NST January 2023 Best Possible Me

grandmanerd

Saturday 7th January 2023

facethemusic If you don't need it, give it away to someone who does need it. Several times I've ended up with the'residue' of clearing a family member's home - not anything valuable or sentimental, just ordinary stuff. But I've not kept it long - when someone who was starting from scratch (someone a friend or neighbour was helping) I've been happy to hand over a kettle that works, tea towels, a couple of pans, oddments of mismatched cutlery. Those helped included people moving into the rented house next door (previous rented house had severe damp and their wardrobes etc had fallen to pieces when they tried to move them),  a family whose house burnt to the ground (local library co-ordinated that one - they only had the clothes they were wearing when the firemen got them out), people setting up home for the first time.

Things can rot away whilst they're being stored (mum had 2 sewing machines that she hadn't used in over 20 years, but things like camping equipment or anything stored where you have a subsequent accident - a leak that floods a cupboard or a mouse infestation in a shed) or may no longer be appropriate (saving clothes for when you can fit in them again but they look peculiar or your shape isn't the same as it was).

If stuff is getting in your way on a daily basis your need for space, peace and clarity is more important than the value of the item. If you can't get over how much it cost, keeping it in a cupboard or on a shelf won't bring your money back. Clutter Clarity  says we need to get rid of anything the 'does not add value to your life now'. She also advocates taking your time over deciding exactly what you do want in your life now.

Saving things for Justin Case is living in fear. You don't trust that 'the universe' (early Feng Shui principle) will provide when you need something. If you break your ankle and the hospital lends you a pair of crutches during recovery, you're supposed to take them back. You can't hang onto them in anticipation (fear) of breaking your ankle again next year or in 10 years. So pass on old but working appliances (sell, freegle, donate) and let someone else make use of the remaining utility of that item (and a good cause benefit from the sale of it).

Living surrounded by old broken things isn't good for you - you can start to feel old, broken and unwanted yourself. I do understand that fear of needing to hold onto things - for many years I saved pieces of broken furniture behind wardrobes and under beds because when something else broke I needed to be able to find a suitable piece of board to be able to repair it and I often didn't have the money to be able to go and buy it from the diy store. 

I do reuse and repurpose as much as possible - my previous garden fence was made from posts used for screeding on a building site and the slats came from an internal wall someone had taken down. I've reused discarded bins, the frame for an old wooden ironing board and broken garden tools for plant support/ base for attaching trellis and any holes with buckets, washing up bowls, plastic, pot or metal items as plant containers.

You might even find treasure. in the past week I've found £8.30 (mainly in 20p coins - set aside when I filled two bags of coins for collection boxes at the beginning of December), one of my grabber sticks (roughly where I thought it was but it had fallen sideways and was under a layer of clothes (taken from the dryer but not taken back where they belonged), a pile of pizza boxes (DS3 had collected them but then left them near the back door and subsequently fallen back on the floor) a couple of cooking pots that had been soaked several times and then moved 'out of the way' (probably DS3 again) and more clothes at the bottom. I've also found some of both filters for my CPAP machine (ordered more but 'made do' whilst at DS1's).

You might even find the life you want or the house of your dreams buried under all that clutter (and cleaning and maintenance time should reduce significantly).

BadBookkeeper

Quick update for yesterday:

Not an NSD as bought a recipe book I had my eye on at half price so still 2/15.

Productive day in the office.  Glad it was Friday felt a long week.

Still have toothache so using painkillers.  

Lost 2.75lbs out of my 23 for 2023 goal.  Did have alcohol. 

Actually looking forward to a cleaning day today!

As for decluttering, I basically tidy stuff I haven’t used and if it’s still untouched by the time I declutter that room again it goes.  I also have a ‘buy something new, something has to go’ rule.  I do keep clothes longer than I should but every now and again I put unworn clothes in the front of my wardrobe with an intention of ‘I’ll wear that next time I go to the……’ if I put it on and wear it I keep it, if I change, it goes if that makes sense.

I’ll pop back with an update on today later.  Have a good day. 

thriftylass

Good morning, another dreich day here so a lazy start. letting everyone else sleep in. Should be nice later and will go out then. 

In the meantime I'll clean up a bit and stick a beef stew in the slow cooker for tonight. 

