Watty's Awakening

Watty1

Interesting about atmospheric pressure @Cherryfudge    Years ago I broke an arm and that joint feels sore in certain weather conditions so it does make sense.  

Charming Cob is the horse everyone should have, just ideal. It is such a shame that all the dramas with my ex prevented me from really enjoying him as much as I could have but our plans are to make up for that this year.

Watty1

I absolutely love this forum.  I've been reading a bit this morning and one comment has really made me wince along the lines of clutter was once money.    I have a car full of "stuff" to donate to the local charity shop, all very nice saleable stuff, but yes it was all once money.  I suppose the key is simply to just not buy stuff anymore.

And then @debtfreewannabe321 thread the chat about manifestation and my late evening mantra was "dream believe receive"  It is my morning mantra too.      Those three words have lifted my mood beyond anything I would have thought possible.   I've dusted off my gratitude notebook and begun to look at just how far I have to come and how much I am grateful for.   Now this won't surprise some of you (but it does me) not only has my mood improved but my desk is becoming tidier and I am achieving small wins (parcels are packed and ready for collection, emails are answered, invoices chased). 

LadyWithAPlan

Well done on your mind switch - my apartment is definitely full of stuff! No time to sort as off travelling again but when I get home it’s going to be minimalist war - think the excess stuff  is low lying energy suckers 

I have had jeans repaired (£22) and a new zip in a dress I love £25 though it’s not done great and am about to spend £30 hopefully fixing a strap on a favourite expensive handbag - off to see a metal man today so investing in long term use at present - really want to only buy high quality long term use stuff 

I did buy a new to me autumn weight dress in my favourite European charity shop / 5 euros! And really good fabric and designed - so I will put two others on Vinted to compensate !

Watty1

1st June.  Time to get some focus and report some progress.

I started the year with lots of ifs and maybes and very little in the way of actual money and a house that was very tired and in need of renovations..

So progress report

The house:   I like the way the house is looking, it is feeling more "mine" now.  Curtains, carpets and rugs still to be purchased but in the main I feel it is coming together.   The garden has gone to the wild side this year except the one border I did last year.  If It stopped raining there might be further progress but for now the focus is on the inside.   Two bedrooms still to be decorated and one of those to have a bed but that is waiting on just finishing up the current rooms and the decorator getting back here (it might be a while as she is working on a block of flats).

The horses:  Most Handsome and I are learning to have fun.  My confidence is fairly low with him which I think is a result of having ridden him so much with the ex around sniping.    To improve this I am dusting off an NLP course I did a few years ago and will start the lessons on that today.  (It was a confidence and mental strength course that was fabulous, it helped me face up to my relationship with the ex and finally leave so worth doing again I feel).  Charming Cob has a sick note from the vet but physio here later and his new "joint supplement" arrives Monday.  Young Fell Pony remains as every, a lovely addition to the family even if he does very little

The "What Ifs and Maybes"   I have begun to explore the possibility of selling the business.  I am exhausted.  If the valuations are correct and I can achieve that then I can get a part time job to see me through until retirement.    With the election called there is little chance of planning law changing so I will dust off the files and chat with the planning consultant about the barn this month.  The relationship with the VNM is good.  I feel blessed.  

The finances:  There is enough in the house savings account to pay the house bills for 4 months.  This is very good indeed.  I have money for my tax bill and to clear my credit card.  This is also very good.   

What for the next six months:  Well finish the house and garden, explore the "what ifs and maybes" some more and rebuild the saving pot.   I would ideally like a years full expenses (not just the house bills) for one year in savings to feel "secure".  

Watty1

June plans:

- start on the three month NLP course which means studying every day
- sell the course I have written for the beta test version
- start using the slow cooker to save both time and money. I have a meal plan for the next week all done
- continue to declutter. I am finding I can be tidy and more relaxed in my mind with less stuff.

Cherryfudge

This is so impressive - from having a business that's going so well you could consider selling, right down to having the meals planned for next week. 

KajiKita

You have come a very long way in just six months 😊
Glad there is so much joy in your life now 😊

KK

Watty1

Thank you @Cherryfudge and @KajiKita It was good to go back to the start of the diary and read where I was and then see just how far I have come.    My plans, hopes and dreams were ambitious.

I still feel I can easily be derailed. The physio treated the Charming Cob and we chatted about the vets visit and the blood tests and I will take him in to the surgery for investigations although I think she has isolated the joint that is an issue for him.   She is going to write a report for the vet.

As I returned to the house I found myself wondering what time Mr Watty would be back from work and there was such a powerful feeling of he is still here that I have really struggled to do anything today. I know that part of my life is gone but it was a shock just how the memory made me feel I was still in those times.  

daisy_1571

All sounding good. 

Perhaps looking back to the start of the diary subconsciously put you back there?

Maybe, sometime in future of course, sell business and put yourself in a position where you could have a lookeysee at the market.   Maybe there's another house in your area where you can have some land, a small house and absolutely no reminders of your previous life?  

Its surprising how no matter how niche your requirements theres a house that will fit out there    

Dxx

badmemory

The bad news is that the ex Mr Watty thing will keep cropping up although hopefully not for long.  If I am in an appropriate place I still see the first ex Mr Badmemory (rarely now) but he has been dead for 50 years.  Funnily enough I never see the second ex Mr Badmemory even though I was married to him for over 10 years longer.  But then ex no 2 never tried to drive his car at me, it tends to make a difference.  My sister can't understand why I am content to lead what she sees as a boring life.  I am never bored by the way.