Buying a little piece of Middle England; Manifesting my way to mortgage free.

debtfreewannabe321

Okay, washing up done, showered and dressed and ready to go out. I'm off for a catch up with my cousin and her mum...I haven't seen my aunty since my granddad's funeral (my mum and aunty's dad) so this will be surreal seeing them in my part of the world rather than me going to them in London. We're meeting at a coffee shop about an hour before I need to be in work so I don't have a lot of time to spend catching up but that's probably good tbh just in case it's awkward in any way. Aunty doesn't speak with my mum anymore either. Mum has pretty much hermitted away from everyone. I've already had a couple of catch ups with my cousin.

I did the x-ray referral and if I don't hear back I'm taking myself off there next week to just sit and wait. If I can get the all clear that there is no fracture I'm booking in with my chiropractor. Totally had enough of this hobbling about nonsense now. It's no wonder I'm putting on weight every time I weigh myself. I barely move these days 🙈 (well compared to before - remember the days where I was doing 20k steps. I barely manage 6k a day now and the pain is getting to be unbearable anything over that).

Need to pop to shops later for a couple of bits I always forget on my weekly shop - soap and washing up liquid! I always forget to check these sorts of things when doing my list. And we've run out of both and nearly out of toilet paper so will get that too. DD has gone to the library. Right near where I'm meeting cousin and aunty soon so might message her see if she wants to join us. 

Right I'll be off, put my face on and find some comfy trainers ☺️.

debtfreewannabe321

Had a nice time with my cousin and aunty. Was so weird seeing aunty after so long, she looks old and drained ...in my mind I still see her as my age now and full of life so strange to see her looking quite frail. Was a lovely catch up though.
Went to work and had a fab time on the course and got to take Away some bits I made (bath bits) was a really fun afternoon and I knew two people on it.  I've also booked an appointment in at the clinic (was at an alt therapy clinic) which I'm looking forward to in a month (had to fit it in around work so have to wait ages, meh!) 

Popped to MrT got some bits and also bought some work trousers. So definitely not a nsd. 
Got pie and mash for dinner haven't had it in ages. No liquor though 😆 (I think talking to someone about pie mash and liquor has set me off on wanting it ...makes me think of happy times in my childhood sat in pie shops 😁). We'll have gravy instead and some carrots and broccoli to even out all the salt overload 🙈.

Bananabreadyum

Really glad you had a fun time at work today. 
In a previous job( I feel like I've tried so many things!!) I used to mage soap and bath bombs / and melts and lip balm. Using pure essential oils - loved making blends!

Nice to hear you meet with your cousin and auntie, I know you miss seeing you family, so this is special xx

debtfreewannabe321

Bananabreadyum said:

Really glad you had a fun time at work today. 
In a previous job( I feel like I've tried so many things!!) I used to mage soap and bath bombs / and melts and lip balm. Using pure essential oils - loved making blends!

Nice to hear you meet with your cousin and auntie, I know you miss seeing you family, so this is special xx

In a previous job I also made these! 🤣😁
I still have some of the bits around the house actually for the bath bombs. I should look for it all, they make great presents at Christmas in little hampers, making all these little bits 😁 

Bananabreadyum

Yey! That's so cool!! 😍😍
You must have been better at it than me! My bath bombs akways used to go pifff into dust, I had great trouble making them stick and stay stuck when they dried! 

Watty1

I think little home made bits like bath bombs are lovely. One of the nicest gifts I have had in recent years was homemade bath salts with rose petals, I loved them.

daisy_1571

Glad you had a good time with your family, hope you are able to see them a bit more regularly.   Making afternoon sounds good, its good for the soul to create things

Dxxx

debtfreewannabe321

Morning all ☺️
@Bananabreadyum I used to put less of the things like rose petals in after a few failures. They were too dry for it to stay stuck together and I'd use more essential oils or other 'wet' ingredients. I'd still have the odd failure though and that would go in the pile for us to use in the house 🤣. 
@Watty1 I'm actually debating spending a bit of money on ingredients to make some for friends and family as I had such great fun making them.
@daisy_1571 thank you, I hope to see them a bit more regularly but our county is big and we are still over an hour away from them here so they tend to go to another city that's closer to them for most things. 