@facethemusic I struggle with that too but what helps is sort the same let's say cupboard again after 6 months as others suggested. Some things definitely fall under the category "might need later" Iike sowing machine. I.e. no time just now but too expensive to get rid. That toastie maker was a good idea but I'm not really using it again, so it goes. I'm struggling more with not having control over other people's stuff in this house. Drives me nuts.Tried to ziffit the DVDs the other day and DH went through the box only to put 75% back, grrrr. I'm bad for keeping all the Rebus novels I read. Got them all will never read them again but it looks nice on the shelves ☺️

apple_muncher

thriftylass, I had all the Robert Ludlam books for a fair few years. I did re-read them several times, but got to the point where I knew what was coming next, I was that familiar with the plots! So I gave them all to the ch shop in the end. Dc's DVD collection was growing and they lived on the same bookshelves as my books, so I like to think I was super altruistic in giving dc more space 🤣🤣🤣.

Shrewbie

I am sorry I am so late to the party! here are my dreams and ideals and goals to make them happen. On the one hand, I don’t remember ever feeling this motivated at the start to a year. On the other hand I think my 1000 ideas and plans could overwhelm me if I’m not careful. So I’m going to experiment with some things and won’t beat myself up if the habits don’t stick straight away.

Hugs to poorly turtles. @toni’s friend I hope the tests go well, we are definitely there with you in spirit! @apple I’ve been getting my fill in of irish coffees this week! 

Dreams and ideals

- House & travel

Savings goal towards travel and house deposit. I have set a savings target for 2023.

I have been saving for a house deposit for a few years but haven't made as much progress as I'd like. Would like to be more intentional with my saving this year.

- Relationships

Continue to cultivate my relationships and find new ways of doing this. I am reading a book about digital minimalism which encourages you to re-evaluate your relationships in terms of online/offline. In 2023 I want to organise phone calls instead of using texts so much to speak to friends and family in UK, and make more effort to see the friends I have here in person.

- Writing

Write every day. It clears my mind and focuses me. I do feel I have a book "in me" and would like to develop my writing skills. I'll write every day in 2023 whether that's my journal, morning pages, or the letters I'm going to write instead of texts.

- Pay rise

I plan to ask for a pay rise this year at work. I have written out a plan of what I am going to do to achieve this.

- Health

I want to increase my overall flexibility and strength. I want to be able to do the splits in 2023! This means I have to train flexibility every day.

I will meditate every day for at least 20 mins

I will exercise at least 4 times per week 

Go outside for 10 mins early in the day to help regulate circadian rhythm, even if this means taking a 10 min break from work.

I am going to take a “tactical break” of 90 days from alcohol and social media. I’ve already started with the social media break and will start with the alch break tomorrow.  I don’t want to necessarily quit these things forever but feel I need a break to see what happens and be able to re-evaluate my relationships with these things, then reintroduce them in the future but in an optimised way, on my own terms. 

I also want to

 - meal plan and batch cook

- prepare clothes the night before work

- put my phone away in a drawer from 9pm to 8am.

- only reply to whatsapps once a week (apart from family and perhaps close friends
- avoid sugar during the week
- aim for 15 NSDs (although I have none as yet)

Practical

 I did this exercise and it was super helpful.  I am planning to move house this year, friends and family are coming to visit which will be lovely, and I want to take trips to Seville, Italy and the Canaries. Oh and I have to budget for UK holidays too. Need to set budgets for this.

 Audit

this was also very helpful. Last year I made a lot of progress with cutting down on alcohol especially, made huge progress with my fitness (I now exercise most days in some way), worked hard on developing my relationships. 

 Assess what you have and give thanks daily - will do! I am grateful for the festivities still continuing in Spain up to yesterday (Kings day), for bf clearing away the christmas tree and for our Irish “women’s christmas” yesterday with some friends which was a laugh. We played “rebatinga” where you give one good present and 3 carp ones. Someone was gifted a brick *not from me!!. And it meant I got to declutter some unwanted presents from the house! My throat is sore from all the shouting and laughing.

 

thriftylass

apple_muncher said:

thriftylass, I had all the Robert Ludlam books for a fair few years. I did re-read them several times, but got to the point where I knew what was coming next, I was that familiar with the plots! So I gave them all to the ch shop in the end. Dc's DVD collection was growing and they lived on the same bookshelves as my books, so I like to think I was super altruistic in giving dc more space 🤣🤣🤣.

