Breakdown of relationship, house and rental nightmare

skemp1

Ok, another update.

She has gone! 

I think she's gone into social housing but I'm not 100% sure. After the guarantor fell through I think she panicked and then started to think she had to accept almost anything, which is sort of good.

Still feel a bit gutted and jaded by the whole thing, but at least she's gone. 

She is getting the rest of her stuff over the weekend, but there's hardly anything left now so that's good. 

I am happy/relived that there is no on-going financial ties between us as she is a complete car crash with money. 

She's been a bit petty with taking some stuff, like my bedroom curtains, bedding, toaster and a few other bits, but I'm not too fussed as it gives me a clean slate. 

I've learned lots of lessons from this, as you do in life. 

Thanks for all your advice and support, it's been invaluable during this really tough time. 

MikeJXE

Good luck to both of you with the rest of your lives

YoungBlueEyes

Bladdy hell! Hands up who expected that?!

At least it's all over now Skemp, you can start straightening yourself out again and get cracked on with your life  

(The locks are changed, aren't they?)

skemp1

YoungBlueEyes said:

Bladdy hell! Hands up who expected that?!

At least it's all over now Skemp, you can start straightening yourself out again and get cracked on with your life  

(The locks are changed, aren't they?)

Thanks a lot!

They are being changed Sunday. She's going to be getting the rest of her stuff out this weekend.

I need to get some pictures and stuff in there as well as it feels a bit empty now. 

skemp1

MikeJXE said:

Good luck to both of you with the rest of your lives

Thanks a lot!

EssexHebridean

Get the locks changed today - then be there to let her in when she returns for the rest of her stuff. Personally I would also be going round room by room between now checking for anything of more significance that might have been taken. 

Think about it in terms that a stranger now has your door key - you wouldn’t voluntarily let them enter your house using it, would you!

I’m so relieved for you that she has gone though - and that eventually it was voluntary too. Once you have supervised her removing her remaining belongings you can close the door on this chapter - at least physically, I suspect the emotional side may take longer! 

One final suggestion - do you have a good friend locally that you can ask to be there with you when she returns for belongings? Just someone to witness what occurs so that it is harder for her to later level any unfounded accusations. I would also suggest asking that person to be ready if she starts kicking off at you to film the proceedings on their phone - again, to ward against any unfounded accusations. I very much hope I’m being over cynical here, but her track record of honesty and reasonable behaviour has not, to date, been great! 

YoungBlueEyes

EH has nailed it there, I think.

Without meaning to pish on your parade - she's shown herself to be petty (taking the bedroom curtains?!), so you really can't rely on her to be a good citizen now. When you go round to photos/video the house, change the locks at the same time. You only need a new barrel for a few quid. It's that easy even I've done it.

mi-key

Great news ! Hopefully it will be a lot better for your mental health once the last of her bits are out of there.

On a related note, when I divorced I didnt want to be in when my wife came to collect her stuff, so went out for a couple of hours. Her mum came down to help her collect things, and seemed to think it was free rein to take anything she wanted   ( she did have to bring it all back though ! ) 

SusieT

Essex hebridean is correct, I would advise you to do exactly that. Try to take a deep breath if she wants some small things (like the toaster) and agree, then you can have more "things" that are totally yours, in that she has had no use of them while she was living there if that makes sense? So measure the window, decide what curtains you would like to see there - racing cars, barbie cartoons, stripes, flowers, abstract patterns - whatever you like, and have a new start with fresh thingsthat have had no input from her. 
Happy new life  

Sea_Shell

Great news!!!

Hopefully, she'll collect her last few things, you can get your locks changed and move on.