Very Different Sex Drives

D-Manc

No no no.. not getting drunk.. Just makes you want to puke.. If you live together alone, cant you just ravish her as you walk through the door... gets me everytime my OH does it...

larmy16

Just skimmed through the thread, so not sure if the OP has children or not? Does it not work like this in the animal sense. Woman uses her sexual wiles to entice male to provide a child, and then once she has said child, her attraction for the donor goes on the wane.

I know psychologically it is a bit different. In a relationship there has to be compromise. It is difficult though because unless sexual desire is genuine, it really is like another job to be done!

I think the OP needs to talk this through with his lady. Otherwise the problem will just escalate and he may be tempted elsewhere which would ruin their relationship anyway.

Good luck OP.

antronella

From my understanding of this, and reading all the posts, the OP has not been demanding sex 3 times a day! He may have said that in an ideal world that is what he would like, but that is hardly the same. Also, he has said that he is very affectionate at other times and not just as a prelude to sex.

My husband and I went through a very similar thing to be honest. Once we were living together and were able to 'do it' whenever we liked..I just went off the idea. And that was before we had kids!! Also once the problem had been spoken about, it became such an issue that it had the effect of turning me off even more!

Not sure what the answer is, except to carry on being loving, in other ways..and try to put the issue away for a while. Once the pressure is off, things may improve. If I had been presented with ginseng or anything else it would only have served to put me off even more! In our case things did improve, however....wish i could whisper this!...it took years before my sex drive increased (..but it did!) Sorry this is not very heartening news for the OP, I do sympathise (with you and your wife!).

culpepper

I cant help thinking that asking how you can improve 'her' attitude is a bit like trying to do a scientific experiment on someone without their consent.
The 3 times a day thing sounds far more abnormal to me than her only wanting to participate a couple of times a month.
For me marriage is about sharing your whole life with your best friend.
That includes affection ofcourse but there are so many other aspects too.
To expect someone to always comply just because they are your marriage partner is a bit unfair and also hugely offputting.
Imagine if she was a scrabble fiend and you were expected to play her at scrabble 3 times a day or even once every day of the week for ever. she loves the game and you are only occasionally glad to be playing. I think that is how she must see sex.
I imagine if you keep up the pressure on her to cooperate, she will refuse completely eventually and you will discover that a couple of times a month was actually not so bad.

Triker

I'm wondering more about of the 'confession' by the OP's partner that she basically lied to get him. I suspect that this had had more of an impact because it sounds pretty final doesn't it, yep I lied about the amount of sex I enjoy with you, got you now, tough!

Only the OP will know what will work and what can be tried but I think the best way is to get over the deception and see where, as a couple, they can move forward to.

Good luck.

privateposter

I wasn't going to post again because 90% of you either can't read, don't read or are too busy with your own pre-conceived agendas to actually understand what anyone else is saying. However, just to alter 2 factual inaccuracies that "the angry mob" have invented - first, we are not married and second I have never said I pressure into sex 3 times a day and have actually clearly stated that this was actually part joke, part exagerration. I actually say that once a day would probably be ideal for me and have never mentioned pressuring her for that. To quickly address a few more issues (that I have already actually addressed), we do cuddle a lot, i do my share of the housework (and 95% of the cooking actually!), I have said that I know it's not her that's "abnormal" and that the problem is ours, not hers. For all you idiots who want to continue talking !!!! that has nothing to do with my position, feel free, you're mildy amusing and lastly thanks for a few sensible PMs I've had.

Triker

privateposter wrote: »

I wasn't going to post again because 90% of you either can't read, don't read or are too busy with your own pre-conceived agendas to actually understand what anyone else is saying. However, just to alter 2 factual inaccuracies that "the angry mob" have invented - first, we are not married and second I have never said I pressure into sex 3 times a day and have actually clearly stated that this was actually part joke, part exagerration. I actually say that once a day would probably be ideal for me and have never mentioned pressuring her for that. To quickly address a few more issues (that I have already actually addressed), we do cuddle a lot, i do my share of the housework (and 95% of the cooking actually!), I have said that I know it's not her that's "abnormal" and that the problem is ours, not hers. For all you idiots who want to continue talking !!!! that has nothing to do with my position, feel free, you're mildy amusing and lastly thanks for a few sensible PMs I've had.

You sound frustrated.:p

relay

Maybe he's not getting enough? LOL:rotfl:

Snazzy

Just a thought, is she on the pill? This can decrease your sex drive.

Bogof_Babe

Maybe she secretly wants a ring on her finger, to sort of seal the deal. .