I'm so bad at remembering plots I should probably re-read them. Save money on books 🤣. Not read properly in years, started again though as part of the journey to a better me and finished my first book of the year. I love book shops and last year discovered this quirky cheap second hand one near work. Better set a budget though so it doesn't become a new vice, lol

Need to head to shops again. Will have to learn to check more thoroughly, forgot oil, cat food, eggs. I should make a master list of anything we could need and I have to check stocks before doing the weekly shop as I'm clearly out of practice. Budget wise still looking good though 

facethemusic

7/1 and NSD 5, I did order something online for my parents but as my mum has already transferred the money into my bank account I'm not counting it! I'm home now and no plans to go out again so no opportunity to spend anything. 
Thank you @grandmanerd and @thriftylass, I'm pretty good at throwing out/recycling broken things. It's things like curtain hooks/bits to hold up curtain rails, all of my rooms have curtains. I have a whole box of "spares"- I need to just get rid but I "might" change the curtain rails and need the bits- totally stupid as if I bought a new curtain rail it would come with all the bits I need! Writing that down has triggered me to go and empty that box, it will be gone! Sorry for the long winded post to get there! 
I have also put a bottle of Baileys in the car, I was given it for Christmas and I don't drink it, so it can go to work and someone will take it home and enjoy it. Much better than it sitting in my cupboard for months until I remember to donate it to a bottle stall somewhere! 
DD wants to "do something" might see if we can use up a craft kit, the finished product is sure to take up less space than the box it is in! 

Toni'sfriend

I sent Himself to do the shopping today with a list. Did he stick to it? No, course he didn't! But at least what he overbought will be used. I really, really didn't need any more reduced salmon fillets though. 

Whilst he was out I changed to bedding, did the washing and caught up on a few little five minute jobs. I've rearranged some furniture in the living room and it looks a lot nicer and more spacious. Don't know why I didn't think of it before. Also made a soup which will do lunch for at least the next couple of days.

Interesting posts on decluttering, So many people in the same position as me. A partner who cannot bare to part with things even if they are broken and will never be used again.  One thing that really struck home was Grandmanerd talking about mismatched cutlery, etc. When my Mother passed away nine years ago we contacted a "charity" run by our local council to ask if they could take some furniture, white goods, etc. Whilst taking to the driver of the van he said they used the items for people who were being given social housing for various reasons (victims of domestic abuse, coming out of homelessness, coming our of care, etc). I asked him if they would take anything else. He went anyway with, bedding, curtains, pots. pans. cutlery. crockery, a toaster, kettle, etc, etc, etc. I don't know if every local authority does this but it's worth finding out. 

So, we had more soup and bread rolls from the freezer (I love soup) for lunch and we're having sausage and mash (mash was in the freezer as well) for dinner. Getting there!

Didn't quite finish my book last night. I was so tired I fell asleep during a chapter. Probably tonight,

BadBookkeeper

Evening turtles,

Busy morning cleaning the house, lovely when it’s all done.  

Went for a walk this afternoon at local woodland park.  DS wanted a flapjack from the cafe, made him buy it himself so I could claim NSD 3/15!  It was a massive slice so all 3 of us had a bit!!

Paracetamol and ibuprofen are not working on my toothache today.  

No takeaway tonight DH is cooking from stores so will probably enjoy it more.

Starting to plan and think about our holidays and time off work.  Our favourite campsite are booked for the dates we want, we also fancy a cottage by the sea for new year but can’t find any thing yet.

Achieved my £23 personal spends a week for 2023 and have 4p left!

DawnW

Evening all

NSD #5 for me today - I haven't been anywhere. I got up late after several broken nights due to feeling poorly, and had grandchildren over for the afternoon. I read to the little one upstairs, while the older one 'helped' OH to prep some pheasants he had been given, then I made them what they wanted to eat (one wanted pasta, the other just toast) and they watched TV till their Dad came to pick them up. I am still not feeling great, so was grateful that they were good, and not nearly so demanding as they sometimes are  

Made naan pizzas for dinner, which we had with HM coleslaw, very easy and tasty too.

I shan't be late to bed... but must put the stuff that little GS got out of the eaves cupboard back before I climb into bed. I have banished myself to the spare room with my germs. It is a bit of a dumping ground, with toys, spare chairs and my sales stuff (an endless source of fascination to the little ones) but normally kept reasonably tidy. Tonight however I need to rehome a dolls' pram, a stuffed donkey on wheels with a wonky ear, a small suitcase and a painted milk churn before I can turn in