We'd like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum. This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are - or become - political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

Money Moral Dilemma: Should we keep splitting restaurant bills with friends that have kids?

MSE_Kelvin
MSE_Kelvin Posts: 363 MSE Staff
Seventh Anniversary 10 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
edited 10 January 2023 at 2:29PM in Going out deals
This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

For many years, we've socialised as a couple with a large group, which now includes many children of all ages. We're the only couple that don't have kids. We've always split restaurant bills equally, yet now some of the older kids eat more than the grown-ups and soft drinks can cost the same as alcoholic ones. Should we continue to subsidise the others' children, or ask that the bills be divided more fairly and risk causing disharmony in the group?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

B) If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.
:/ Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.
«1345678

Comments

  • diystarter7
    diystarter7 Posts: 5,202 Forumite
    1,000 Posts First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Exactly the reason we don't do friends/family eat outs. When we do, we pay.
    When on hols with our kids - we have our own bills unless a fast snack then we insist we pay and also pay on  at least of the days if hols is more than a week.

    Thanks
  • YBR
    YBR Posts: 591 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Posts Mortgage-free Glee! Name Dropper
    Mention it, and discuss whether to pay separately or split the bill per head rather than per family.
  • NBLondon
    NBLondon Posts: 5,617 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    If it's been happening for many years - the others may not have noticed that you are effectively subsidising their kids; especially if teenagers are now costing as much as the parents.

    So if these people are your friends then their reaction may well be the same as Mal's friend if you quietly mention it.  Perhaps before the next outing, pick one or two of the others to raise it with.  You can blame cost of living if needed.
    I need to think of something new here...
  • REJP
    REJP Posts: 325 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper
    Politely point out that you should not be paying for their children to eat and drink.  You might be unpleasantly surprised if you check the prices of soft drinks, in my local a pint of Coca Cola costs more than a pint of best bitter.
    So as others have suggested, ask for your bill to be kept separate.   If that upsets your friends, don't go out with them.
  • LP53
    LP53 Posts: 30 Forumite
    Third Anniversary 10 Posts
    I would say we’re actually going to pay for our own as there’s only us 2 and we’re getting the raw end of the deal or it’s becoming a little expensive I’m sure everyone’s understands.
    then ask if you can have yours on a separate  bill or just tally up what you owe from the receipt. I’m surprised people expect you to pay for their kids it’s quite obviously unfair.

  • bradavon
    bradavon Posts: 46 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    No!

    Hate how couples cheekily think a couple = one or a family = one.

    I used to share equally with friends who were a couple but I was single. So for every round I bought two drinks but they came as a unit so bought me one drink back.

    They didn't get that it wasn't fair so I just stopped doing it.
  • addyann
    addyann Posts: 44 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    Pay your own bill. 
  • John_Gray
    John_Gray Posts: 5,830 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    If you're rich enough to eat out, then you can afford to pay for everyone.
    Of course, the same applies to your friends.   :)
  • Not a chance. My wife and I drink little, so lose out on sharing but don’t mind this (within reason!). Your scenario means they are ‘extracting the drink’!

    Suggest politely that you will pay your own - if this causes problems - they ain’t no friends! 
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 346.7K Banking & Borrowing
  • 251.4K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 451.4K Spending & Discounts
  • 238.9K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 614.3K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 174.8K Life & Family
  • 252.1K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.