Buying a little piece of Middle England; Manifesting my way to mortgage free.

Watty1

I think your ex and mine could be "besties"  (sigh).  Ah well.

Lovely positive post from training though, it made me feel quite emotional because, like you, the online community is really important to me too and has helped me in a way real life people have not.

debtfreewannabe321

Watty1 said:

I think your ex and mine could be "besties"  (sigh).  Ah well.

Lovely positive post from training though, it made me feel quite emotional because, like you, the online community is really important to me too and has helped me in a way real life people have not.

It's so sad there are so many of these people around and once they've destroyed one person they'll happily move onto another victim...🤦🏻‍♀️☹️.

I was sat there for ages and ages trying to think of RL people and then I just thought no, I don't go there first I come for a rant on my diary or to pour my feelings out in a 'safe' anon place as I know RL friends are often so overwhelmed in their own lives they don't want to take on my stuff too but are too polite to say get lost. 😆

debtfreewannabe321

I've got aqua aerobics booked in. I'm going to sit in the steam room and sauna after. I've given my cold to DP 🙈 I did tell him to keep away but he didn't 🤣. 
We're both full of it, coughing and sneezing and blowing our nose and it feels quite chesty this one too. We've both been passed out in bed by 10 most nights this week too. That's early for us. 

I'm going through the budget, as I do just before I get paid, and trying to work out what needs paying. I will clear the n3xt account in November. But pay minimum to the catalogue until after Christmas (I've already got it down around £200 anyway). I'm also pausing my OPs to the mortgage as I have reached my (small 1% of the mortgage paid off) goal. We need to put the extra cash into sorting the last few bits out in the kitchen/ old kitchen asap whilst we have a plumber willing to do the odd few small jobs. So any spare cash will go into household project for the next couple of months.
AND...if (big if) CMS set up payments in time, any money that comes from ex will go towards the OPs towards my next goal (perhaps 2% of the mortgage 🤔 hmm not sure but anyway it's all an IF at the mo). I said to DP I don't want his money in the budget. So if it comes in it will go straight back out on the OPs. So for now my standing order has been paused so I can pay the plumber...but I might still be making payments manually. I guess it's a game of we'll wait and see. 

I've ordered DS1 matching pjs so all I really need to do is go to a cheap shop after payday and get cheapy stocking fillers and a book each and also I wanted to get DS some new aftershave. I usually get him some and wanted something different to what I usually get as I think that fragrance is now probably associated with his ex 😬 so I'll have a bit of a research on what is similar but different. Then aside from food I am prepared 😁 I have even wrapped half the presents already. Go me! 
Right off to do a bit of dancing in the swimming pool and sit and steam room this cold off me. 

beanielou

I haven’t bought one present. At the moment I just don’t care. 🤷‍♀️ 

daisy_1571

lol, his money is literally paying your mortgage 😆 🤣 😂 

(It seems decidedly odd that he pays you something and you pay him something.   Surely the easiest is Mark is due Debbie £25, Debbie is due Mark £35 therefore the csa adds it up on their calculator and the letters go out to each if you with the bottom line of 'Debbie: pay Mark a tenner every month' )

Can understand why you don't want his money to be part of your normal day to day.



Re the online:  yes its open to misunderstanding as without the sardonic eye roll, or emphasis on this word or that word the written communication is sometimes read quite easily in a way that was never meant if people were talking but (hypothetical reasoning coming up 'you' doesn't mean 'you' and its not 'your' actual family friends- I'm generalising) if you talk to your mum you'll tell her one thing and get a viewpoint from her understanding of what you said filtered through her personal relationship with you and her life experiences.   Tell the same thing to your brother, its bound to be told slightly differently then same issues as mum.  By the time you've told it to your friend, 3 people at work and the delivery man there's various versions, some complete, some with extras, some missing quite a lot and all of them, like mum and bro, give you their filtered opinions.   Theres a chance your family have similar views/upbringing, there's a chance colleagues or friends that you'd confide in have similar standpoints. 

