Buying a little piece of Middle England; Manifesting my way to mortgage free.

debtfreewannabe321

Evening all, 
Thank you so much @ruby_eskimo @ladybird1106 @beanielou @Watty1 @Bananabreadyum @daisy_1571 @sunshineli appreciate the messages ♥️ and thank you @KajiKita too as that's really helpful. I had already told DP to update his CV as a just in case because it would prompt him to think about everything he's achieved in the current role so if he has to reapply (likely) he has to hand all he's achieved which was a lot. I forgot about LinkedIn so will remind him to do that too. He has a lot of contacts on there from the last time he was job hunting. He got very friendly with the recruitment team somewhere or other too and they brought him lots of good roles to apply for. His last interview was only last year and that was a big two or three stage process so hopefully he'll be well versed for new opportunities. 
He has a lot of experience in his field so we're hoping he will be retained.

It's been a massive blow to the team as they thought they were relatively safe and yet it seems many of the managers also need to go through this consultancy to see whether or not they're pulling their weight (that's the way I heard it anyway I'm sure they'd describe it in a more PC way). DP was trying to keep his emotions in tact but I could see he was upset by the news. If anything we'd expected a promotion because of everything he's done for the company in the last year. But at the end of the day all any of us are is numbers in a system to those at the top. They care about the £$ numbers and that's about it. 

This scare has prompted me to apply for another job in the college too- I'm not sure if I'm even qualified for it but thought it was worth a go, it's full time but not in a classroom so I felt it may suit better. I'm also looking everywhere else for a different job. I'm not happy in my current one so would love a new one where my skillset is used rather than ignored and where I get paid more. So it has been a useful wake up I think.
DP is also looking at a self employed option for himself as a side hustle/ possible main job if this current one goes south. 
He loves his job but It is stressful and when I asked about job satisfaction it seems that is quite lacking to be honest. So perhaps this is what we needed. 

Today we went to the gym for a couple of hours, gym, swim then sauna and steam room. I'd like to know how long it takes for your body to start tightening up. 🤔 I'm getting impatient 🫣. I then visited a friend after lunch as she was on hols this week too. She's loving her new job which made me think I definitely need a new one, you can be happy in a job.... I left dp at home drilling through external walls 😬. The plumber has done what most trades these days seem to do...fallen off the planet into oblivion never to be heard from again. So DP spurred on by a need to retain the EF now and save some money he's started the big jobs of making holes ... tomorrow he intends on cutting through the soil pipe to couple it up to a new one (I'm prob saying this all wrong don't shout at me plumbers 😆) so that the sink, dish washer and new shower room have an outlet. 😬 He's a tad nervous which makes me nervous too. Thankfully I have a class in the morning at the gym, and then I will shower there and take DD to her orthodontist appointment... maybe leaving early so DP has an empty house to do it all as apparently we can't use the toilet while he does it 😆😆. It would be fabulous if I can report back here by the end of the week with all pipes laid, drainage sorted and a working DW and sink! All for the grand price of nothing 😁🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻....
With the uncertainty we will use ex-twits money, if it comes in, to put in the EF instead of the OPs as a buffer should we need it. Apparently we have income protection for DP which he thinks is three months wages 🤞🏻 so we should be fine. But honestly the timing couldn't be worse right before Christmas could it. 
Been trying to balance my thoughts (negative) with positives-

DP can get another job he is very resourceful.
We hopefully have money that will pay out on insurance should we need it.
DP bonus is not affected.
It's made both of us wake up from complacency.
DP is doing the plumbing saving us hundreds of pounds (we still need plumber to do the boiler service though). 
At the moment I feel relatively calm about it all....(Subject to change though as is usual for me 😁😆).

debtfreewannabe321

This morning I'm off to aqua aerobics. Then I intend to drive across town to see if I can get a better fitted swimming costume as the one I had (cheapy from big river company) has stretched and gone bobbly and thin already 🤨. Not impressed. So will see if I can find one elsewhere. Very conscious of spending money now but I do use it 2-3 times a week. 
DP has offered to take DD to orthodontist and let her drive him there! So I don't have much to do now 😁.

debtfreewannabe321

Afternoon all, had fun at aqua aerobics this morning and then headed over to the bra shop I use. No swim suits in my size ☹️ I bought a new bra and a sports one instead...not sure what I will do for swim suit. The one I have is not suitable for much longer. 🤔 I might have to drive over to a bra^issimo shop and see if they have anything. 

DD was going to the orthodontist with DP but they wanted my phone for the sat nav as mine is android and will connect to the car, their iPhone doesn't work on it. So I said I would go too, and sat in the back like a good passenger 🫣 I was a little nervy though as DD seems to like to use the brakes hard and fast right at the last minute rather than easing into a stop. My heart couldn't take it after about the fifth time and I did have a little Eeeeeek moment where DD then started to get upset with me for being a bad passenger. I spoke to her once we got there and said I thought she did a great job however learning to brake a little earlier might save my heart and her brake pads 🤣. She was much better on the way home, right up until we got onto the driveway when I thought she was going to smash into the bay window and shrieked again 🤣🙈. It has been decided that mum is not a good instructor and doesn't have the nerve for it. So DP will continue with that 🤣🙈.

