀 I like to relax but only when everything has been done which as we know never happens. I used to have a very toxic boss but thankfully she retired . I know how awful it is to work for someone like that so I’m glad you are now out of it. My bosses are ok mostly now but do have their moments but then so do I 😬

I am a Paediatric HCA, I’m qualified to a band 3 but I’m actually employed as a band 2 but they get me to do band 3 jobs ( which I’m about to challenge ) I did my band 3 training several years ago now but when everyone was upgraded recently they said I needed more training. My answer was that they have been happy for me to do the job since 2007 with the training I have so what’s changed. In the end I told them I didn’t want to be upgraded because I wouldn’t do anymore training . I would remain a band 2 and stop doing band 3 jobs which hasn’t happened. Miraculously I’m still doing band 3 jobs without the extra training they think I need.

Awww shucks no one has called me awesome before 😀

Onebrokelady

Muddy_Walker said:

OBL I have just finished your previous diary and feel a bit lost now! 🤣

You have come through so much and def deserve a much better year than last year 😊

You deserve a medal for wading through all that 😀

Onebrokelady

debtfreewannabe321 said:

Ooo lots to catch up on, I will have to come back another day to finish the last twenty pages but I just wanted to say if you haven't sorted your hip pain out I wondered if you have tried a chiropractor? I have sciatica but also hip dysplasia so am always in some sort of pain. Today it is only around a 3/10 pain some days it is all I can think about as it hurts so much.

Those days it causes nerve pain all the way down my groin, leg, knee, and to my feet. I have bought insoles for shoes too on the advice of the chiropractor to help raise my arches. I have high arches naturally and these help with pain especially when I am on my feet all day.

I was diagnosed with fibro around ten years ago but I rejected it  I told them it was nonsense and they only gave me that label as they didn't know what was wrong. I have mostly fixed myself with chiropractor, rest, meditation, reiki, herbal suppplements in favour of big pharma ones and yoga and also listening to my body and resting it when it demands it otherwise I get sick. It is ongoing though and I have to always be on top of keeping it at bay. 

Hope all is well, I will come back and finish what I started another day, but work calls now.....

Hi 
I haven’t tried a chiropractor previously due to lack of funds but it’s something I could look into now.

I manage the “Fibro “ symptoms with a variety of things. I’ve done a lot of research and found that as it’s a somatic problem it helps to work on the brain. I used the Curable app for a while but didn’t keep it up mainly for finance reasons. I’ve tried diet changes which didn’t help. Meditation helps to a degree but not if I’m having a massive pain flare . Keeping my life as stress free as possible exercising and doing meaningful things such as hobbies helps keep my Fibro symptoms at bay really well. 

The hip problem has thrown a spanner in the works because I can’t to some of the things I do to relieve my other problems. I like walking, love riding and used to love diy. I still enjoy gardening but struggle to do it if my hip is hurting.

I did try yoga and enjoyed it but I didn’t keep it up, that’s something I will go back to though. I think I’ve just got myself into a bit of a rut and need to get myself out of it. I’m normally full of fighting talk but I’m just feeling a bit worn down at the moment 

Onebrokelady

Why do cats always wake you up 45 minutes before the alarm is due to go off 😡I told him this morning he is rapidly running out of lives😀

I went back to work today and worked with someone I don’t spend much time with . She is very nice though and also very efficient so that was good because my brain was still in holiday mode until at least lunch time, We had a nice steady shift with some real little characters coming through the clinics. I love funny children who are chatty and a bit cheeky 😀 

I was very naughty on the way home though because I bought chips for me and a sausage for B . We possibly won’t get to the beach with her again( where we have chips and she has a sausage)  so I thought I would treat her at home instead . The lady in the chip shop said this sounds like it’s a doggy sausage because I asked for it to wrapped separate and said no to salt and vinegar. I told her it was and thought it was funny she guessed 😀

Im just chilling out now waiting for some washing to finish so I can hang it up .