DD came home yesterday and had fed herself whilst out, ventured into a pub with her friend for a cheap meal deal thing (soft drinks not beer with it 🤣). She told me she'd seen my sister (the one who was speaking to me up until recently), and her partner out and about. Sis partner is the one who had cancer and was in ICU after a bodged surgery and really quite poorly for some time in a coma (long time readers might remember me driving over after work/ on days off to see sister, bring her food, do shopping, run her to hospital and then I spent weeks going through their hoard in her house so that he could fit back in with crutches and a mobility scooter). The cancer seemed to go into remission and then obviously sis stopped messaging me. DD saw them out yesterday and said bro In law looked grey, he was on his mobility scooter again and had come out of chemo ...he's back on treatment and it's spread to his liver now. So I'm wondering at this point if this is why she's stopped talking to me. When she needs someone, instead of reaching out she just shuts down. But not sure, she's obviously not stopped talking to mum and other sis so perhaps it's not that. 
Anyway it made me feel guilty because I felt maybe I should have been the one doing all the reaching out and keeping contact, but I've always had to do it and honestly I've had enough of being the one keeping the strings attached.

--- 
Today, we are venturing to the gym, both have colds so we won't push ourselves too much. Then we will go to the steam room again and try to shift it off our chests. I've ordered a tincture I used to use for my asthma / and chest infections / coughs etc and once it arrives I'll start taking that in the hope to stop this stupid annoying cough that keeps coming out of nowhere. 
I'm making a ratatouille for dinner and I think we'll stay in and watch some TV with blankets and tissues and lemon and honey drinks ... rock and roll 🤣. 

redofromstart

If I was you I would just drop a message saying something like 'DD had mentioned seeing you, please do let me know if I can do anything to help' , avoiding any mention of past issues or emotion and then leave the ball firmly in her court.  I personally am guilty of tunnel vision and micro focus when things go very wrong which leads to to some poor decision making and shutting out of people who do matter to me.  What I have found is now that my head is back in the right space and I have contacted old friends the fairly universal response has been 'how lovely to hear from you, I heard what happened, I should have got in touch but I didn't know what to say'.  To be fair they probably wouldn't have got much of a response but I would have appreciated any message and I took real comfort from the people who did message me.  It was harder for me to get in touch when I was ready not knowing the reception I was going to get, and if I would need to explain the situation.

debtfreewannabe321

Thanks @redofromstart for your thoughts, I had a similar line of thought but haven't acted on it yet. I'm loathe to offer help and support because Invariably I'm used and used until I'm not needed without a thank you even and it's really starting to wear thin on me. I should think it's the main reason why I stopped being the one to always reach out to everyone, it's draining being the one holding up relationships. But I think I will send a message and send my love or something along those lines. 

We ended up going out this afternoon, the car needed a good run as it's only done very short trips the last month and the engine was making very loud noises which DP said was because of a filter or something that needed to be cleared with a longer journey. Ah I've probably said that all wrong but whatever 🫣🤣 so we went out and ended up at a nice small market town, one I lived in about thirty years ago for around a year or so and always remember it fondly. I go here quite a bit for DD orthodontist but we tend to be in and out quite quickly whereas today we had a lovely stroll round and took our time, had mushy peas and chips for lunch (not much choice in the way of veggie options). It was a nice day but my knee and foot are paying for it. Ughh. 

DD had to find her own way home from work today as we didn't make it back in time, omg, what a palava 🤣 she rang me, the phone cut out, I was literally in the middle of nowhere as we drove home, I managed to get hold of her a few minutes later and she was panicking. I'd sent very clear instructions, go to bus station, find this bay, get on this bus number. Say the road name you need to get off at. Press the bell. But apparently I hadn't told her how to pay 🙈 she's used to getting trains to be fair to her but any time we've ever got a bus in the past I've always paid and sorted it. So she was panicking as she didn't know where to buy bus tickets! So once I told her it was okay she didn't know and it's fine, we all have to learn...get on bus and ask, and then pay, she did seem to be ok 🤣. Bless her. 17 and she can now use a bus independently 🙈🫣 I am sure I was riding on buses at 13/14 independently from towns to cities over an hour away but I've clearly spoilt her 🤭. Hopefully she might be a little more independent about getting back from work now, she wasn't impressed with the price though so probably not. 🤣
Tomorrow I am having a bit of a rest day, very sore and tired after gym (then we have a small swim and steam room session) then walking around... nearly 5000 steps which was too much for my poorly foot. Hot water bottle and a book tomorrow I think ☺️ good way to kick off my holiday rest. 
Not a NSD bought some pretty plates in a charity shop and paid for lunch/ dinner out. Found free parking though so saved £7 there!