Here, you say it once, people read the same story.  You'll likely get a wider variety of people reading as our only commonality is we post on a money saving site but beyond that I don't know those things about you that I'd assume if I met you in real life.  We don't really know ethnicity, age, poor/rich, annoyingly whiny accent, dolled up to the nines/stig of the dump, able bodied or not etc etc.  (I always remember a sentence I saw somewhere many years ago - on the Internet nobody knows you're a cat!  We could all be well read cats lol).  So those that post suggestions back are likely to give a wider variety of responses but generally (on these dfw and mfw pages at least) there's kindness, caring, thoughtful posts which are great so in a sense we know loads of deeper stuff about people whose diaries we've read for a while. 

In an effort of full disclosure I worry sometimes that I have a more blokey-type tendency to read something, think 'PROBLEM!! Must find practical solution' and jump in with 'just do this, this and this and you'll be sorted!'  This can be tempered in real life but hopefully its not too bad on here too.  I hope I express sympathy and empathy as I do feel it    

I also feel like people on here are friends even though I've only met 2 in real life, its a genuine support and a supportive place

D xxx

debtfreewannabe321

beanielou said:

I haven’t bought one present. At the moment I just don’t care. 🤷‍♀️ 

Hugs beanie. Honestly I feel the same way and I've cried too many times over it. It's kind of why I just want it done so I don't need to give it another thought. 🫂♥️

debtfreewannabe321

daisy_1571 said:

lol, his money is literally paying your mortgage 😆 🤣 😂 

(It seems decidedly odd that he pays you something and you pay him something.   Surely the easiest is Mark is due Debbie £25, Debbie is due Mark £35 therefore the csa adds it up on their calculator and the letters go out to each if you with the bottom line of 'Debbie: pay Mark a tenner every month' )

Can understand why you don't want his money to be part of your normal day to day.



Re the online:  yes its open to misunderstanding as without the sardonic eye roll, or emphasis on this word or that word the written communication is sometimes read quite easily in a way that was never meant if people were talking but (hypothetical reasoning coming up 'you' doesn't mean 'you' and its not 'your' actual family friends- I'm generalising) if you talk to your mum you'll tell her one thing and get a viewpoint from her understanding of what you said filtered through her personal relationship with you and her life experiences.   Tell the same thing to your brother, its bound to be told slightly differently then same issues as mum.  By the time you've told it to your friend, 3 people at work and the delivery man there's various versions, some complete, some with extras, some missing quite a lot and all of them, like mum and bro, give you their filtered opinions.   Theres a chance your family have similar views/upbringing, there's a chance colleagues or friends that you'd confide in have similar standpoints. 

Here, you say it once, people read the same story.  You'll likely get a wider variety of people reading as our only commonality is we post on a money saving site but beyond that I don't know those things about you that I'd assume if I met you in real life.  We don't really know ethnicity, age, poor/rich, annoyingly whiny accent, dolled up to the nines/stig of the dump, able bodied or not etc etc.  (I always remember a sentence I saw somewhere many years ago - on the Internet nobody knows you're a cat!  We could all be well read cats lol).  So those that post suggestions back are likely to give a wider variety of responses but generally (on these dfw and mfw pages at least) there's kindness, caring, thoughtful posts which are great so in a sense we know loads of deeper stuff about people whose diaries we've read for a while. 

In an effort of full disclosure I worry sometimes that I have a more blokey-type tendency to read something, think 'PROBLEM!! Must find practical solution' and jump in with 'just do this, this and this and you'll be sorted!'  This can be tempered in real life but hopefully its not too bad on here too.  I hope I express sympathy and empathy as I do feel it    

I also feel like people on here are friends even though I've only met 2 in real life, its a genuine support and a supportive place

D xxx

Lovely response and very well put. I've not met anyone in RL on here, however I have one friend from my DFW days whom I still speak to and has become like a beat friend, we've video chatted, always message one another and have seen each others children grow up. And she knows more about me than family and some RL friends because she's read my innermost thoughts on here. I've also got another person from this diary whom has contacted me lots and I would consider us good friends now too 🥰 it is a great place to find like minded people but also those, like you say from all walks of life who can give differing perspective and opinions which I really do need/ want sometimes..I always think your posts come across as caring and empathetic Daisy 🥰♥️.