I am definitely calling my gp tomorrow because my arm has got worse. I was trying to hold someone’s arm today while they had a blood test and the pins and needles were so painful I almost had to let go. I can’t type with that hand because it gets really bad then my arm starts jerking 😳

CRANKY40

I have pins and needles in my hand and my consultant friend who is like a medical encyclopaedia said that it is a problem with a nerve. It stops if I put my hand behind my back. My doctor denied all knowledge and has just left me to get on with it.

I'm interested in your approach to fibro. I am hypermobile so some of my joints have bone spurs and I've had one partial knee replacement already (I'm 56). I asked the doctor at the pain clinic what part my immune system may be playing in the fibro (which I always thought was just hypermobile joint pain) and he said that over response by the immune system is one of the least researched branches of medicine. 

I hope that B enjoyed every munch of her chippy sausage. I'd buy her another if I could. 

I had a similar cash flow problem to yours when I was widowed. I had my wages paid monthly, widowed parents allowance paid every two weeks and my widows pension paid on the 10th of every month. What I did was to add the whole lot up and take that amount from my capital. I then paid myself at the end of the month say £1000. I opened a separate savings account called "money in" and any payments that come in go into that (WPA has stopped now). At the end of every month I still pay £1000 into my current account and this pays all of the bills, petrol money etc. It was worth the reduction in capital for the reduction in my stress levels 

Take care 😊

far_to_go

Hello Onebrokelady. Longtime lurker here. I’ve read both of your diaries and your entry on March 25th made me sad, especially...

 

“doctors don’t listen to me so I don’t bother trying to make an appointment,  I’m too tired to try to explain it to them.”

 

I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be to feel like no one is listening when you just need help with your pain.

I just wondered if any of your doctors had ever suggested that you may have a gluten allergy or intolerance. A cousin has been diagnosed as coeliac and also with fibro and was told they often go together.  Perhaps you already knew this, but maybe you didn’t. If you google thrivingwithceliac ( an American site) then click on images it brings up a list of possible health issues. You have already mentioned some of them on your diaries. With your medical background I may be telling you something you already know, in which case I apologise.

Maybe you have already tried a gluten free diet and it didn’t make any difference for you. If so, sorry I can’t help further. Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and wishing you well.

daisy_1571

I was going to suggest similar to cranky40.  

Don't get put off by the following  - work it through and hopefully it will make sense.  The end result will be to automate as much as possible to keep life as simple as possible. 

As I understand it, you are trying to work out how to smooth out irregular dated incomes with normal monthly outgoings. 

Heres what I would do  -----

Any income goes into bank account 1.

Get a bit paper or an excel spreadsheet.   Add your various incomes up to get annual amounts for any income.  Divide by 12.  Thats your monthly income. 

Note down all your monthly and annual bills.  For annual costs, divide by 12.  Add up these twelfths and the monthly amounts.  I'm going to call this totalled figure "twelfth".   Hopefully that total is well below your monthly income.   Arrange all your monthly and annual bills to come from bank account 2.  Arrange a monthly standing order from bank account 1 to bank account 2 of the 'twelfth' figure.   Over the year you should be building up an excess in this account as you are saving a twelfth of your annual bills ready to pay them when they are due.  Other than keeping an eye on this account it should chunter away itself.  

The balance of your monthly income amount:- This will have to cover your general day to day spending ie food shopping, petrol etc.  Multiply this figure by 12 and divide by 52.  Arrange a weekly standing order from bank account 1 to bank account 3 for this amount (or smaller if thats all you need).   This means you get a fresh weekly amount to pay for the things you class as weekly - no more waiting on the end of the month!  This was life changing for us and ive been using an account like this for about 15 years.

You might also want bank account 4.  This would be where you send a monthly amount as pocket money, fun money, discretionary money, however you want to class it.  This is your money for fun, fripperies etc, however you class them.  An item of clothing you fancy but don't really 'need', a magazine,  afternoon tea or lunch out.  Whatever makes sense to you. 




Its obviously up to you where individual bills and categories go.  In our twelfth account we save a twelfth of amounts we have a rough idea of the cost ie car tax, insurances but also a twelfth of estimated annual figures categories such as 'presents' (xmas/birthdays/plus an extra amount for stuff like house warming/new babies etc), holidays, vehicle servicing.   These require a bit tweaking from time to time as costs change.

