Moving on with things

Iamouttheotherside

@alt80
Good morning Alt, half term is here,  with a 4 day break which I sincerely hope you are going to take some time off.

I did not take any offence with regards to your comment about part time - I am a lot more thick skinned than that.  I just wanted to show you, you can make it work it takes a lot of juggling but you can have quality family time too.

I want to flick something for you, you say you are worried about leaving home for a few days, what is the worse that is going to happen?  You are with your wife and son, you have your own bubble as security, they are there with you, what will trigger you realistically?

So how about this....

What if you went and actually had a GOOD time?

As I keep repeating and everyone on here, you need to have something to look forward to.

Vienna is definitely one you and your wife need to do together, she will love the Opera side, make a plan to do it together, just the two of you.  Also as the others have said, you need a holiday or 2 just the 3 of you.

Go to the house warming party - duck em!  You can drive no need to drink, honestly they are causing themselves the problem, I also don't think its a good idea for you to be on your own while the party is happening, too many thoughts and paranoia will be swirling around your head, there has to be a "first" time you face them, the longer you leave it the worse it gets.   Your wife will support you I know she will.

Have a fantastic week, challenge yourself for this week -  laptop switch off 6pm Thursday. Our office is closing at 12noon on Thursday, much to everyones delight, getting even more part time now 

alt80

Had a busy few days, trying to make sure I am where I want to be with things before the end of tomorrow to be able to spend the whole bank holiday weekend with my little family. My sister and family are coming up here for Sunday lunch. Struggling a bit with not being able to switch off from work / sleeping well and other thoughts but I am getting through, switching the computer off, having dinner with my family and getting to the gym. This time last year I was in a bad way, thankful to be where I am with things today despite some things still being difficult although I think at least the weather was better last year. I really !!!!!! hope the summer will be better after we've put up with this the whole year. 

@RelievedSheff I hope you're right, we've never really got on but when they found out I hadn't managed to sort myself out things between us really broke down. I've promised my wife we are going to pick somewhere to go just the three of us this weekend as well as book a couple of localish spa breaks. Currently have a list of Barcelona, Rome, Paris (and Disneyland fml), Bruges, Vienna and Reykjavik. Wherever we decide to go, we'll probably go to one of the others next time around. We are staying in Athens for 3 days in May as well as visiting my parents - my son has been before but he was so young he doesn't remember it.

@enthusiasticsaver absolutely know where you're coming from, pre-Covid we used to go on holiday just the three of us. My in-laws used to take my wife and son to Centre Parcs and I didn't go so the whole family holidays are a relatively recent thing for us.

alt80

@Iamouttheotherside good evening! You'll be pleased to hear I am going to leave my laptop at the office when I log off tomorrow evening, 5pm. Have my phone if I'm really needed which tbf I won't be and promised I'm only going to check emails twice a day.

I thought you would be a bit more thick skinned than that tbf I would like to have that kind of balance when I'm thinking with the right kind of mindset. Used to think if I didn't have my family but had my business intact and my home I'd be ok with that, !!!!!! awful mindset I know but now idk would just all a bit meaningless without those I love. I do struggle with the idea of them wanting to spend time with me still though.

Regarding being away from home it is something I am trying to work towards getting into a better place with. I think it does hark back to my addiction and basically spending every family holiday for years prior to Covid on a bender for a couple of days before we went away and spending the holiday feeling absolutely !!!!!! terrible as well as anxiety about being away from work / not deserving of the time off etc. Now left with having therapy to try to deal with taking my family on holiday. I know. At one point it pretty much crossed into agoraphobia, having panic attacks driving etc for a while prior to my second rehab my wife drove me around when needed, most people thought I'd been banned from driving and I wouldn't walk further than these two tennis courts we live near at my worst. !!!!!! horrendous looking back at how bad I let things get not fully there with that either but am getting a lot better. Lot of it was all the stuff I was doing, fighting it all the way now; I'd really like to be able to look forward to holidays etc in the future.

I think my wife would really like to go to Vienna, did have a think that it's something we could possibly do when our boy goes on a school trip.

I know where you're coming from re the housewarming tbf and I know my wife will support me too.

Have a lovely bank holiday weekend.

lucielle

I hope you manage to book a holiday and enjoy the Easter break. 

L

enthusiasticsaver

All of those places sound good for a short break. We have never been to Vienna or Reykjavik but done the rest you mention. They all have their various attractions. I would lean towards somewhere warm after the depressing rainy March we have had this year. I have only done about four coastal walks this year so far due to the mud up there at the moment so longing for some dry weather. That is way less than usual. 

RelievedSheff

I hope you do manage to have some down time and spend it with your family. You deserve it.

The weather isn't great so far this year, but have you noticed just how green and lush it has made everything look this spring?

Looking forward to hearing where you choose to go for your family mini break.

warby68

Well done for pushing on with the holiday planning despite your fears.

The more you do the easier it will become.

FWIW husband is a workaholic and finds being away rather than at home easier in terms of switching off from work.

Iamouttheotherside

@alt80
Quick sign off as already 45 minutes late for signing off, nearly full time at this rate!

But 5pm laptop off on a Thursday?

Who are you and what have you done with alt? 

Have a great weekend

joeyjimbles

In terms of fun and a mix of beach and cultural stuff, Barcelona seems to me to be the perfect choice. Lots of museums and history, but it's not stuffy, there's the beach, football, and good food and sunshine - we took our boys from the age of 5 onwards and they still love to go back with friends and partners (eldest is now 24)

NeverendingDMP

Hope you have had a good weekend and enjoyed your sign off from the emails!