An in-between phase

PennysIntoPounds

I can't rebook it @KajiKita they just put me on a day and time I didn't volunteer for!
And dagnabbnit now the tube strike has been suspended, I have no excuses other than I dooon't waaaant toooo *has very unenergetic toddler tantrum*

Okay, I'm an adult and if I don't want to mission it out to do something I literally did not agree to do then I don't have to.
Even with tubes running I would still have to leave at half six and not get back till half ten having had nothing to eat. In the cold and dark with a 20 minute walk after/before tube in an area I'm not familiar with. If they'd given me the day and time slot I signed up for I would of course do that but I am not appreciating this guilty feeling of being poor and having to do things I feel unhappy with.
A £100 voucher would be effing marvellous but also it's not going to buy us a flat is it. Which very much goes against the ethos of 'it all adds up' and I still feel guilty.

Hope the veg stir fry has been tasty and nutritious @redofromstart. Definitely treat yourself to a thorntons pack tomorrow, that's a wee summat to look forward to 

KajiKita

”Even with tubes running I would still have to leave at half six and not get back till half ten having had nothing to eat. In the cold and dark with a 20 minute walk after/before tube in an area I'm not familiar with. If they'd given me the day and time slot I signed up for I would of course do that”

All perfectly reasonable. 

“ I am not appreciating this guilty feeling of being poor and having to do things I feel unhappy with.”

Perhaps a reframe might help? Something along the lines of:

I am not poor. I live in a FW country with warmth, fresh water on tap and a solid roof over my head. 

The £100 I would have earned to go towards my dream, has now been whisked out of my reach by circumstances beyond my control. 

I accept that this has happened, will shrug and do a F0xh0les, shouting “Plot twist!” and move on to having a lovely relaxing evening on my own terms.

KK

beanielou

Absolutely don’t feel guilty. 

badmemory

I doubt that the voucher, nice though it would be, would compensate for 2 very anxious walks.

As for Thorntons.  They were much easier to avoid back when they only sold from their own shops.  Although I have never seen their chocolate gingers anywhere else thankfully.

redofromstart

see now badmemory, that got me doing 'oh yeah' for the chocolate gingers too.  The outlet shop was a dangerous place!

The stir fry was actually quite nice and very filling.  

PennysIntoPounds

But I'm poor in this expensive FW country KK 😂

Anyway, I recognise that I don't feel up for doing it because my joints are hurting and exhausting, and because I'm in a headspace to hunker down rather than be brave as I'm feeling emotional about upcoming friend's celebration of life intermingled with a new phase of grieving for my Dad what with finally getting the hospital trust payout.

I'm disappointed I'm unable to physically and mentally make myself feel otherwise at the moment but I very much need to do my productivities in a small and quiet way with no additional strains or anxieties right now.

By not going that's about a tenner in fares already saved. I was really tempted to order a samples beauty box for delivery only which was £3 so that's £13 total saved. I will resist going to the pub later so that's £23 total saved. And I remain resolute(ish) in not buying those thorntons so that's £24...

EssexHebridean

Mmmm Thorntons outlet shops - I miss those! the outlet village at Braintree has a Cadbury outlet shop which is a dangerous place to wander... 

On the price of the jabs - have you checked Sooperdrug? I recall seeing an ad saying they are doing flu jabs for £9.95 as long as you have their loyalty card?  I wouldn't be spending over a week's budget on one either! 

WelshmansDaughter

Reframe as annoyingly I will not be able to participate in the socially acceptable method of value exchange as I am prioritizing my human needs over economic?

ETA- this does not increase any budgets but does conserve oneself for another day.

Slowdown

I understand your feelings about not taking the £100 voucher in exchange for long walks in the cold, dark, unfamiliar streets. On the one hand the money would be great, on the other the amount of mental and physical effort needed is also great. 

Perhaps think of it in terms of just not being paid to sit in your own warm house!  You’re not losing anything as no one was paying you to do that in the first place. ☺️

EssexHebridean

Oh yes - the "not going out in the cold and dark of an evening" thing - right there with you. Just been down the road from the office to post a letter - it's cold, damp and dark, and everywhere is full of idiots. It's a hard no from me!