In your first year you will either need to divide certain costs by the remaining months to renewal ie if your house insurance is due in 3 months you will need to save more each month to have the full amount ready by 3 months time.  Or you will need to add a booster amount into account  from your savings.  But after that it will work.  

If you are able to satisfy your bills, your weekly outgoings, your discretionary spending etc from a figure less than your calculated monthly income over the year you won't be using any of your savings to pay your calculated monthly income over to bank accounts 2, 3 and 4.  The balance will be remaining in bank account 1, topping your savings back up to where they were before you took some out to start fund account 2 and in the initial few months when you might be removing the monthly amount before your various incomes have started covering and balancing out.  

I hope this makes sense but if I've written something confusing,  just ask.  Or obviously,  just ignore if this doesn't seem to help your issues.

Daisy xx

Onebrokelady

CRANKY40 said:

I have pins and needles in my hand and my consultant friend who is like a medical encyclopaedia said that it is a problem with a nerve. It stops if I put my hand behind my back. My doctor denied all knowledge and has just left me to get on with it.

I'm interested in your approach to fibro. I am hypermobile so some of my joints have bone spurs and I've had one partial knee replacement already (I'm 56). I asked the doctor at the pain clinic what part my immune system may be playing in the fibro (which I always thought was just hypermobile joint pain) and he said that over response by the immune system is one of the least researched branches of medicine. 

I hope that B enjoyed every munch of her chippy sausage. I'd buy her another if I could. 

I had a similar cash flow problem to yours when I was widowed. I had my wages paid monthly, widowed parents allowance paid every two weeks and my widows pension paid on the 10th of every month. What I did was to add the whole lot up and take that amount from my capital. I then paid myself at the end of the month say £1000. I opened a separate savings account called "money in" and any payments that come in go into that (WPA has stopped now). At the end of every month I still pay £1000 into my current account and this pays all of the bills, petrol money etc. It was worth the reduction in capital for the reduction in my stress levels 

Take care 😊

I would strongly suggest you look into Fibromyalgia being a somatic illness. I used an app called Curable that first helped me realise that it’s a brain disorder and not autoimmune. I then discovered the works of Dr John Sarno ( now deceased ) so I read some of his books which led me to others working in the field of neuroscience and particularly neuroplasticity. The names are escaping me at the moment but I will have a look and let you know. Allan Gordon is one person who I would recommend and also a site called TMI WIKI which  has tons of info on it. 

The basic idea is that pain is formed in the brain no matter what causes it it comes from the brain. If you break a leg it is the brain telling the body that it hurts not the body. Then leading on from this stress can cause the brain to send out a pain message instead of an appropriate reaction such as crying. People get all worked up thinking they mean it’s all in their head and they are imagining the pain but that’s not the case. The pain is very real but the cause isnt a bad leg or elbow it’s the brain sending out a false message because it doesn’t feel safe for whatever . This is why there are no lab tests for Fibromyalgia,it doesn’t cause any damage in the body at all because it’s just a pain signal gone wrong 

I was diagnosed after my sister died and it took me two years to realise the pain I was actually in was not caused by a physical problem but by repressed trauma and emotion I’ve had several traumas since my 20s and I think it as a result of them not being dealt with properly that I became ill. If something stresses me out I will have a flare up of pain. If I’m worried I will have a pain flare. Once I realised this and started paying attention my flare ups get less and less for some people it disappears completely but I don’t think mine will because the stress is ongoing. It all sounds a bit woo woo but there’s loads of research been done on this. The USA are ahead of us in that respect but I’ve talked to a few of my consultants at work and they all think the same way 

Your case is  complicated by the ED because that is painful in itself. Fibromyalgia is a completely different entity though and should be treated separately with mind based treatments such as talking therapy, Journaling, meditation, somatic tracking and also gentle exercise 

Onebrokelady

far_to_go said:

Hello Onebrokelady. Longtime lurker here. I’ve read both of your diaries and your entry on March 25th made me sad, especially...

 

“doctors don’t listen to me so I don’t bother trying to make an appointment,  I’m too tired to try to explain it to them.”

