Sister has asked me to lend money - how to deal with it

easy

OK, here goes... 
My sister has always lived beyond her means,  mortgaged to the hilt,  credit cards up to their limits,  borrowing from parents. 
A few years ago she had to sell her big-ish house because she could no longer meet the mortgage payments.  Building soc forced the sale. 

She retired early due to disability,  her husband now has Alzheimer's,  which is progressing quite quickly. 
Last year our mum died,  and we were both lucky enough to inherit a sum of money,  obviously the inheritance was shared equally.  Not a vast fortune, but a comfortable sum. 

Since then I put my money away -  I want to buy a bungalow when I retire,  hopefully in the next 3 - 5 years. I'm still supporting my student son,  so still working full time aged 62.
Sister has had several short holidays in the last 18 months since Mum died , plus one VERY big one,  and about to go abroad on an expensive holiday for 2 weeks over christmas.  She also goes out for meals a lot.  She says they need to go out and on hols while they still can.
But she has spent all her money.  She's asked me to lend her a sum of money,  a couple of K to help her pay some unexpected bills.  She says she will repay me early next year.  She has a plan .
My husband is incandescent with rage ...  I'm pretty pee'd off myself.   But I can't really say no at this stage - I know my mum would say don't leave her high and dry in a panic. 

Can anyone advise on how I tactfully say "This is a one-time only event.  I can't afford to lose what I am lending now,  and I'm definitely NOT going to lend any more".

I don't want to fall out with her or get resentful  

Any ideas ??

GrumpyDil

Probably won't help you but I'm with your husband and would say no. Lending money to family will end in tears and you have to assume it won't be paid back. 

RAS

I think you are going to resent your sister's borrowing. I seriously doubt you will ever see that £2k again, and she'll be back by Valentine's day wanting more.

Meantime lock that inheritance up in some 3-year fixed savings accounts. And explain you can't access it for years.

Boat_to_Bolivia

I really don't think you should lend her the money, so the question of how you say this is the first and last time, would be moot.

Do you really think she will repay you?

sammyjammy

You wouldn't be falling out with her, she would be falling out with you, just to be clear.  I would just say no, I don't feel comfortable with that but if you need to make excuses tell her you are supporting your son and your inheritance is not accessible.

If you lend her this money she will certainly not listen to anything you say about it being a one off, she will ask again and in all likelihood you will lend again as the reasons above will still apply.  Please don't lend the money, if you are desperate tell her your husband won't let you!

easy

Boat_to_Bolivia said:

I really don't think you should lend her the money, so the question of how you say this is the first and last time, would be moot.

Do you really think she will repay you?

In all honesty,  probably not.  She used to borrow money from Mum  ...  a few months later Mum would give me some money,  saying my sis had borrowd this much,  and wasn't going to pay it back,  so she gave me the same amount to make sure it was fair.  
In the end Mum had to say no,  cos she didn't have liquid assets left.

Boat_to_Bolivia

easy said:

Boat_to_Bolivia said:

I really don't think you should lend her the money, so the question of how you say this is the first and last time, would be moot.

Do you really think she will repay you?

In all honesty,  probably not.  She used to borrow money from Mum  ...  a few months later Mum would give me some money,  saying my sis had borrowd this much,  and wasn't going to pay it back,  so she gave me the same amount to make sure it was fair.  
In the end Mum had to say no,  cos she didn't have liquid assets left.

Aww bless your Mum.

But you need to learn from that and say a firm NO to your sister.

If she takes it badly and falls out with you, that is her doing, not yours.

She needs to learn to live within her means not scrounge off others.

Don't lend her the money, you'll never see it again.

herebeme

It’s actually not a kindness to enable her sort of behaviour. Your mum, for all her good intentions, has not helped your sister at all by constantly bailing her out. Don’t make the same mistake. These forums are full of diaries of people that have pulled themselves out of huge debt and transformed their attitude to finances. Anyone can do it, but they won’t do it if there’s an easier way out. 

SaverRate

Please say no to her you wont see that money ever again. If you need to use the excuse that its locked in a 3 year savings account like what someone has said above or whatever then please do that

Billxx

Ask her to prove she can pay it back, ie that her income exceeds her normal expenditure.  This might make her do a budget, at which point she may realise that she needs to take control of her finances.

RobM99

The word 'lend' implies repayment.