Watty's Awakening

KajiKita

So glad the lights are going back up and you reclaimed a drawer that had previously been off limits to you - bravo, Heart Warrior Watty 😊❤️✨

Incidentally, the naming of PPH having such a profound effect on your perception and your mind is not at all surprising. You’ve done a LOT of work over the months and now you are ready to see him as what he is; weak, manipulative, exploitative and not worthy of your time, effort or headspace. Seeing him with contempt or anger is destructive to you, but seeing him as PPH, small and foolish, firmly ‘puts him in his place’ without any backwash over you. 😊

KK

LadyWithAPlan

it is like when I renamed my ex 'text-ex ' when he as a man in his 50s dumped me via text.. I was upset and in shock at first but understanding that text-ex did this was the only really important thing I needed to remember about our time together. 
Nothing else actually mattered, the way you leave says far more  about who one is than how one arrives. Couples split up but it can be done with kindness, mutual respect and communication..
PPHs all,, though I do quite like SBB )

PennysIntoPounds

Very vicariously satisfied with the lights up and the content shredding and drawer reclaiming. Genuinely sitting here feeling a regal type of smug on your behalf 💅 Hope you've had a marvellous evening organising the spare rooms 

Suffolk_lass

LadyWithAPlan said:

KajiKita said:

Seeing you in contentment with a kind man is just lovely. It brings joy to me 😊

KK

me too!

@s@Suffolk_lass what brand were the recommended muck boots?

Maybe the Arctic boots as that is the print I have on mine. They are fabric and superb in cold weather. I see they do separate dog-walking types now. I did not buy mine direct, I bought via Brantana - it depends what you want them for of course

savingholmes

Glad you are find a humorous and cathartic way of dealing with life, PPH included.

Lovely your lights are now restored and back up. You've made a lot of positive changes this year.

LadyWithAPlan

@Suffolk_lass tx I will check them out as Xmas gifts for family with horses/dogs..

The lights sound lovely Watty

Watty1

The Muck Boots I have are Artic Adventure - and I have practically lived in them since buying. So comfortable for dog walking and yard duties and driving.  On longer walks they do rub the back of my socks though but fine for WattyDog hour or so walks.     They have outlived wellies for sure and are so much warmer.

Watty1

Two spare rooms have their beds in the right places. Need a mattress in a hurry now before guests arrive.

The metal cheap bed frame was really fun to put together with the VNM and it looks fabulous.  I am trying to buy second hand (although the mattress will be new - there are limits) for cost and environmental reasons but couldn't find a suitable frame locally within a reasonable distance at a good price.  This one was delivered, new, with all the screws and tools to assemble and looks really very nice.    We had a good chat too while putting it together.  He rarely goes home now and is happily paying towards some bills here so we talked about the boundaries around that and have come up with a written agreement so that there can be no misunderstandings moving forwards.

Had it not been for PPH I'm not sure I would have bothered, but now I want it clearly defined and would have no truck with anyone saying "but you can trust blah de blah".  .   We also talked through him doing some of the work around here. I don't mean small jobs like helping assemble a bed from the boxed bits but the bigger jobs, and about the fact I really want to employ a person on a regular basis to do repairs and work.   I said the  electrician for the outside lights has now quoted over £1000 and the VNM is sure it is only a days work and all I need is a new sensor for the yard.  (He suspects Wattydog broke the last one but this is about solutions not blame so WattyDog is not in trouble)

As a result we came up with a clear plan.  I will pay him along the lines of paying the contractors who rarely turn up and he was clear about what he will and will not do.    So it seems I have a paid for maintenance person for some jobs with clearly defined contract in place (from next year) and I can now concentrate my efforts on finding someone to do the larger jobs. if it doesn't work out I am no worse off than now and if it does what a relief to have someone who will spend a day here tackling "the list" on a regular basis.

Slinky

A "Handyman with Benefits" Sounds like you've found a good solution. 

I think you also need to perhaps verbally agree that you won't fall out over it if it doesn't work well for both of you. Beware also of the situation where it's easier to push your jobs to the back of the queue when somebody else wants his time. My friend left her builder husband because she had no carpets downstairs in their house, as he wanted to bury the pipework for the radiators in the floor but never got around to it because of the work he did elsewhere always got priority. She was fed up with not wanting to invite anybody round in the 10 years she was waiting.

Watty1

A great point @Slinky but if it doesn't work out I'm no worse off that I was and I have been clear that about what the arrangement is. I'm going to pay him for his time at an agreed rate, and, if he spends that time with his family, I'll go back to my original plan to find someone.