Money Moral Dilemma: Should we keep splitting restaurant bills with friends that have kids?

Jibraeel

Yes, you should mention it, as things are not equal now, and don't seem to have been that way for quite a few years. If families cannot see their way to pay for their own teenage children, then they have a problem. Get it sorted, and good luck!

Assertyourself

Of course you shouldn’t pay the same as those with kids. Why are you even asking 

Sowhite

Just pay for what you have.

Marcon

You don't need a straw poll of strangers - you need to decide what you actually want to happen. You clearly aren't happy with the status quo or you wouldn't be posting here, so say something. Not a strident 'I shouldn't be subsidising your children' but a quiet word ahead of the next meal, saying you feel it's getting a bit expensive and perhaps you and your partner could in future have a separate bill to enable you to control costs? That way nobody should take umbrage and you won't have to go on forking out for teenagers who appear to have hollow legs when it comes to food!

Bonnymonny

bradavon said:

No!

Hate how couples cheekily think a couple = one or a family = one.

I used to share equally with friends who were a couple but I was single. So for every round I bought two drinks but they came as a unit so bought me one drink back.

They didn't get that it wasn't fair so I just stopped doing it.

Know the feeling.  My brother and me always met for a birthday lunch taking it in turns to pay, then he got a partner and she came too, then they had 3 kids who all now eat  adult portions.  I get a lunch bought for me but when it's my turn I pay for 5 of them!! And not a trace of guilt just entitlement almost.

Obird63

I completely concur with pretty much everyone else. It really bothers me that none of thrlese friends have gone 'oh, wait a minute, we should actually be paying more than you because we have three kids and you have none.' I would never let any of my friends sub me like that. I say that you should quietly do the maths before you ask for your bill separately and then when these friends comment on it, you can show them exactly how much extra they are expecting you to pay. 

Flipflop13

Bonnymonny said:

bradavon said:

No!

Hate how couples cheekily think a couple = one or a family = one.

I used to share equally with friends who were a couple but I was single. So for every round I bought two drinks but they came as a unit so bought me one drink back.

They didn't get that it wasn't fair so I just stopped doing it.

Know the feeling.  My brother and me always met for a birthday lunch taking it in turns to pay, then he got a partner and she came too, then they had 3 kids who all now eat  adult portions.  I get a lunch bought for me but when it's my turn I pay for 5 of them!! And not a trace of guilt just entitlement almost.

I can’t believe your brother thinks that’s reasonable! I have social anxiety and overthink things like this dilemma but surely everyone can see how unfair that is 🤔

Philip_P

Can't believe that your "friends" haven't already offered to split the bill!

snitterling

For many years when we were first married then had kids, a large group of us ate out together monthly. One of the group never married, the rest of us gradually produced kids then grandkids. The rule of thumb was always to divide the bill by the number of adults, or kids that didn’t eat free, then each family pay accordingly. It worked perfectly because as well as including the kids meals it meant we could include occasional guests. Now we all live too far apart to make it a regular event but when it's viable we still do it

Shebear

Is this a genuine question? It is obviously unfair and out of the question that you should sub everyone else. Just stop!