Money Moral Dilemma: Should my partner contribute more to household bills as he works from home?

Pescur

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

I work part-time from my workplace and look after our child one day a week to save on childcare costs. My partner works full-time from home, using two computers, cooking food and having the lights and heating on as required. He contributes more towards bills than I do, as I reduced my hours, and therefore pay, to care for our child, but I think he should contribute even more, as he uses much more energy, water and so on than I do. Should I ask him to pay more?

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Spoonie_Turtle said:

All the posts mentioning that different arrangements work for different relationships are correct - but missing the fact that clearly their current arrangement is not working for them if they can't agree.

I don't think it said that they can't agree or had even asked, it said that Partner used more energy, they probably used more toilet paper and that is the issue, if you are going to count minutia then there is something wrong with the way you are feeling.  The cost of the partner getting the train would be more than the energy cost.  If someone came to me with such a request I would do such a forensic analysis of all costs.  As I said in my previous post, the question should really be about what is a fair way to split costs when one partner earns more than the other and where do you draw the line on shared costs.

Spoonie_Turtle

Pescur said:

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

I work part-time from my workplace and look after our child one day a week to save on childcare costs. My partner works full-time from home, using two computers, cooking food and having the lights and heating on as required. He contributes more towards bills than I do, as I reduced my hours, and therefore pay, to care for our child, but I think he should contribute even more, as he uses much more energy, water and so on than I do. Should I ask him to pay more?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.
Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.

Spoonie_Turtle said:

All the posts mentioning that different arrangements work for different relationships are correct - but missing the fact that clearly their current arrangement is not working for them if they can't agree.

I don't think it said that they can't agree or had even asked, it said that Partner used more energy, they probably used more toilet paper and that is the issue, if you are going to count minutia then there is something wrong with the way you are feeling.  The cost of the partner getting the train would be more than the energy cost.  If someone came to me with such a request I would do such a forensic analysis of all costs.  As I said in my previous post, the question should really be about what is a fair way to split costs when one partner earns more than the other and where do you draw the line on shared costs.

No that's true, such a long thread I'd forgotten the actual wording. 

It just seems weird they feel that have to ask for input, if they had a partnership with finances that worked well then they should already know whether to ask or not.  If you're having to ask strangers on the internet for advice how to handle something in your relationship, it's an indication something is probably wrong.

Angri

Which one of you gets the child benefit - - and do you split that as well?

Alnat1

Angri said:

Which one of you gets the child benefit - - and do you split that as well?

Perhaps that is decided by who put in most effort in the act of creation?

michaels

Obviously in our household not only do we record every spend and every piece of consumption (down to sheet sof toilet paper) to make sure that no one is benefitting unduly, we also cost domestic chores via competitive tendering, each partner puts in a bid to the household for providing cleaning, childminding, shopping etc etc services with the household selecting the most economically advantageous bid and then the relevant party delivers the service, of course with in built monitoring, performance bonuses etc.

With matrimonial services it can all get very very messy - but only if we are doing it right

elsien

michaels said:

Obviously in our household not only do we record every spend and every piece of consumption (down to sheet sof toilet paper) to make sure that no one is benefitting unduly, we also cost domestic chores via competitive tendering, each partner puts in a bid to the household for providing cleaning, childminding, shopping etc etc services with the household selecting the most economically advantageous bid and then the relevant party delivers the service, of course with in built monitoring, performance bonuses etc.

With matrimonial services it can all get very very messy - but only if we are doing it right

The previous post on this thread was 6 months ago? 

QrizB

That might be my fault. I shared a link to it in a thread on the Pensions board.

You can't keep a good thread down