Watty's Awakening

debtfreewannabe321

You did a fantastic job given everything you've been going through, well done! 

savingholmes

Well done on a successful year. Great result on the pension. 

I'd limit exposure to the woman. You need to manage your own mental health especially as a business owner entirely dependent on yourself to create £. Don't get involved. 

Hope you find a counsellor or someone to provide support. I'm loving my art course and am finding that therapeutic. Do you have an equivalent regular thing you could do with like minded people that would take your mind off your triggers?

Watty1

Thank you.  i did rather gloss over the fact that the year has been very good financially for me. I've managed to pay for the building works (will I borrowed the money from my company but still it is just me so that is a win) and I've put a very nice sum into my pension pot.

I've been thinking I should give myself a lot of credit for this very good outcome.  So thank you all for pointing that out so I remembered to congratulate myself for doing that 

Watty1

Charming Cob does have toys - he has a big ball that I stuff with hay and he has to pull the hay out of the small holes - he hates this because it is hard work and he mostly ignores it    And he has a smaller ball that is filled with pony nuts. He can empty this in a few mins by everso very gently nudging it so it does not roll very far and also a big cylinder ball that he despises because this one rolls a long way due to its shape and does not dispense many pony nuts.  He despises this one but does play with it because the little pony nuts are clearly a very good reward.   This one often rolls into the haybarn which is out of reach and so frustrating for him.  These and a couple of hay nets entertain him for a few hours but my goodness it is exhausting with him on enforced rest.  Just two more days to go and then we will see how his medical treatment has worked.

Cherryfudge

I can see why you use food as a distraction for him! Nearly there with wait, though.

And he's clearly a clever gentleman who can see when he's being fobbed off.  

Watty1

Spent much of yesterday working although had to pop out for horse food and whilst out stopped at the very expensive farm shop and bought "bento boxes" ie little trays with a mixture of salads in. A potato salad, a cauli and broccoli salad two different coleslaws pickled red cabbage and a quinoa salad.  Yum.  Served up as Saturday night tea with smoked salmon fillets and a glass of rhubarb sparkle telling the VNM it was so much better than a "take away" 
I've really been focusing on food these last few days and no alcohol to help with mood and also scheduled a call with a counsellor that was very helpful.

I think I have turned a corner although very aware that with work, the horses, the dog and the house I'm struggling with downtime.  I've been listening to some podcasts while working and I am thinking now I need to employ "help" at least for the next few months to give me some more recuperation time.  The business can afford it so I'm now researching options.  (I have a vague memory that one of you suggested this a while back  -  it takes time but I get there )

beanielou

That tea sounds lovely. Great idea to employ someone to help where needed. Remember it’s also helping them. 

Cherryfudge

Ohhh, the food sounds perfect! It's amazing how good nutrition helps us feels better (have had a few vegetarian days and it really suits me). What's the rhubarb sparkle? Is it a farm shop special? It sounds so summery.

And employing someone? Definitely. As Beanie so wisely says, it helps them as well as you.

daisy_1571

Sounds like a good idea if you have a clear idea what they will do and what duties you will keep and how it all fits together.  Bound to be more work initially but will lead to easier times in future.

Perhaps investigate what help you can get through the jobcentre, they can offer help drafting job advert, help with interviewing or cutting down the applicants, incentives for taking on particular categories of jobseesker plus you can offer jobseekers a work trial to see whether they suit you or you suit them.  Look up the official gov dot UK site , there might be something that helps

Daisy xx

Watty1

That is really helpful @daisy_1571 Thank you.  I will investigate.  I've made a list of work they could do so that would free up some time but help writing the job spec would be great.

i thought I had turned a corner but Sunday was a really bad day, I started out taking Most Handsome out for a little explore the neighbourhood walk with a neighbour but had a panic attack so asked if we could just short cut home.   Once I calmed down Most Handsome was very sensible which as he tends to copy my mood was a big relief.    The lovely neighbour also offered to help get the Charming Cob back to fitness if I am struggling.  She adores him so that might be help and was also really kind about my mood.

Came home and then tidied the office and it now looks good enough to ask someone to work on the spare desk.  Couldn't sleep so now catching up on here with a cup of tea.