Diary of a 30-something idiot

JillyC8

How do you maintain any respect for him? If he’s as bad as you say he is then you’re better off without him. What a nightmare.

jokono

I only realised recently I never get angry either. I'm still working on it 😀

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMt0K-AbpCU&ab_channel=TED

Only 10 minutes long. My favourite quote here:
Severing anger from femininity is severing girls and women from the emotion that best protects us from injustice.

Humdinger1

Clears throat.. excuse me but shouldn't the idiot in the title of your diary be updated to read something like on behalf of an idiot.  I promise you, your value is not measured in the opinion of your husband.  Remind me, how old are his children and do they live with you full-time? Love Humdinger xx 

foxandflowers

@jokono thanks for the interesting video. 
@Humdinger1 we are probably both idiots. I'm very aware my self worth is pitiable. His children don't live with us full time (although the eldest is due to move in full time with us again); they are 18,17,14,12,5. The 18 year old lived with us from 16-18, and only moved out last year. The 17 year old lived with us for six months before his baby was born. The 14 & 12 are with us most weekends, and I don't see the 5 year old. My daughter is 8. 

On lunch I went to B&M and spent £30, on laundry pods, dishwasher pods, cleaning supplies, snacks, and comfort food in the form of cockles and ready salted crisps (really weird, but very tasty). I then went downstairs at work and paid the council tax. That was not fun. £600 has left my account in the last 48 hours, and £540 of that was on bills. 

slm6002

You need to look after you and your little girl.  He is old enough to sort himself out.  I would do your washing and your cooking etc.  My XH was exactly the same other than I got a minimal amount of wages paid over to me (While he kept a big chunk for himself, even though we were struggling).  It took a while but I have realised that I am so much better off without him, and as I was running the whole house, the money, looking after the children all by myself, working, really what was he there for?

How are the house viewings going? 

jokono

Dare I ask? Is the 18yo working and is going to contribute to the household or are you going to keep two grown ups? You need to look after your daughter and yourself. You body is signalling it can't go on like this, with the eye infection and the uti and your mood being so low. What will it take?

Humdinger1

Not beating you up about your self-esteem @foxandflowers but you are seeing I think that you do deserve more, no? Merciful Gods, the man is so entitled.   I don't suppose you've talked to any of his exes? They may have a story worth the hearing love Humdinger xx 

jak

You are doing brilliantly at keeping things going. I agree with all the husband comments and also want to say that my ex-husband was utterly useless. I kept him for 3 years before ending things. It was the best thing I ever did. I now own my own house and he is living in a house share at 40, feeling sorry for himself. You deserve better and even if you don't realise it yet yourself, we are all here cheering you on and hoping you are able to make changes so life is better for you and your little one. 
xxx

Valli

I dip in and out of these diaries and rarely comment - but F&F I am worried about you. 

If he can't bring in the cash then he should be doing the bulk of the housework. 

As Jilly says - how do you have any respect for him?

stymied

Hi! You’re doing great keeping everything going / afloat.

Did you find out if there was a spare tyre in the boot? Can you set husband the task of finding out about temporary fixes to the handbrake to get the car as far as the garage?