Using mediation for financial agreement

YoungBlueEyes

If it was me I'd say "yes it is all mine your honour" and pay my legal bill with it, knock a lump off the mortgage, and bang the rest in my pension.

I've been reading along but not commenting, because sometimes I say things too bluntly. Which cause offence without me meaning to.

I am not a legal expert, first off. But what I would say is - as a wife in this country you are afforded certain rights and can take advantage of certain provisions. There is no my money/his money and I can't have it. A solicitor (especially if you can find one with proper knowledge of your religion) will be the absolute best thing you can do for yourself now.  

You're wearing your "I'll be a good Muslim wife and accept what he gives me" hat, when you need to be wearing a "I'm a UK wife and I know I'm entitled to this that and the other" hat.

I really hope this comes good for you. Good luck

NornIronRose

YoungBlueEyes I don't mind a bit of bluntness as long as it is fair. 

My issue is not that I will accept what he gives me, but that under shariah law it sets out responsibilities on both parties. 

Good point from Elsien about getting a solicitor that may not be local. Honestly hadn't thought of that. Thank you for being helpful as always. 

I am keeping him blocked on my phone now and not getting caught up in another text conversation. I need to play my part in sticking to the non-mol if that makes sense. 

I have not checked my email to see if there is any reply from his solicitor and don't intend to check today. It can wait til tomorrow at least. 

I think I will also make myself not open any emails from him unless I have contacted him directly and need an answer on something. 

There is nothing in shariah law that specifies the percentage of equity that each party is entitled to. I was sticking to my guns and refusing to accept less than 50%. But if the judge deems the financial agreement to be unfair, and I am not permitted to have any of his savings or pension, same as he is not entitled to mine (mine is a pittance compared to his), there is nothing in shariah law that would stop the judge awarding me a slightly higher %. 

Ex would go ballistic at that as he has always believed that I am entitled to zero,  but at this stage I am just thinking, tough!

Thank you all once again for giving me the kick up the backside with this that I am regularly needing. I'm getting there!

RAS

Next time you get tempted to communicate with the ex, or his solicitor, please come here and get a reality check first.

If he's got a good pension, then you should be getting more than 50% of the equity in the house.

billy2shots

NornIronRose said:

Billy2shots, my problem is that I haven't been able to find a solicitor who is dealing with shariah law. 
So I am having to deal with it as best I can, with advice given by people who know what I am entitled or not entitled to under shariah law. 

Feel free to PM me please if you have any advice. 

I am not sure where you are based. 
I'm also not recommending anyone but

https://www.anglolaw.co.uk/our-expertise/family-law/islamic-divorce-and-finances-under-sharia-law

Seem to tick a lot of boxes. Free consultation, female head of family law (I really can't emphasise how important I think a female is in this situation). 
Just one example but only the first one that I found that I may consider. 

NornIronRose

To address Billy2shots' comment about the CMS, the agreement states that he will pay £200 monthly directly into my dd2's account and will pay a lump sum backdated to when he left. 
If I go through the CMS, whilst they would take more monthly from his wages, they won't backdate the claim by a penny. No point in telling me they will, because they have told me on numerous occasions thst they absolutely will not. 
Working it out, this will be about the same amount overall, as if I go through official channels. 
If he fails to pay then I will go straight to the CMS at that point. 

born_again

I'm with @YoungBlueEyes here.

Does shariah law allow him to treat you to the point you have to get a restraining order?
 On which has he been breaking this by directly contacting you?

billy2shots

NornIronRose said:

To address Billy2shots' comment about the CMS, the agreement states that he will pay £200 monthly directly into my dd2's account and will pay a lump sum backdated to when he left. 
If I go through the CMS, whilst they would take more monthly from his wages, they won't backdate the claim by a penny. No point in telling me they will, because they have told me on numerous occasions thst they absolutely will not. 
Working it out, this will be about the same amount overall, as if I go through official channels. 
If he fails to pay then I will go straight to the CMS at that point. 

You know him, we don't. From what you have written I firmly believe he will not continue future payments. 

Forgo more money now for safeguarding future payments. 

NornIronRose

The non-molestation order just prevents him from harassment, pestering, coming within 100m of the home etc. 
He can contact me directly and tbh, there isn't a middle ground. He is not doing anything that would justify reporting him and getting him arrested. 
I just need to do as you have all suggested, and stop getting drawn into communicating with him. I will continue to keep him blocked on the phone, and have written to his solicitor directly. 

Malthusian

YoungBlueEyes said:

You're wearing your "I'll be a good Muslim wife and accept what he gives me" hat, when you need to be wearing a "I'm a UK wife and I know I'm entitled to this that and the other" hat.

Particularly as the OP's husband is adept at wearing both the "I am a British man and eat fish and chips and don't pay a dower to my wife on marriage" hat and also the "I follow sharia law and what's mine is mine" hat depending on which results in him keeping the most money.

YoungBlueEyes

I hope @NornIronRose gets an appropriate solicitor. That's gonna be key in this situation I think.