Feels like im going under!

elsien

Swings and roundabouts - it's a long hard slog sometimes and there will always be times when you just want to throw it all up in the air and say sod it.
I think it's about working out how you get through and past those troughs because they will come.
I agree that your son should be contributing when he stays over, even if its just to buy some extra food. 
Are you able to sit down at times with your wife to check the budget and how it's going. I know she's not been the easiest to get on board, to put it mildly, but it may be that you are presuming there's going to be a huge holiday row come January when that may not be the case. She may already know deep down that it won't be happening, but going through the finances before that will help to reinforce that as you go along. 
However if this helps: 
National Trust Discount Codes July 2023 - MoneySavingExpert
Sun out, picnic, football - free day out and some quality family time. 
Kids do get bored. That's not always a bad thing - it can prompt them to use their initiative to get on and find something to do. At the risk of sounding like an old ****, did you have kids clubs and activities when you were younger, because we didn't. 
Remind me again how old they are - can they do jobs locally for a bit of pocket money? I pay next doors 12 year old to water my garden when I'm away. for example. Gives him something to do, and he gets paid even if it rains and it isn't needed.

Makingabobor2

Good point @elsien, we never had kids clubs when we were young, even my children didn't.

linz

Geocaching is a fun free activity your kids and their friends may find fun too..

NiteEyez1980

Hi guys 

It's only there football club

2 of the 4  are really good and getirng looked at for academy's. Football is there love and it's great exercise for them as well. I don't think I could live with myself if I had to stop that. 

My wife is back to being erratic, I think it's meonpause as she is having hot flushes and is roasting even in cold weather and her emotions are up and down brutally. 

I have told her she needs to see a doctor as its back to living with jekyll and hide

ladyholly

First of all good for your wife in working more. Yes she definately needs to see a doctor if she has menopause symptoms in the meantime there are some supplements that may (or may not help). It might be worth researching them.Hot flushes and mood swings are horrible to deal with both from her point of view and yours.

In regard to your feelings of failure as others have said dont try to compare your life to theirs as you dont know what is going on in their lives that you know nothing about. If anyone asks play ther climate change card and teell them that you feel travelling is not environmentally responsible or similar. I sure you can word it better. Everyone has up and down times and if you are depressed to start with it makes it harder. Just remeber you are doing the right thing for your family even if they dont see it.

stymied

Ask the club if you can pay in instalments, or if there’s any way they could see to waive it especially for the 2 that are really good - they will be aware that £75 is a lot to find in one go.

NiteEyez1980

Hi ya, 

Club has let us pay in installment👍

Now the real fun. My stepson has split up with his Gf and it has turned into a nasty breakup. 

He is sofa surfing, and to be honest !!!!!! it up every night.

Now unbeknown to me, he had a flat tyre and hadn't paid the girl his money die for kids.  My wife, panicked that he will lose his job and also the girl will move back to London with the grandkids fronted the money to him for the tyre and chisk payment....... From the joint account!!!!!

I only found out as a bill (council tax) bounced. Apparently he swore he'd pay her back payday but didnt/hasnt and has siad he can't afford to except a few quid a week

...... Whilst !!!!!! it up every night!!!!

I am livid as its basically ruined our August now!!!!

Massive argument ensued as I've said not our responsibility. He's 25, the kids weren't an accident, he chose them and we did warn him of the consequences of his actions and fatherhood. 

I've told my wife that now he's been a dad for 3 years and decided its not for him, that we aren't taking the kids on or financing his lifestyle!! 

I do genuinely wish I'd never met my wife. 

I brought her kids up and paid everything for them, as their bio father never paid a penny

Paid my wifes (when she was my Gf) housing debt (2k) accrued by her and her ex

Now I'm being financially ruined by them, and grandkids who aren't mine (taht sounds awful doesn't it)!!! 

All this and I'm still the 'bad guy'???? 

I know what's coming, she'll say "we will have them". He will f off to live a bachelor 20s life, she will go back to London  and I will be left trying to pay for 2 step babies on top of my own 4 at home. 

I can't afford it, and won't do it!!!!

It's a horrible situation to be in

Sorry for rant however it's literally the only outlet I have at times. 

Kantankrus_Mare

What an awful situation for you. Not sure what the answer is but didnt want to just read and not comment. Life seems like an uphill struggle for you and you should keep coming here and ranting as much as you need to. 

stymied

I feel for you, I really do! Take the few quid and keep taking it - he’s trying it on for you to write off the debt.

Probably not much reassurance but I found this:

Are grandparents entitled to child support?

Usually the parent without day-to-day care of a child pays this to the child's main carer. A main carer can be the other parent, a grandparent (kinship carer) or a guardian. If you are a kinship carer, you may be able to get child maintenance from both your grandchild's parents.

Do you have a plan for getting back on top of the council tax?

Makingabobor2

Oh my word. I really don't know what the answer is now,  TBH, I don't know how you've put up with your wife for this long. Just hope someone else might come along with some good advice.