Money Moral Dilemma: Should my partner contribute more to household bills as he works from home?

dealyboy

@GingerTim said:

I suspect MSE might regret posting this in the plain speakin' energy forum!

No I don't think so ... indeed @MSE_Kelvin may well be in line for a bonus now that the Daily Express has picked this up ... Money Saving Expert user divides opinion on whether income should affect bill payments (msn.com).

GingerTim

dealyboy said:

@GingerTim said:

I suspect MSE might regret posting this in the plain speakin' energy forum!

No I don't think so ... indeed @MSE_Kelvin may well be in line for a bonus now that the Daily Express has picked this up ... Money Saving Expert user divides opinion on whether income should affect bill payments (msn.com).

And that's what counts for 'news' these days!

MultiFuelBurner

And everyone fell for the AI (MSE posed) question for click bait.

Paje

My partner pays for food (except alcohol), council tax, utilities. I pay for insurances, fixing the vehicles, petrol, going out and getting merry We do this via seperate accounts. But if one is a bit short one month we simply top up from each other It's no big deal - whichis what partnerships should be like

Truffles18

On getting engaged, my husband and I opened a joint account. We saved for the wedding, house deposit etc. When we had kids I worked part time while they were young. He earned more money than me and continued to do so for about 25 years. I now earn more than him, but nothing has changed in the way we share our finances. We discuss large purchases together but rarely disagree. We have both had inheritance, his was more than mine and it became 'our' money. My pension will be better than his, but we will be living off it together, as a couple. We have both contributed to our household and family in different ways over the years, sharing responsibilities and finances. That's what a partnership is. We've been married 33 years

JayD

CSI_Yorkshire said:

Clearly.

You should be sure to individually account for each individual action, each consumable item, the number of times each of you flushes the toilet etc.  In fact, you should probably also start tracking how much of each packet or tin of food each of you consumes in case that isn't equal too.

After all, nothing says 'partner' like comprehensive and accurate domestic accounting.

Don't forget the wear and tear on bedding and furnishings. If he is larger than you, he must surely be accountable for his extra use of those!

Have you looked up the definition of 'petty'? Do you really consider this relationship to be that of partners?

Totally ridiculous dilemma MSE!

JaneHenery

Is your marriage okay? I think that's the question you should ask yourself first. You're asking strangers if they are on your side regarding your resentments about your marriage. Why not just talk to the man you married (or cohabit with)? Is he so scary that you can't sit down and broach the subject of bills and your concerns about them? If that's the case I think you have bigger things to worry about. 

JaneHenery

Abbafan1972 said:

skinflint_me said:

@CSI_Yorkshire Actually, we do exactly this - and it works for us.  We also had a conversation when one of us started WFH and was gaining a tax benefit for this, although we didn't reapportion bills as a result.

We are both only children, very independent and with business/accountancy backgrounds.  We've never 'shared' as such and we each buy our own food, have our own separate plates and cutlery in our own cupboards, even our own freezers but do share a fridge, albeit with our own individual shelves within.  We have a notebook, the 'Bill Book' and settle up at the end of each month with who owes what.  

The weekly grocery delivery is apportioned re who bought each item although items such as washing detergent are split 50:50.   

I know this may sound strange to some, but we've always done this.  It works for us and we've never had any arguments about money and have been happily married for 34 years.

This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read! 

Not a partnership at all. 

No, it's not your idea of a partnership. The fact that the poster has been with their partner for 34 years and done this successfully, says it very much IS a partnership. Lots of super-cosy, we-share-everything relationships don't make it for 34 months before they divorce and are at each other's throats for who gets what. People make marriage work whatever way they can. This one works, even if you don't like it. 

SStitanic

It would depend if work is just sitting around eating pot noodles playing P.S and watching !!!!!! then you have a bigger issue, get a nanny cam and find out. 

ellyj

ripongrammargirl said:

Seriously? You’re in a big girl relationship and are arguing over who pays for what in your home? You need to get an understanding of the word relationship/partnership as this “dilemma” is just crazy. Why not just do what Steptoe and son did and divide the house down the middle so you can each pay for your own half? You have a child and are arguing about money? What kind of lesson is that teaching- “daddy and I fight over who pays for things in our home”. You need to take a long look at what you call a partnership and stop treating him like a business deal.  The whole world has gone mad.

Couldn't agree more. There's someone here talking about in case of divorce! OMG what happened to love?