Moving on with things

alt80

April 24

Card Balances

CC1 ………………….........................................……….£12,115 (0% for 14 months)

CC2 ………………………..........................................….£0 (Cleared)

CC3…………………………............................................£0 (Day-to-day card, not overspent, so no balance accrued)

CC4 ………………………….......................................... £0 (Bye!)

Total Card Balance…………..........................................£12,115 

Total Reduction in April including wife's sale at £650….£2,375

Bit heavier month on the spending (planned as we did get away for a few days and it was my wife's birthday), so the sale did make up for things. Determined to see it under £10k this coming month and so long as we keep on doing what we're doing I'll be (credit card) debt free in November. My birthday month ha, if I manage it, it'll be a massive birthday present to have this gone. 

alt80

lucielle said:

Looking forward to seeing the figures 
L

I must have put them up as you posted, ha!

lucielle

Brilliant, well done. 

alt80

Thank you! Feels like it's getting closer every month now (and easier - all the info is ready to go in my spreadsheet these days). 

Sun_Addict

I can’t believe the transformation in you. Just shows you can turn your life around. Well done 👏

alt80

@Sun_Addict thank you. I must have grown up after moving to the big boy's Park lol - that will make no !!!!!! sense whatsoever to anyone else ha. Seriously, I'm putting the work in every single day. I know that there will be more bad ones to come because that's life. Unfortunately, I don't know how I will handle those but I can give myself the best chance possible. A tough conversation with the pros a couple of weeks back really made me think, he asked me what I think I'd do if something happened to my wife. Since she got support herself she's propped me up through everything these past few years and I know she should have walked away from me but it means everything to me that she didn't. I thought I couldn't live without her, still don't think I could really but we talked through my answer and I thought about my boy, he needs me as well as his mum.

katsu

I'm so pleased you saw the man in coke and were brave enough to talk about how you behaved, as well as looking at him and feeling dismay.

Your posts are a delight and show the transformation that MSE takes us through as DFWs.

Martin's communications, info and the confidence he gave me helped me transform myself financially. The community helps you put this into practice and to change in ways to want to, and some ways you didn't imagine at the beginning. 

It's hard to describe how the mix of accountability and feedback changes us, but we all see it in each other and in time see it in ourselves.

alt80

@katsu its horrible stuff and I genuinely wish it had never been a part of my or my family's life. I didn't realise I was anywhere close to being that bad socially. Tbf, had it not gone beyond a social thing for me, I don't even think I would have stopped it idk. I accepted quite some time ago how bad it was other than socially - if anything I thought quitting it had destroyed any hope of a social life. I brought that on myself thinking I couldn't enjoy going out socially without it but had acknowledged I can't ever touch it again. My wife said she used to dread going out with how I was. Don't blame her and I'm really grateful that we can spend time together now, had a bit of a lightbulb moment tbh.

Thank you, 100% understand where you're coming from. I've found MSE good for me; I couldn't apply any sense to my personal finances before and it wasn't through a lack of understanding. A lot of my problems were related to addiction tbf but the "tough love" on here has certainly made me think (eventually ha) and also think about the type of future I want my family to enjoy. I'm not in a bad position (something I could barely accept for a long time - I'd ignore any stats etc. just felt !!!!!! broke and needed more), I was just a !!!!!! idiot with money fuelled to the next !!!!!! level sometimes idk. 

enthusiasticsaver

Great update on the cards and so close to the £10k mark now and the final countdown.  Glad you can also see that the substance abuse was affecting everything around you to how  you viewed and treated others including your family and the affect it had on your health and finances. It sounds like your wife has been on quite a journey too. 

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver yeah, not wishing my life away - got the summer to enjoy first ha but it will be mind-blowing to not have a balance on a card and to have not refinanced a load of property to be in that position either. Look forward to it 100% and start to deal with building an emergency fund and really working towards being in a better position equity wise with my property / home etc. Actually believe I can get there with time, patience and sticking to the plan. 

I do massively regret the past but if I never move on, I will never get any better and my family will continue to suffer. I'm putting into practice living with less stress and more time for my family. Business ticks along nicely. Bit pathetic at my age I know but it's what I needed to do, maybe one day I'll be ready to go again idk but I'm not putting myself under pressure.

The therapy did my wife the world of good. She was convinced she !!!!!! up settling for me which I get tbf ha and felt it was too late for her to fulfil her own life ambition but decided she wanted to make a go of our marriage anyway as did I, we've worked on it since.