Diary of a 30-something idiot

Debsnewbudget

I think you could feel guilty because it wasn't a planned purchase.  
If you had the money and had budgeted for a coat then yes, that's OK.
This sort of impulse buying behaviour is what will keep you from getting debt free.
You need to stop impulse buying. Walk away from the purchase and then if 3/5/7 days later you have worked out it's affordable then go back and buy it. But make sure you have returned stuff and got the money back, and also actually listed stuff on vinted.
Having said that, you have scrimped by on so little for so long it's no wonder you want a new coat !!
Hugs
You will get there

stymied

Would a month without takeaways balance out the coat? I’m guessing the pub trip came to £30 aka a third of a coat? Although if it yields a job you can count it as an investment.

When is the next course?

Naomim

Sorry, I'm going to disagree with others here. It's a coat, a needed item in winter. A good coat will normally last more than one winter so will be "worth" the purchase. Seems like people want you in sack cloth and ashes. 🤷‍♀️

Debsnewbudget

Just watched a Caleb Hammer video - interesting.
the one I like as well is the Canadian woman presenting Till Debt us do part, very straight talking. 

curly_moose

De-lurking to say I agree about keeping the coat. You need a coat and £90 isn’t ridiculous. Super cheap clothes are almost never not a false economy. BUT the money needs to come from somewhere, so where’s it coming from? I’d suggest your partner owes you many coats over at this point and his new employment opportunity will cover it. Failing that, when I have an unplanned spend, I count it as a debt to myself and might reduce what I allocate to other ‘fun’ categories in my budget until I’ve paid myself back. 

OtterSaves

I have been binging Caleb Hammer as well! I think its subconsciously working as I can hear him saying "why would we buy thing we don't need when we are in overdraft?!?" in his funny voice. 
I am really rooting for you, Fox and I hope this job comes through for Mr. Fox. What do you think Caleb would say about that situation? 
I also agree that because you are so pressed, its difficult to make decisions about little things constantly. I beat myself up because I get uptight about zero spending on food bills and then go on a night out that means I have to get an uber back by myself. When you are out of debt these choice will be les fraught I hope. 

foxandflowers

You guys ever read or watch the Diary of a Shopaholic (it is sooo cheesy but my ultimate comfort movie, along with Devil Wears Prada)? Where she decides she's going to be the girl with the green scarf? Well apparently I am going to be the fox with the red coat... I left the tags on for two days, but I wore it with the tags on to walk the dog last night when it was rainy, and to do the school run, and it was perfect (actually almost too warm).

So I'm keeping it. Don't shout at me. 

BUT, the following rules apply. I am going to ban myself from clothes shopping until at least the new year. I have to return all the outstanding returns in the house listed here so I can keep track:

• picture frame,
• primark clothes,
• tk maxx returns,
• hair bobbles that were the wrong blue for little one's uniform,
• Mr Fox clothes that didn't fit x2 packages. 
• potentially the mushroom dress, as I'm not sure it works for me - to be revisited this weekend.

I promise I was going to do vinted things but I don't even know where they all are at the moment. And there's nowhere to unpack them, because the rails for them are in use in the bedroom until the new carpet arrives, and every room in the upstairs of the house is CHAOS because the carpet fitters are coming tomorrow and my bedroom furniture was delivered yesterday so its in flatpack boxes in the hallway, and theres still two giant recliners stacked on top of each other in my daughter's bedroom because they aren't selling on marketplace, and I can't put them in the garage until the skip is picked up (today??? I hope). I am feeling very overwhelmed.

And feeling overwhelmed is making me snippy. Last night Mr Fox mentioned that he was going to quit smoking/start dieting on Monday and I asked him why it mattered if he waited until Monday, as it wasn't exactly the start of his working week.... He didn't take kindly to that comment. But part of me is like... well it's true? You could say "Oh I'll do it Monday" or "Oh, I'll do it on the 1st of the month" for the next five years and never change a thing. I'm not sure I want to wait another seven years for things to be different. I spend a lot of my working day sorting things out for people who are in their final years, and I don't want to get to 75+ and still be in debt, still have to work, still be supporting my husband. I want to be in a partnership, not someone else's mum. 

lucielle

Good for you Fox. Any news on the potential job?  I’m sure Christmas ones will be advertised soon. 

L

foxandflowers

@lucielle he hasn't mentioned it so far this week. hence why I'm getting snippy. because I sort of got my hopes up, and I have a feeling I'm going to be disappointed.

vampirotoothus

Fox - your last paragraph HOORAY. You've got this. It will now start to get better V x