Progress not Perfection

Chrystal

Sorry SA but I've got to ask... as Mr SA is an accident waiting to happen why is there a lit candle where he can knock it over?

Sun_Addict

Chrystal said:

Sorry SA but I've got to ask... as Mr SA is an accident waiting to happen why is there a lit candle where he can knock it over?

He lit it and put it on the coffee table. I didn’t know because I was cooking dinner at the time. 

WinterWarrior

You really can’t win, it’s not like you can toddler proof your house from MrSA 😢

enthusiasticsaver

Goodness half your life is spent clearing up after Mr SA.  I would be tempted to hide your candles and matches or lighters etc before he burns the house down. 

Sun_Addict

That's Monday done. Have been in the office today, it was good to get some time away from Mr SA even if it was work.

Another mess to clean up after him this morning in the bedroom including yet another change of sheet. I'm really losing the plot with him right now, I don't know why he's being so challenging. You can still see marks on the living room floor despite me getting all the wax off, it might be a case of keep going over it a few times. I can't imagine scraping it with the stripping knife has done it much good. 

I need to check finances and make sure all is on track. Not a NSD as I've been to L*dl on the way home. I picked up those loafers for Mr SA but begrudge giving them to him right now. 

I had a quick look at respite care but it seems to be for me to go away for a couple of days. What I want is for him to go somewhere for a couple of days so I can have some time without him at home. 

foxgloves

Oh dear, @Sun_Addict, I do wish things could be different for you. It's such a difficult situation. I'm sure that Mr SA would like to be as he was before he was ill & without the brain injury after effects, & of course, you didn't expect you'd be in this situation either. It's a lot of work & stress for you & I don't know how you keep going with full-time work as well as the caring duties at home. Could Mr SA not strip a sheet off the bed & put it in the washing machine, or would the clear-up not be to your level of hygiene? I'm just trying to think of any little thing which might help, but I would be the first to admit I have no lived experience of being a carer or living with a brain-injured person. 
It seems fairly pointless for you to go away on a respite break yourself, when what you need is some you-time in your own home. I used to know someone who was employed by a care agency & her role wasn't personal care, but to take the people she visited out to wherever they wanted or needed to go......this could be shopping, a social club, whatever. Would something like this be possible to give Mr SA a change of scene & some company, while you could enjoy a regular afternoon or evening by yourself? I hope you don't come on your diary & feel frustrated at all our continual suggestions......I think it is just sounding like bloody hard work for you with little in the way of let-up.
F x

Cherryfudge

In our area, I think Extra Care housing has a few beds for respite care in-house. My Father in Law used one for a while when he came out of hospital. I don't know if it's the same country-wide but it may be worth enquiring. Not all those beds are for older people, in fact I think I've come across a few younger people using them over the years, particularly after illness of accident has left them adjusting to a disability.

Ignore this if I'm speaking out of turn but your use of the phrase 'I don't know why he's being so challenging' is interesting. I can't tell (not knowing him) how much is deliberate and how much is the result of the brain injury, but this suggests the balance is towards it being deliberate.

I can see there's an impasse with him needing support and not accepting it, and I see as well that things have escalated recently. I have a feeling you're already in touch with the Carers' association, but if you aren't, I wonder if they can advise? Taking a break | Carers UK

It seems to me you are doing all you can to give yourself planned breaks, but the pressure is building. It also looks as though your doctor isn't very forthcoming, which is where I'd usually suggest going. If your daughter has any thoughts on the matter, might she be useful in terms of telling her dad he needs some time away? I think you said she's tougher on him than you are.

slm6002

Do you think the extra accidents are because of his current infection.  He has been on antibiotics for a few days now so it should be clearing.  Maybe if it continues maybe another talk to the Drs saying things might not have cleared up as yet

milann

Very frustrating for you SA. Sending positive vibes 👍

Willowtree222

I once spilled wax on the floor and I read that using an iron over a thick towel you don't mind ruining is a way of getting the way to melt and then stick to the towel. 

Make sure it's a thick towel though otherwise it will burn the carpet. I folded my towel over and tried it in a corner that was covered by furniture. It did work though. 
X