Progress not Perfection

jwil

I don't think anyone would think you are controlling, we've seen the consequences you have to deal with!

Lovely to get the gift vouvher from work.

Willowtree222

I agree, you are looking after him and ensuring he doesn't have adverse reactions. Nothing controlling about that at all.

Lovely that you have been recognised again x

Cherryfudge

I think if he wanted it enough for its own sake, he'd go down the off licence, so the logic is he doesn't like not being in charge of it. You aren't stopping him altogether and he has his own money if he choses to spend it or send someone for it.

If he had a/f or a beer he doesn't like, and mixed it with his favourite, I assume it would dilute the taste for him - would that mean he threw the lot out and grumbled? Or would he drink it anyway, but enjoy it less? I remember my Dad, who used to smoke a pipe, switched to herbal tobacco (whatever that was), and didn't like it so gave up smoking. I think that the aim, though, so it probably wouldn't work on someone whose aim is to have his beer and wash it down with another!

Sorry, I'm not finding a way for you to win here, am I?

P.S. Now I am thinking of ridiculous hiding place for beer… You don't think behind the bath panel would be a good idea, do you? 😁My favourite would be inside the base of his chair…

I had better let you get on with your work, and get back to mine.

Makingabobor2

No, of course you are not being controlling. You are doing what is best for him, but he doesn't see that. Whether he doesn't want to see it, or doesn't have the capacity, I'm not sure. But you are definitely doing what is best for him.

Baileys_Babe

No you are not being controlling you are taking care of him as he is unable or unwilling to manage his intake

beanielou

Absolutely do not think that you are being controlling.

liselle

He is the one being controlling, albeit not wittingly.

Little bathroom bin any good for hiding?

Sun_Addict

Morning all, happy Friday eve.

WFH again today so had my lovely relaxing start to the day.

The beer has been hidden in the only place I've had success with so far - the storage box in a walk in cupboard in the bedroom. I've covered it with spare bedding, it's a bit of a faff to get to it for me which means it would be a lot more faff for him to access. The things I have to do!

Today's exercise will be dog walking later, strength training at lunchtime and Zumba tonight.

It's the monthly park volunteers meeting tonight in the local pub. I haven't been for a couple of months as I just didn't feel like trekking out in the dark and cold but I feel I should make the effort tonight. I'll see how I feel later. I will admit I've been ignoring What's App messages because I don't want to get too involved at the moment other than litter picking. However when I retire I might be able to help out more so I want to stay in the loop.

I finally got round to ordering the birthday cards last night so another thing ticked off that had rolled over from the Sunday to do list.

I still need to contact a tree surgeon. Today's task will be to find some recommended ones on the local FB groups and contact them. I've found some great tradesmen via those groups.

Sent £150 to the P Christmas Saver.

If I don't go to the park meeting it will be a NSD.

Sunshine_girl2

SA we have a family friend who had to hide beer because the DH had dementia. She used to put some in a garden shed and her best place was the boot of the car I bet that bubbled up when it was opened .
Well done on your voucher you are very well thought of .

EssexHebridean

There is a big difference between being controlling for controlling's sake (abusive behaviour) and in controlling factors for his own wellbeing. Look at it this way - if he was an alcoholic on the brink of serious medical consequences if he continued to drink, the decision would be a straight no-brainer wouldn't it - no alcohol in the house, requests to anyone visiting to not bring booze, and when eating out, a choice to eat somewhere that is unlicensed. That isn't "being controlling" - it's making decisions which assist the person affected in stopping their self-harming behaviour. With MrSA, drinking above a certain amount makes him ill - regardless of what the quantities and the manifestation of "ill" are - so you are making a decision which assists HIM in not making himself ill.

Go to the park meeting - it's something that you always enjoy when you're there in spite of in advance saying you don't know whether you'll want to go out in the cold, and doing things on your own at varying times of day is something you need to hold on to with retirement in the frame - that would be my take on it.