Progress not Perfection

Blackcats

I'm sorry I haven't got any suggestions as to how you can find any options to help you.
You do so well but you must be reaching the end of your tether now.
could you fake a requirement for overnight travel for work and go away for a night in a hotel/spa with a friend
I know it's absolutely not solving the longer term problem but it's a break for you.

Sun_Addict

Thank you for all your suggestions and advice. It is much appreciated. 

I am in touch with Carers UK @Cherryfudge, they tend to offer things like gym membership and support groups. The wondering about the reason behind his behaviour I was thinking along the lines of when he banged his head or the UTI combined with the original brain injury. It’s hard to tell. A lot of the accidents happen when he’s careless and he seems to be completely unconcerned about the havoc he’s causing. There’s never an apology or explanation or any attempt to help clear up. I think this could be because the part of his brain that’s damaged controls emotions. 

He wouldn’t be able to change the sheets wash them or clear up @foxgloves. He’s very unsteady on his feet at the best of times, he can’t bend and his back is always hurting. 

I’m just hoping this cycle of accidents will end soon and I’ll have a quiet period for a while 🤞Things tend to go in cycles with him. 

The young cat is driving me nuts constantly hunting and catching frogs. This afternoon’s storm seems to have brought loads of them out. I’ve lost count of how many I’ve rescued from her. I’m trying to get her to come in but no amount of treats are worth it to her. 

Buffythedebtslayer

I do wonder if there is something in the air at the moment, Mr SA is being tricky, Mum is being tricky, my best mate's daughter is being an utter mare and there isn't a clear reason for any of it. 

Could it be the hot weather? 

I don't have your patience SA and have been having various hissy fits in the kitchen, furiously washing up and what not. 

XXX 

katsu

I don't think you have to go away in your respite. It's so you can get a break from him. 

And you can tell them you are traveling locally

Chrystal

SA with regards to respite, you shouldn't have to leave home. 
Are you entitled to financial help from your County Council for help with respite?  I used to get £4K a year towards respite care and it could be used as I saw fit, but at that time we were on pension credit, and our Council are really good. 

Care homes often take respite patients, although they vary in what they offer I think. 
OH goes to ReVitalise, which has a swimming pool, evening entertainment, with a bar, and trips out (special buses for wheelchairs/scooters) during the day. He likes the Southport one, and DSIL takes him down and picks him up to bring him home.

Having said that I do realise the Mr SA doesn't seem to be reasonable when it comes to what you need, rather than what he wants, so knowing something is possible and making it happen are two different things.
I really wish things were easier for you.  (((hugs))) XX

evebeme

I know Mr SA hates continence products but the time has come to tell him that it's that or you ship him off to..(you pick where) Be firm. The alternate is that someday you'll crack under all the pressure.

Sun_Addict

evebeme said:

I know Mr SA hates continence products but the time has come to tell him that it's that or you ship him off to..(you pick where) Be firm. The alternate is that someday you'll crack under all the pressure.

I've insisted he use them now and he actually agrees.

poppy811

So pleased to hear that, it will make a big difference to you both.  Perhaps introduce another change when this is firmly embedded as the norm

milann

Him agreeing to use products is a step in the right direction, at least. Hang on in there.

Sun_Addict

Happy Tuesday, another lovely day after last night's storm.

WFH today. Mr M delivery has been packed away. 

The canvas shoes don't fit Mr SA so will have to go back. He's insisting I take them back today and get a bigger size but reminded him I'm working and will return them tomorrow when I'm in the office and passing L*dl anyway. They don't do a bigger size so he's out of luck I'm afraid.

I was supposed to be meeting friends for lunch on Friday but we've had to rearrange it for the following Friday. I was going to change my day's leave but have decided to keep it in place. I haven't said anything to him yet but I might take Mr SA into town to fetch a pair of canvas shoes and then straight back home. Otherwise he'll be on about it constantly until I crack under the strain. I could get some online but his feet are odd shaped and very wide, he really needs to try them on. The trouble is there are so few places in town that sells things to fit him. Every summer without fail this canvas shoe pester comes up. 

The £25 cashout from Opinium has finally hit my bank so that will be added to the June surveys pot. I'm well on track to hit over £50 this month. 

Today's exercise will be taking the dog on the park later before it gets too hot, bums & tums at lunchtime and resistance bands tonight. 

I'm going to give the kitchen a good clean today after work. I also need to apply flea treatment to all the furries. 

Tonight's dinner is an old favourite Spanish style butterbean stew, will make two portions and take the other to work tomorrow for lunch.