Diary of a 30-something idiot

dawnybabes

Awww here’s a (((hug))) from afar x 

foxandflowers

There is a horrible atmosphere in my house. Was almost glad to come to work to escape it, but I'm not really in the headspace to work, and therefore panicking as I have a review on Thursday and I am not sure it will go very well. 

Have been chasing up the personal license thing this morning, the only thing that is needed is an updated DBS, so will send off for that today. Part of me is wondering why I'm bothering. I'm pretty sure he's likely to leave anyway, and I can't really see past the whole... oh then I will be alone. And not have his family. Or his kids. In my life ever again. Which seems like rather a waste of seven years. It would be really strange to have Christmas by myself. Little One is going to her dad's this year, so I would genuinely be... with the dog. Who is honestly better company than the husband most days.

In money saving news;  I've brought a parcel to return to Amazon with me to work, so will be making a short expedition on lunch. I will be returning the other one that has been stashed behind the front door this evening. That should be £8.99 & £14.99 back to me. I got £20.46 returned this morning, as DPD broke the kitchen light they were supposed to be delivering. I reordered the same light on Saturday, and it was 40p cheaper. At least I can see in the kitchen now though. I need to go to Primarni soon and return three things there, and also package up the clothes Mr Fox bought that didn't fit.  

I need to do a Tesco order pretty soonish as we are running out of actual evening meals. My new budget means I can't go over £70 a week for groceries, which actually doesn't seem that unreasonable until I look at the actual cost of food, and then I just want to cry. I guess it's a good job I haven't got much of an appetite at present. 

Did you know if you go on Amazon you can click on order history and it will tell you how many orders you have made?
364 orders in 2021. 
363 orders in 2022. 
aand 208 orders so far in 2023. 

I dread to think how much money I've spent on there in the last ten years! That works out as an order a day, or near enough. Yuck. Time to put myself on an Amazon ban too. 

Bluegreen143

I’m thinking about an Amazon ban (except for kindle or audible books which you obviously can’t buy elsewhere, and I’m not likely to trade in my kindle for a different E-reader). It’s crazy how easy it is to just keep buying. No wonder they are such a successful business!

Another option is delete your cards off so you can’t order stuff without having to input everything- gives you a minute to think it through. 

While I see your point re the waste of seven years… you do run the risk of one day saying “I wish I hadn’t wasted 20 years”. Not telling you what to do, just I don’t necessarily think you can decide based on that sunk cost of time. It needs to be the right, supportive, caring relationship for you now. 

vampirotoothus

Hi Fox, I think you already feel alone? Christmas day isn't so bad, you can have a lovely dog walk, eat what you like (Indian or is that just me?) and watch anything you want on TV Sending hugs. PS Amazon is £1 per day for the last 2 years, shows how a little can add up. 

Debsnewbudget

Sending hugs. 

stymied

I don’t totally understand why you think he’ll leave based on needing to pay his way. Something did have to be said and I have my fingers crossed it will all work out.

His children are big enough to stay in touch with you voluntarily - even if things don’t work out with OH that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll lose them.

Prioritising yourself and your daughter is good, once you’re settled with a couple more friends in the area, hopefully you’ll feel less lonely xx

SuzeQStan

You are an amazing strong person - Mr Fox is spitting his dummy out because he’s realised the free ride is over and he doesn’t get to keep sponging off you.  

foxandflowers

We still aren't talking. I don't know what is going on. I feel like I am grieving a relationship that isn't over yet, but is in the trenches, having been fatally wounded, gasping out it's last breaths. I'm just so tired.

I did my Tesco order for the week. I budgeted £75 a week on groceries and it came in at £68.50. I got laundry pods (£7.20(!!)) but I just realised I forgot washing up liquid and loo roll. I should be able to get some Fairy for £6.50 though. On the menu is chicken wings x 2, spaghetti bolognese, chinese chicken thighs, salmon stir fry, bacon pasta bake & tuna mayo jacket potatoes. I also got coffee, fruit, bread, milk, crumpets, eggs & tea. I have plenty of supernoodles in the cupboard for lunch options. I long to have an oven again to be able to do macaroni cheese or lasagnas. I am pretty sure I could live off pasta for 80% of my diet. Which, if I am going to be serious about budgeting probably isn't a bad thing! 

I'm going to create a pot on Monzo called 'rollover' and use this for any money that I save out of my budget each week. So if my Groceries budget was £75, but I only spent £71, £4 goes into the pot. And then when the rollover pot hits £100 it gets transferred to the HYSA or PBs. Not sure which yet. But it all adds up doesn't it. And maybe if I can save myself £1000, I can then pay off some debts in one go. I'm sure I've got some low hanging fruit that I could clear. 

SuzeQStan

Hey Fox - why don’t you try one o the discounters for your laundry products - we get a 45 wash box of laundry powder for less than  5 quid at h@me b@rgains.  And because it’s powder I find I can use alot less so a box lasts me about 90 washes

warby68

Try and keep focussed Foxy, on what you want and need for the long term.

There will be a lot of effort made to make you miserable enough to give in as you have so far.

Please remember you are doing nothing wrong in expecting fairness.