Very Different Sex Drives

Carmina_Piranha_3

ann summers used to do a sponge vibrator, like this http://www.hensnightout.co.uk/proddetail.asp?prod=GIFT009
for in the bath.

haylibo

You sound like a really sensible bloke to actually think about this and post for help, others take far different routes.

I'm almost resigned to it now but thats not something i want to do.
Not a good place to get to over any issue in a relationship as there usually developes some lingering resentment. I'm not sure how much you can help another person 'recover' their sex drive. I know you say hers was possibly lower all along and she 'cooperated' more initially (I know that is a huge misquote but you get the gist) but I'm betting that hers has taken real decline. There are several things which can affect sex drive including stress, underlying issues such as abuse, body image etc and also the evidence of sex within our parents marriage which is delving a little deeper into the psych. aspect. If her parents weren't physically close then sexuality may not be a huge part of your partners' identity which may be worth talking about. I would be tempted to look at counselling and ask her to go along with you if you feel you could do it. It is healthy and normal to want to examine an incompatible sex life and you are not being some demanding, girlfriend bothering pervert lol.

If your gf is open to looking at this then there is lots of material out there, a search on any of the book seller sites should throw up interesting stuff. As a trainee nutritionist one area I would look to is diet. Check out Patrick Holford's site http://www.patrickholford.com/content.asp?id_Content=642 for some more information.
Personally I'm impressed at how open and fair you sound, doesn't sound like you have resorted to game playing or being churlish and I wish you all the best in sorting it all out at whatever pace. Don't shy away from talking to her for fear of bothering her unless she explicitly doesn't want to talk. The more communication the better I think.
BW
Hayles

privateposter

Thanks for that. I will definitely look into the nutrition thing as its something that interests me and she is feeling pretty run down generally so i think maybe iron supplements could be useful. Anyway, thanks a lot for the support. I was getting quite disallusioned with the whole idea of the forums in a way but the occasional reasoned, supportive post or PM has really nrestored my faith. Thanks again. Oh thats a third time in one post - i retract that last one.

haylibo

Thanks again. Oh thats a third time in one post - i retract that last one.

Too late lol.
A good multivitamin AND multimineral (biocare and quest I would trust) with a good level of B vitamins, lots of vitamin C (necessary as a support for iron uptake) and Zinc which is often overlooked but so important to many functions including sex drive. Zinc levels are affected by iron supplementation too so you would need to take it if taking iron (often overlooked). Low B vitamin and zinc levels are implicated in post natal depression - they have that big an impact on hormone balance. Another thing to watch for is blood sugar swings which is a whole paragraph in itself. Stresses mind and body.

Coincidentally or rather ironically, men lose a lot of zinc during ejaculation lol.
All the best x

miserly_mum

A lot of women aren't that bothered about sex and so assume their partner/BF/Hubby/ won't really mind or will get used to it.

These are usually the same women who are totally flabbergasted when their OH have affairs.

If you are not a very sexual person but are with a man that you love and is in every other way a good man/partner for gawd sake fake it at least once or twice a week.

A good man is hard to find nowadays

benb76

miserly_mum wrote: »

A lot of women aren't that bothered about sex and so assume their partner/BF/Hubby/ won't really mind or will get used to it.

These are usually the same women who are totally flabbergasted when their OH have affairs.

If you are not a very sexual person but are with a man that you love and is in every other way a good man/partner for gawd sake fake it at least once or twice a week.

A good man is hard to find nowadays

this is the most sensible post I've seen on this thread so far! :T too many women take their partners for granted and stop making the effort to keep the relationship alive, e.g. letting themselves get overweight. not making an effort in the bedroom dept. is just another symptom of this.

all healthy men like regular bedroom action, if they don't get it from their partners then at best they'll resort to !!!!!!, but in reality they'll eventually start finding the real thing elsewhere.

harryharp

benb76 wrote: »

this is the most sensible post I've seen on this thread so far! :T too many women take their partners for granted and stop making the effort to keep the relationship alive, e.g. letting themselves get overweight. not making an effort in the bedroom dept. is just another symptom of this.

all healthy men like regular bedroom action, if they don't get it from their partners then at best they'll resort to !!!!!!, but in reality they'll eventually start finding the real thing elsewhere.

Ben, would you really be happy if you thought your partner was 'faking it' once or twice a week just to keep you happy, or are you so shallow as for it not to matter?

benb76

I didn't say anything about faking it, women who don't let themselves go physically tend to maintain a healthy sex drive. Even in cases where they're not up to it initially, they tend to find that with a bit of effort they soon get into their stride.

any bloke who's ever dated a sporty lady will know what I mean!

harryharp

benb76 wrote: »

I didn't say anything about faking it, women who don't let themselves go physically tend to maintain a healthy sex drive. Even in cases where they're not up to it initially, they tend to find that with a bit of effort they soon get into their stride.

any bloke who's ever dated a sporty lady will no what I mean!

The post you were praising so much advocated 'faking it' once or twice a week!

Ms_Piggy_2

miserly_mum wrote: »

A lot of women aren't that bothered about sex and so assume their partner/BF/Hubby/ won't really mind or will get used to it.

These are usually the same women who are totally flabbergasted when their OH have affairs.

If you are not a very sexual person but are with a man that you love and is in every other way a good man/partner for gawd sake fake it at least once or twice a week.

A good man is hard to find nowadays

So open your legs in return for a 'good' man/home/security?
I thought that was prostitution not a mutually supportive and loving relationship