Flying solo

twiggy86

Not sure there's much in the way of "bits and bobs" today but let's see what I think of in writing this list!

• Made myself a nice sandwich for my lunch today using some chicken breast that I cooked last night 
• Dinner will be leftover stir-fry from last night - also have another portion in the fridge which I may have for lunch tomorrow 
• Should finish the crochet bunny at lunch time today hopefully - it's not needed until 20 November but I need to get started on the Christmas presents for my nephews so that I give myself plenty of time to get them done
• Meeting my friend before netball tonight - she said she has a present for me... however it's possibly just my two pairs of gloves that she's stolen! 

ladybird1106

You can ask for jury duty to be deferred. 
You might be able to ask not to do it at all, use the fact you are a single person, work won't pay you and you can't afford your bills etc. They may or may not accept this as a reason. Good luck. 

Floss

PLEASE don't be forced into using your holiday time for jury service. Look at the link earlier in the thread about claiming your lost wages, and book a couple of long weekends off work to use your holiday as a break.

satchmo1

Jury service: Ask to change the date or be excused - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

Common Effective Jury Duty Reasons

Excuse	Example Explanations
1. Extreme Financial Hardship	My employer won't pay me for time spent on jury duty, and I cannot afford to lose that income.

Little_bit_taller

Hullo twiggy86

I've been excused jury service previously due to the jury service being the same time as starting a new job.

Re your ex. Don't pay him a penny. Can you get someone to move in with you for the week before he leaves, i.e. family members/friends could do shifts. He may not want a scene if others are there and it will help you with your will-power!

Well done on the debt-busting so far!

badmemory

You will be surprised at how much he is actually costing you, you are unlikely to be as much worse off as you think.

PennysIntoPounds

Sorry you've had a tough emotional day mate, hope your evening put you in a better place. As many above have said, don't worry about jury service as they may excuse you, but do look into how you can be excused, and definitely do not use your much needed leave to make up for it if at all possible! 

I really feel you not wanting to be hateful, but maybe you can find an emotional middle ground where it's almost water off a ducks back- this is a sad and stressful thing but you've already done most of the grieving for the worst of it, so if he wants to keep giving you reasons to be glad to see the back of him, that is entirely his choice.

Regardless, you have set the date for him to go (at the latest!), and as @badmemory says, you'll be surprised how much financially better off you are without him skanking off you in myriad little ways

That's so nice (and telling) that your Dad can't wait to change the locks. Have you told him to reserve Thursday 30th November for this occasion?

Sorry if I come across like a random person stomping their size 6 and a halfs over your life, you just seem such a decent, kind, caring person and I can't bear to see liberties being taken, especially by someone who caused the horrible situation to exist in the first place x

weenancyinAmerica

Sorry to say this, but you may need to take your holiday time to stay home and make sure he doesn't take your stuff too like my former brother-in-law did. Maybe take a vacation that last week of November.

Me_v_The_Mortgage_Mountain

Hi Twiggy

I've been following your thread as I was in a similar position 6 years ago.

badmemory said:

You will be surprised at how much he is actually costing you, you are unlikely to be as much worse off as you think.

Badmemory is absolutely right, when Ex left DD and I our shopping bill more than halved.  My credit rating had been through the floor due to constantly having to bail him out and cover all of the household bills etc, now I have the highest ratings you can get.  I had huge debts, now I have savings, have bought him out of the house, manage to have 2 holidays abroad each year and several concerts and weekends away.  It's hard to start with but you are making good progress already and things will get better.

Be strong and stick to your guns.

MvTMM

twiggy86

Thanks for the suggestion re asking to be excused and this is something I will look into. The only issue being, I was originally called up to do it in February but my employers requested I was excused as being a business critical employee (makes me sound more important than I am!) which was rejected - however I moved the date so that we had more time to prepare. I know I wasn't permitted to change the date again, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm not permitted to ask to be excused for a different reason. 

I'm sure you're all right re me being better off financially moving forward - it's just scary having no one else to rely on... not that clearly ex was reliable anyway!!! @PennysIntoPounds - I think you're right that I've done most of the grieving already. I think did underestimate how stressed I would feel this month in the run up though. 

In nicer news... the present from my friend was a big photo frame with about 10 individual photo holders which she'd filled with photos of me and my friends!!! I always admire her photos in her kitchen when I go round so she made something similar for me! I'm such a lucky girl!!!!