Oh and edited to add-

(It seems decidedly odd that he pays you something and you pay him something. Surely the easiest is Mark is due Debbie £25, Debbie is due Mark £35 therefore the csa adds it up on their calculator and the letters go out to each if you with the bottom line of 'Debbie: pay Mark a tenner every month' )
 
Yes!! Totally agree!! I messaged him and said let's just call the owed money a write off and you going forward pay me £360 a month. He argued the toss and said nope which is why I gave up arguing with him and just said fine we'll go through CSA. He really was just being argumentative for the sake of it! And I offered to write off a grand in debt??? Idiot.

debtfreewannabe321

Aqua aerobics was quite hard today! They made us work for a change it's usually quite fun and easy 🥵 had a nice chat with some ladies whilst we sauna'd (is that a word ...it is now 🤭) and I went home and showered in time for DD to get herself up and ready.

DD and I had a lovely afternoon together. Cinema was good. I hadn't realised when I booked it it was an 18! She's obviously 17 🤭 it's only when we got in there and the big screen comes up with the age rating on the title page that I was like oooomg we're so naughty 😉😆. She thought it was great and I thought about how many I used to sneak into years ago and no one cared then 🤣. Also they never age check when you're with your mum we've worked out. Lol. The first time I took her to a 15 we brought ID and they never asked for it. Same the second time and with DS! 

We went to primarni afterwards as I needed new underwear as did DP and I wanted a couple of new jumpers. I must have tried them all on and too long, too short, too itchy, too tight, too small 🥱 omg we were getting bored, I felt like Goldilocks. I chose one that was okay and put the rest back..we walked past new look and DD suggested there and they have 25% off knitwear on! Fab! So I found two I actually really liked there. With 25% off they were £23.98 for two! And I bought a voucher via JD for another 7.5% CB. £1.56 CB 😁 I think I did really well there. I may even take back the primarni one tomorrow and go get another new look one in a different colour. 

DD has a work meeting later so she is eating her dinner early. She said she had spoken to dad about her brother (DS2) and asked about the blood tests and he was super cagey...her words...she asked if he was low in vitamins or something and he said no they were perfect 🤨 so unsure what is wrong she couldn't get any more info on him
... 
I know DP and I have had our bloods done as fully plant based and both came back perfect (aside from my hormones because of meno) and I have a feeling ex is angling at us making DS sick from our diet. I know him. We had this argument when we were together and I was veggie he told me I'd be dead in ten years 🥱 ooops sorry to say ex I'm still here. I remember my father also said the same 😆 funny how unknowledgeable some people are on good nutrition. But anyway yes that, I think, is his angle for taking DS to the docs in the first place to make me out to be neglectful. DS is tired because he sits looking at his phone all night and exercises too hard, doesn't eat enough of the good food offered to him and drinks energy drinks like they're going out of fashion and vapes. Perhaps ex twit should look at these factors first.
Sorry. Okay rant over.
Moving on.

Work tomorrow. Not much to do to be honest so I'm tempted to go in, show my face, disappear to a corner somewhere with a book and a hot drink and do my time in peace and quiet. Nearly there then I get my week off!
DP also has next week off so we have decided to finish destroying the old kitchen and try and figure out how best to board off that area until we're ready to build the new areas. It is looking like a really nice size now the units are out. Well a nice size for what we want it for it's certainly not big enough for another room 😆. A utility area for WM and TD and some shelves should fit nicely one one end and a small shower room should fit next to it. I will be so happy when we get a downstairs loo in place ♥️. However we've no money at the mo to do this ...I am on the hunt for cheap shower parts, tiles and other bits though to do this on a small budget. The walls behind the old kitchen are just brick. There is no plasterboard or even plaster anywhere. It isn't any wonder it was so cold over in that area. 🥶

daisy_1571

Aw thanks dfw xxxxx


Dxxx

Bananabreadyum

Just been catching up on your diary dfw, 
With the maintenance money I would be sorely tempted to save it in a seperate pot for a holiday!! . What joy you could have knowing he paid for a holiday for you DP and DD!!