We've moved money around, I've cleared off the n3xt account, and also anything outstanding on the cc and paid the gas and electric bill as well as a couple of other small ones I do manually. The rest of the bills money is in the right account, as is the grocery money. I put groceries up to £550 for three of us this month. I was struggling to make the £500 last all month. There isn't a lot of money left as I've already spent on bras, some clothes and Xmas presents this month before the month has even started 🙈. 
Tonight we are having an Indian takeaway though, we've been very good and we've got starter, main, rice all to share so it's only just over £20. DD ordered her own pizza and paid for it herself which was nice (she got paid today and has more money than we do now we've allocated it all to bills!) 

DP has hit a stumbling block on the plumbing so he's abandoned it for the day, he's having trouble coupling up pipes because of lack of space to move it into the right spots and connect it. I'm hoping a solution comes to him because I'd love to finally have the DW working.... 🤞🏻.
Ex is coming over to see dd tomorrow. I messaged DS to see if he would like to come see me but no response as was expected. It's been almost three months since I last heard from him ☹️. 

daisy_1571

If u have to speak to him - pleasant but non committal to any of his questions about your life.   A passing 'oh I'm so glad ds is happy at yours just now.  All anyone wants as a parent is for a child to be happy' or some such  vague statement fulfills you asked about him so he can't say you didn't,  but doesn't give exidiot any satisfaction of you asking questions he can avoid, side step or give a half answer that while 'technically' true leaves out lots of context and will just leave you wondering with more questions than answers

Good luck

Dxx

dawnybabes

Aww hope he comes.

for cossie - im of the well endowed tribe, I’ve bought my last 2 cossies / bikinis off vinted 

debtfreewannabe321

Thank you @daisy_1571 & @dawnybabes I intend to not even go to the door with DD 🙈. She's old enough to get herself out to meet her dad. When he arrives though, she will have been expecting him, she takes forever to get her shoes and coat and leave. And tells me off if I rush her. So I know she won't be ready when he comes, which is usually when I would stand marshalling the door. The last few times though I've not always been there and ex has never come in so I'm going to wake her up in a bit and tell her to be ready so he's not hovering over my threshold nosing in. 

Today we were going to go out but I think it will be a catch up on jobs in the house day instead. I want DP to finish the plumbing and a solution seems to have come to him so will let him get on with that. I'll wash, iron, hoover and see if I can get some surveys.

I'm having mild anxiety about the job I applied for. Even if I got an interview (not sure that's even likely) and got the job (more unlikely) I'm not sure I want it. I think I applied out of a panicked desperation that DP might lose his job and I won't have enough coming in to pay the bills 🙈. I'm kind of hoping now they just ignore my application.
So anyway I have been looking at other jobs and there are a few I might look at today to see if suitable for me. DP is feeling like this is a bit of a shake up for him too with job on the line, and he's circled back round to a self employed option in a completely new area for him but one that he could train in and then have greater control over his day to day. Including controlling stress .... I think his current job is very stressful and the pile of jobs is never ending (which makes me think they will keep him on because he's the only one of him in his organisation)...and I want a happy, healthy, long-living DP not one who will burn out quickly because of stress so perhaps this has all happened for a reason. It's crazy how quickly your whole life can be shaken from the root upward when someone else controls you, your income and your stability with the click of a finger. 

Right off to wake DD up as I know she said her dad was coming early-ish today to take her out. Am hoping he's actually taking her out for the day rather than his usual of taking them to the pub for dinner then home again. 

debtfreewannabe321

dawnybabes said:

Aww hope he comes.

for cossie - im of the well endowed tribe, I’ve bought my last 2 cossies / bikinis off vinted 

I don't know what size to get from v+nted as I did look on there. Well, actually that's not true now as I got re-measured yesterday so could have a look based off that! 

debtfreewannabe321

@dawnybabes I found a two piece tankini in my size! I've bought it -£92 cheaper than the one the lady was trying to get to fit me yesterday (but was too tight I spilled out everywhere ☹️)....fingers crossed for me it fits. I've also put a bid in on another one in same size but a one piece which I think I'd rather. However if both fitted that would be amazing as I tried on a dozen yesterday and nothing worked 🙈🤣. Thanks for reminding me to look there 😄

ladybird1106

My OH is in the same position as DP. He’s seen it as a way of going back to doing something that he loves and needed this as a reality check. He’s said he really doesn’t enjoy what he’s doing at the moment, but is paid really well. Strange how the mind and universe works. Me on the other hand I’m panicking slightly as I’m the one who balances the books but is also OH cheerleader😁. 

Hope today is a good day 
love 🐞

debtfreewannabe321

ladybird1106 said:

My OH is in the same position as DP. He’s seen it as a way of going back to doing something that he loves and needed this as a reality check. He’s said he really doesn’t enjoy what he’s doing at the moment, but is paid really well. Strange how the mind and universe works. Me on the other hand I’m panicking slightly as I’m the one who balances the books but is also OH cheerleader😁. 

Hope today is a good day 
love 🐞

Omg we are in exactly the same situation then because I feel what you do and DP doesn't really think about how will we eat/ pay bills 🙈🤨 lol
The retraining he wants to do will probably take 6-12 months and also cost us so it's something else to factor in but like you I want to cheerlead him to something that he loves. We all spend far too much of our lives at work so we need to enjoy it 🫂😊 @ladybird1106