 

I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be to feel like no one is listening when you just need help with your pain.

I just wondered if any of your doctors had ever suggested that you may have a gluten allergy or intolerance. A cousin has been diagnosed as coeliac and also with fibro and was told they often go together.  Perhaps you already knew this, but maybe you didn’t. If you google thrivingwithceliac ( an American site) then click on images it brings up a list of possible health issues. You have already mentioned some of them on your diaries. With your medical background I may be telling you something you already know, in which case I apologise.

Maybe you have already tried a gluten free diet and it didn’t make any difference for you. If so, sorry I can’t help further. Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and wishing you well.

Hi thanks for the info. I did in fact try a gluten free diet but sadly it didn’t help. I think a healthy diet is helpful of you have a long term health problem though, I mean it’s best to try to be as healthy as possible  so good healthy food is important. I’m also just starting to read about the gut microbiome and how it effects the body if the bacteria in your gut are out of balance. 

Onebrokelady

daisy_1571 said:

I was going to suggest similar to cranky40.  

IDon't get put off by the following  - work it through and hopefully it will make sense.  The end result will be to automate as much as possible to keep life as simple as possible. 

As I understand it, you are trying to work out how to smooth out irregular dated incomes with normal monthly outgoings. 

Heres what I would do  -----

Any income goes into bank account 1.

Get a bit paper or an excel spreadsheet.   Add your various incomes up to get annual amounts for any income.  Divide by 12.  Thats your monthly income. 

Note down all your monthly and annual bills.  For annual costs, divide by 12.  Add up these twelfths and the monthly amounts.  I'm going to call this totalled figure "twelfth".   Hopefully that total is well below your monthly income.   Arrange all your monthly and annual bills to come from bank account 2.  Arrange a monthly standing order from bank account 1 to bank account 2 of the 'twelfth' figure.   Over the year you should be building up an excess in this account as you are saving a twelfth of your annual bills ready to pay them when they are due.  Other than keeping an eye on this account it should chunter away itself.  

The balance of your monthly income amount:- This will have to cover your general day to day spending ie food shopping, petrol etc.  Multiply this figure by 12 and divide by 52.  Arrange a weekly standing order from bank account 1 to bank account 3 for this amount (or smaller if thats all you need).   This means you get a fresh weekly amount to pay for the things you class as weekly - no more waiting on the end of the month!  This was life changing for us and ive been using an account like this for about 15 years.

You might also want bank account 4.  This would be where you send a monthly amount as pocket money, fun money, discretionary money, however you want to class it.  This is your money for fun, fripperies etc, however you class them.  An item of clothing you fancy but don't really 'need', a magazine,  afternoon tea or lunch out.  Whatever makes sense to you. 




Its obviously up to you where individual bills and categories go.  In our twelfth account we save a twelfth of amounts we have a rough idea of the cost ie car tax, insurances but also a twelfth of estimated annual figures categories such as 'presents' (xmas/birthdays/plus an extra amount for stuff like house warming/new babies etc), holidays, vehicle servicing.   These require a bit tweaking from time to time as costs change.

In your first year you will either need to divide certain costs by the remaining months to renewal ie if your house insurance is due in 3 months you will need to save more each month to have the full amount ready by 3 months time.  Or you will need to add a booster amount into account  from your savings.  But after that it will work.  

If you are able to satisfy your bills, your weekly outgoings, your discretionary spending etc from a figure less than your calculated monthly income over the year you won't be using any of your savings to pay your calculated monthly income over to bank accounts 2, 3 and 4.  The balance will be remaining in bank account 1, topping your savings back up to where they were before you took some out to start fund account 2 and in the initial few months when you might be removing the monthly amount before your various incomes have started covering and balancing out.  

I hope this makes sense but if I've written something confusing,  just ask.  Or obviously,  just ignore if this doesn't seem to help your issues.

Daisy xx

Hi Daisy and thankyou for the info but I am sorry my brain kind of exploded halfway through reading it 😀I don’t mean to be disrespectful and I’m really grateful you took the time to post it but my levels of concentration wouldn’t cope with this amount of info