Flying solo

satchmo1

Sounds like a fab weekend. Maybe it suggests that friends and family are glad you have decided to part company?

My instinct is to shop for/prepare only food he dislikes... is that too bad??

PennysIntoPounds

Just a thought- although it's a spend, is it worth booking a locksmith to change the locks on the date you've given ex to move out? Then he can't leave moving his stuff until the last minute and keep popping back for a box at a time, and 'staying over because it's convenient/his plans fell through' 

twiggy86

PennysIntoPounds said:

Just a thought- although it's a spend, is it worth booking a locksmith to change the locks on the date you've given ex to move out? Then he can't leave moving his stuff until the last minute and keep popping back for a box at a time, and 'staying over because it's convenient/his plans fell through' 

My dad can't wait to change the locks! 

twiggy86

satchmo1 said:

Sounds like a fab weekend. Maybe it suggests that friends and family are glad you have decided to part company?

My instinct is to shop for/prepare only food he dislikes... is that too bad??

I'm not necessarily buying things he doesn't like - but I'm definitely cooking what I fancy!!! Unfortunately I'm the slightly fussier eater of the two of us, so not really much he doesn't like!!! 

twiggy86

No signs of movement from ex, but that isn't a surprise! The box I put outside his room over a week ago is still there! 

In money news - I have now achieved over 50% of the goal I set at the start of the year - which was to pay off just over £7k to get my total debt under £10k! Obviously I won't hit the original goal but then this year has absolutely not gone how I planned! My revised goal was to get the debt under £13k - I will get close to this, but as I'm now putting money aside rather than throw straight at the cards I may not achieve it. I have £200 allocated for the last CC payment, although the minimum is actually only £25 - so I will be paying the minimum and leaving the rest in my account. Happy with the progress I have made though! 

Today's bits and bobs:

• Make CC payment as another statement has come in 
• Claim £3 from V*nted 
• Work on next crochet present - should be complete in the next couple of days and then I can move on to a Xmas present 
• I also weighed the yarn for the next present - I'm hoping to make 2 of the same for my nephews, so I've weighed the colours I am planning to use and then will weigh once I've completed the first one to see if I'll have enough for the second! 
• Make a small list of a few bits I need from the shop - will make sure I snap my receipt for points! 
• Dinner will be stir fry as I took some chicken out of the freezer and I have the other bits in for it which need using 

PennysIntoPounds

Reclaim the box, he can get his own!

That's fantastic you've reached 50% of your goal, well done

Edit: Just noticed it's the 7th today so one week of Nov already gone. Only three weeks and two days til he has to be out so he really needs to get packing. Maybe make clear to him that the date for him to be gone includes all his stuff too?

vampirotoothus

Hi Twiggy stop buying food for him and stop cooking for him. The less you do, the more he will know you are serious, otherwise he will just ignore and hope it goes away (not you, your decision). Good luck V x

vampirotoothus

PS put the box by the door and start putting his stuff in it!

foxgloves

Hello @twiggy86, I'm sure you are right that your ex is mopey because the reality has caught up with him. Actions have consequences, particularly bagging off with other people, & it is probably things like your 'hard date' for him moving out & the symbolic cardboard box that have made him think a bit. I think arranging to change the locks asap after his moving day is very important. You don't want him coming back a couple of weeks later giving you the sad eye because he doesn't like his new accomodation. If you are making very visible plans for your life once he's moved out, it should also feel like less of a comfort zone for him. Has he actually found somewhere to live yet? Don't fall for "I've got nowhere to go", as it sounds as though he has had sufficient time to do some serious flat-hunting.
Good luck with it all. 
F x

twiggy86

I'm generally a positive person but feeling quite stressed and down today. I think it's a combination of the weather, the fact that ex isn't doing anything to make things easier on me and that I spoke to boss yesterday and they definitely won't be paying me for jury duty. 

You're all right that I need to be more pro-active in making ex leave as he won't help me in this. I just don't want to spiral into hate and anger but feel he's pushing me in that direction. Not that he deserves compassion or sympathy, but I don't think it's healthy for me to feel hateful. 

Re jury duty, my boss said that I can use my holiday and yesterday I felt adamant that I didn't want to do that. In this whole time since June, I haven't taken any time off and I really feel like I need a break - which isn't helped by the fact that i may have to work between Christmas and New Year. However, given the "known unknowns" and uncertainty re how quickly I can get a lodger, I think on reflection that I actually I need to take the time as holiday so that my wages won't be impacted. I was looking forward to jury duty but it is coming at completely the wrong time. 

I've got netball tonight and am meeting my friend for a chat first, so hopefully that will cheer me up a bit!