Breakdown of relationship, house and rental nightmare

superstylin

The police can't evict anyone. Police have only intervened so far because there was a domestic incident ongoing.

Adverse occupation refers to trespassers and is mainly used for squatters. The ex isn't a trespasser, she lives there, she has a key, her items of property are in the house. 

I imagine the officers were using a bit of bluster regards facilitating her removal because they had sympathy with the OP's situation. 

ayupmeduck

Sound like a right one. Expect issues once she has gone.

Tahlullah.H

mi-key said:

Murphybear said:

mi-key said:

Murphybear said:

Can’t she approach the council for help?  If she has not made herself deliberately homeless which would apply here and has dependent children then she would be classed as having a priority need (according to Shelter).  I do understand that most councils don’t have properties available but they will put her in a B & B or something until they can offer her a home or she can find a rental.  At least she won’t be on the streets and you have been more than generous already.  

She has had £17,000 given to her - she can easily afford to rent somewhere. The council wouldn't house someone in that situation anyway, and she would be cheeky to expect them to ! She is using the not being able to find somewhere for the standard of living she had before as an excuse to mess the OP about. 

Just an idea.  The problem is if she doesn’t have a job and good references she might struggle a bit to get a private rental.  

£17K can go a long way towards persuading a private landlord to rent to you ... I think her problem is she expects to live in a house and area equivalent to the one she is leaving, even though the OP was the one funding that lifestyle.

In any case, Shelter and the council won't consider housing people who have that sort of cash at hand, not when there are people in genuine need out there. 

I think you are mistaken.  Shelter do not 'house' people.  They are NOT a housing association.

[Deleted User]

Kind if shocking how many people instantly want to make her and the children homeless. Nice to know that the OP has a little more humanity, and wants to find a solution that doesn't wreck things for the innocent.

Murphybear

mi-key said:

OP as I mentioned before you have been more than fair with her. Probably too fair which is why she has taken advantage of your good nature and generosity.

Although you may feel a responsibility towards her kids, I bet after she has moved out you never see them again. You are NOT responsible for her kids becoming homeless or having nowhere to go, that is entirely down to her. She has had plenty of time and money to get somewhere sorted out.

If she is that desperate she can use the money to stay in a hotel with them until she finds somewhere to rent. 

Hopefully once she is gone you can settle down again and your mental state will improve, then onwards and upwards from there on 

Assuming she still has the £17k that would enable her to stay in a self catering holiday let for a while while she sorts herself out, much cheaper than a hotel.  Many are super cheap this time of the year.  

mi-key

[Deleted User] said:

Kind if shocking how many people instantly want to make her and the children homeless. Nice to know that the OP has a little more humanity, and wants to find a solution that doesn't wreck things for the innocent.

It's not really instant, she has had lots of notice and time to sort her housing out, not to mention being given a very large amount of money by the OP to pay for it. She doesn't want to leave because she knows she can't afford to fund the lifestyle the OP was providing for her before, which is not his fault !

She is taking advantage of his good  nature, and he has already said it has caused a mental breakdown for him and is effecting his mental health. He also has his own children living there, and his first responsibility needs to be to their wellbeing and his ability to look after them now and in the future. 

mi-key

Murphybear said:

mi-key said:

OP as I mentioned before you have been more than fair with her. Probably too fair which is why she has taken advantage of your good nature and generosity.

Although you may feel a responsibility towards her kids, I bet after she has moved out you never see them again. You are NOT responsible for her kids becoming homeless or having nowhere to go, that is entirely down to her. She has had plenty of time and money to get somewhere sorted out.

If she is that desperate she can use the money to stay in a hotel with them until she finds somewhere to rent. 

Hopefully once she is gone you can settle down again and your mental state will improve, then onwards and upwards from there on 

Assuming she still has the £17k that would enable her to stay in a self catering holiday let for a while while she sorts herself out, much cheaper than a hotel.  Many are super cheap this time of the year.  

Exactly ! She has had more than enough time and chances to sort her housing out and enough options out there. She is taking advantage

mi-key

Tahlullah.H said:

mi-key said:

Murphybear said:

mi-key said:

Murphybear said:

Can’t she approach the council for help?  If she has not made herself deliberately homeless which would apply here and has dependent children then she would be classed as having a priority need (according to Shelter).  I do understand that most councils don’t have properties available but they will put her in a B & B or something until they can offer her a home or she can find a rental.  At least she won’t be on the streets and you have been more than generous already.  

She has had £17,000 given to her - she can easily afford to rent somewhere. The council wouldn't house someone in that situation anyway, and she would be cheeky to expect them to ! She is using the not being able to find somewhere for the standard of living she had before as an excuse to mess the OP about. 

Just an idea.  The problem is if she doesn’t have a job and good references she might struggle a bit to get a private rental.  

£17K can go a long way towards persuading a private landlord to rent to you ... I think her problem is she expects to live in a house and area equivalent to the one she is leaving, even though the OP was the one funding that lifestyle.

In any case, Shelter and the council won't consider housing people who have that sort of cash at hand, not when there are people in genuine need out there. 

I think you are mistaken.  Shelter do not 'house' people.  They are NOT a housing association.

Yes, sorry, should have written that better ! I meant the council wouldn't house, and shelter wouldn't help someone in her position

skemp1

Ok,

So a bit of an update. 

I have left my house and am staying in Essex with family most of the time at the moment. I am going back there periodically, but am only going to actually sleep there 6 or 7 more nights until D-Day on/after the 28th of February.

Thanks everyone. It has been a horrendous time. Roll on 2024 haha.

YoungBlueEyes

Don’t you mean roll on February 🙂

Chin up Skemp1. It’s a horrendous time now but you’ll soon be looking back on it like ‘thank christ that’s over with’. 

I know that sounds glib but many of us have been there. It does pass, you just have to remain calm and dignified, and then one day it’s all over. Hang in there.