Money Moral Dilemma: Should my partner contribute more to household bills as he works from home?

Agent57

Do a review of your family finances once a year or whenever there is a change of circumstance. All income and outgoings. Then discuss sensibly how much each should contribute.  No need to argue or make demands.  Just a sensible regular discussion.

savercat

I suggest you review how you share finances. If he earns a lot more then you then he should consider sharing this out more equally, as others have suggested. You are in a partnership and have shared commitments to one another and the family, as well as financial obligations.

If you want to keep your incomes completely separate, then it seems reasonable that he should contribute more for expenses for WFH. I surprised he hasn’t  considered this. 

If money is a contentious issue between you, you might want to consider relationship counselling.

Saetana

I really hope this "dilemma" is a made up one - if its not then you do not sound like a great partner to me.  He is already paying more than you - and you want him to pay even more?  How about the fact he is earning and contributing more than you?  What about the day you spend looking after your child, how many resources are you using then?  I honestly cannot believe this is a real dilemma, come on MSE you can do better than this.

akira181

There's not really enough information to make an accurate opinion. If he's making a 6 figure salary then it's reasonable to ask. If it's not much, it's probably difficult conversation, borderline unreasonable depending on too many factors to list.

But then again, what earning power are you losing out by working 4 days a week instead of 5? Apparently not enough to offset a day of childcare. So if he's already paying more, it's probably offsetting any loss of earnings already. Not to mention childcare is valuable bonding time he is losing out on.

That said, you're got a kid together so your finances should be more discussed and understood between the two of you. It should be a conversation you should be able to have easily without resorting to strangers on a forum with a tiny bit of information.

My situation is we have a joint account we both put an agreed amount into every month and all joint living expenses come out that account. Review the balance every couple months, discuss and adjust accordingly if required. Clear and simple.

Ed264

Obviously your partner earns more than you do, and already pays more towards the bills than you do. If you took a straightforward view, work out what percentage of your partner's earnings you earn yourself. For example, if you earn 30% of what he earns, you could pay 30% of the bills. Another solution would be to sit down together and discuss it together, like partners should do.

Rob_Doe

this sounds like made up by AI really - to be so deep in to detail who spends on what, I know many here points to have joint accounts for bills to be paid from which I like the idea of it TBH to have usual monthly (mortgaged house) bills split 50/50. But not all can do it. On my (our till some time ago) example we both were working full time since together. Then kids (2 with 3 yr gap) came to world and due to fact that we have nobody here (of family members like our parents or sisters/brothers) to give us a helping hand with child care from time to time  one had to give up full time. So  our deal was I will pay all bills (mortgage,utilities, cars insurance/maintenace/ etc, hols on my card to be paid by me, big house purchase like fridge/tv/furnitures on my card to be paid by me, primark/ ikea/ etc usually on me too. Wife working part/flexi time was responsible to pay for food, kids needs, weekly shopping etc - she newer paid single household bill over 15yrs of being tgthr - that was a deal. Sad but true she decided to walk away so 50:50 is now and if she wants she would prob got even more than that from what I've heard.   That was a deal of my life. 

Agent57

akira181 said:

There's not really enough information to make an accurate opinion. 

  Let's put this as the first line of every dilemma on here.

QrizB

Ed264 said:

Obviously your partner earns more than you do, and already pays more towards the bills than you do. If you took a straightforward view, work out what percentage of your partner's earnings you earn yourself. For example, if you earn 30% of what he earns, you could pay 30% of the bills.

That's not quite how maths work.

Imagine two people, Alice and Bob, earn £A and £B per (week/month/year) respectively.

The total household income is A+B.

If you want to divide household bills in proportion to their incomes:

• Alice pays A / (A+B) of the bills.
• Bob pays B / (A+B) of the bills.

For example, if A=2 and B=3 then Alice pays 2/5 (ie 40%) and Bob pays 3/5 (ie 60%).

eao

I cannot recall seeing such a thesaurus of scathing and superior language in reply to an MMD.  Please show a little bit of empathy and respect.  I rather like Bikaya's comment. Many of the comments have a lot of validity but would be much more effective if put more gently.

AgeingHippytoo

My initial thought was it doesn’t seem much of a partnership but on reflection, I guess different things work for different people. I manage all our finances and we have joint accounts but I have a friend whose name wasn’t on her house deeds and was left penniless on the death of her husband. Another friend allowed her husband to manage the finances which she didn’t have any input in and they ended up having to sell their house as a direct result of his poor financial decisions. I guess it is what works in a given relationship but I think one can get too picky about what each is using.