For many years, we've socialised as a couple with a large group, which now includes many children of all ages. We're the only couple that don't have kids. We've always split restaurant bills equally, yet now some of the older kids eat more than the grown-ups and soft drinks can cost the same as alcoholic ones. Should we continue to subsidise the others' children, or ask that the bills be divided more fairly and risk causing disharmony in the group?
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Money Moral Dilemma: Should we keep splitting restaurant bills with friends that have kids?

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I have a very dear friend and before covid we'd meet up at least once a month in quite a prestigious restaurant for a meal and a good chat. We always split the bill. But then I realised that she always ordered expensive meals and had at least three large glasses of wine (I know! I'd have been rolling around on the floor) while I tried to order fairly cheap meals and only had one small glass of wine and then switched to soft drinks since I'm not a great fan of alcohol.
I had a word with her and when she realised that she'd been having the lion's share and I'd been subsidising her, she was horrified. She is quite wealthy and has a partner and I'm not and I don't so I was (and still am) budgeting carefully and couldn't afford to do it any more.
After that we did have separate bills and it was never a problem either for us or for the staff of the restaurant. Then sadly, covid hit and we had to stop our meetings and haven't been able to restart as her husband is not too well.
But I think if you mention it and then say you'd prefer to pay your own bill separately, there shouldn't be a problem.
It's usually just a case of thoughtlessness, as with my friend. Sometimes others just don't consider someone else's position. It really shouldn't cause any 'disharmony' in the group if your friends really are friends. Ask for a separate bill, rather than dividing the big one. That's much fairer.
When on hols with our kids - we have our own bills unless a fast snack then we insist we pay and also pay on at least of the days if hols is more than a week.
Thanks
So if these people are your friends then their reaction may well be the same as Mal's friend if you quietly mention it. Perhaps before the next outing, pick one or two of the others to raise it with. You can blame cost of living if needed.
So as others have suggested, ask for your bill to be kept separate. If that upsets your friends, don't go out with them.
then ask if you can have yours on a separate bill or just tally up what you owe from the receipt. I’m surprised people expect you to pay for their kids it’s quite obviously unfair.
Hate how couples cheekily think a couple = one or a family = one.
I used to share equally with friends who were a couple but I was single. So for every round I bought two drinks but they came as a unit so bought me one drink back.
They didn't get that it wasn't fair so I just stopped doing it.
Suggest politely that you will pay your own - if this causes problems - they ain’t no friends!