Very Different Sex Drives

Jet

I really think 3 times a day is a bit unrealistic in a long term relationship.

could it be that she feels pressured about sex and feels that it's such an issue that it turns her off?

I think she might feel that you just want "sex" and not "her", if you see the difference.

privateposter

As said at the start, 3 times a week would be ok. 3 times a day was a slight joke and in the post above I have said i would probably ideally want onjce a day. The title of the thread is different sex drives - this is the issue, not that I don't hold her hand or she's stressed, or I'm crap in bed, or her dad didn't kiss her often enough. Any advice on the problem and how to deal with it would be most appreciated. Have any women used any herbal or otherwise medication to increase interest in sex or has anyone hay sort of counselling that might help in this issue. I do appreciate people trying to help but with all due respect your average cliches and dear diedrie advice I have already considered. I'm not giving thanks willy nilly anymore!

But thanks anyway

davetrousers

relay wrote: »

Slip some Viagra in her coa coa.

Is Viagra actually an aphrodisiac? I think this is a common misconception. Not sure what coa coa is, do you mean cocoa or coca cola?

tinkerbell84

my partner isn't getting any at the moment because he's become such a lazy g1t around the house. i don't see why i should run myself ragged and then reward him for sitting on his backside all night with sex.

Jet

privateposter wrote: »

As said at the start, 3 times a week would be ok. 3 times a day was a slight joke and in the post above I have said i would probably ideally want onjce a day. The title of the thread is different sex drives - this is the issue, not that I don't hold her hand or she's stressed, or I'm crap in bed, or her dad didn't kiss her often enough. Any advice on the problem and how to deal with it would be most appreciated. Have any women used any herbal or otherwise medication to increase interest in sex or has anyone hay sort of counselling that might help in this issue. I do appreciate people trying to help but with all due respect your average cliches and dear diedrie advice I have already considered. I'm not giving thanks willy nilly anymore!

But thanks anyway

But a womans sex drive WILL depend on her emotions and feelings. It's not a simple as giving her a tablet and hey presto.

Women's sex drives don't work in the same way as mens. :rolleyes:

privateposter

Agreed. But, as mentioned,

"Re work, stress etc, this would all fit, however, a few months ago, when we were talking about it she sort of admitted that she had never really been that bothered by sex. At the start, as said, everything was ok and I had mentioned to her that I thought sex was very important ina relationship (it is fundamentally how we define infidelity but this is another issue) and she agreed. It came out in this recent chat that she was just kind of pretending at this stage to make me happy/keep me/whatever. All the usual answers, complement her, cuddle, foreplay, etc i've tried (i do read women's magazines you know!) - it's more difficult than that. She has said that if she was just left she would probably want to have sex about once a month, whereas I would probbaly say once a day (i'm getting old now!)"

Dan_Thunder

Realistically, from the way you describe it, it wouldn't surprise me if she considered it more of a chore than you may well like.

Plus, people don't just 'have' lower sex drives. If she'd be happy with it just once a month then I'd suggest that there's more to it and that she's saying that it's purely a lower drive because it's a convenient answer.

It seems to me that your concern is more to do with your gratification in the relationship than your partner's. Obviously I could be wrong because it's just the way I've interpreted your posts, however is it not possible that your partner views it this way also?

davidscot

Have you tried just sitting on the sofa in a candlelit room and then perhaps putting a dvd on and asking her if she would like to try anything you see on it. Perhaps its a bit of the 'same old-same old' and sex is becoming routine for her. They do say variety is the spice of life

Clive_Woody

Have you tried getting her drunk?

Sure fire winner every time....

tinkerbell84

Dan_Thunder wrote: »

It seems to me that your concern is more to do with your gratification in the relationship than your partner's. Obviously I could be wrong because it's just the way I've interpreted your posts, however is it not possible that your partner views it this way also?

exactly. which is why i said what i said above.

it's not just about enjoying sex. my partner always says 'but you enjoy sex' when he's trying it on. i do, but i'm too annoyed by his laziness to have sex most of the time. besides i have toys

maybe your misses isnt happy about other aspects of your relationship OP.