COVID cancel plans with friends

sim2335

I like video games, documentaries on Netflix.

Perfect day would be driven to a theme park or water park, spend day there meet friends in eveing.

I like football but I’m no good, so can’t find anywhere in my city that caters for that.

I been to a bored games club but would not go regularly 

I feel I get nervours around girls I want to know more, that stops me beign myself how can I stop this.

There was a girl in a Meetup group I wanted to know more but just couldn’t really create conversation, is it worth adding her on Facebook, as I’m not gona see her again, she may or may not rember me 

Sea_Shell

How old are you?

I'm sure you've said, but I can't remember.

sim2335

35 years old

Sea_Shell

Are you hoping to meet someone near your own age?

So not "girls", but women.  Who by that age are probably independent already, if single, and want an "equal" as a partner.

The fact that you still live at home at 35 could put some off.

It sounds like you'd like to meet someone who you share interests with and life experiences, and be "on the same page" as it were. so they themselves may also be shy and living at home, so won't be "out there" for you to meet.


Classic catch 22

74jax

sim2335 said:

I like video games, documentaries on Netflix.

What about joining a film club, or book club? 

Perfect day would be driven to a theme park or water park, spend day there meet friends in eveing.

What about joining something 'adventure' related? Rock climbing, scuba diving, learn to surf? 

What would you do with friends on an evening though ideally? 

I like football but I’m no good, so can’t find anywhere in my city that caters for that.

Are you sure? You don't have any football clubs? Football clubs are not for just those who are good, a club has different levels of learning, not everyone is the automatically the same standard to join. 

I been to a bored games club but would not go regularly 

Is there a reason? 

I feel I get nervours around girls I want to know more, that stops me beign myself how can I stop this.

There was a girl in a Meetup group I wanted to know more but just couldn’t really create conversation, is it worth adding her on Facebook, as I’m not gona see her again, she may or may not rember me 

Why would you invite someone to your Facebook you don't know? Do you have many on your Facebook you aren't friends with? Why not go through your friends list, delete those you don't know, and each day message 2 genuine friends from your friends list saying you haven't been in touch for a while and you are just catching up, how are they, are they still doing xyz etc. 

Ditzy_Mitzy

sim2335 said:

I like video games, documentaries on Netflix.

Perfect day would be driven to a theme park or water park, spend day there meet friends in eveing.

I like football but I’m no good, so can’t find anywhere in my city that caters for that.

I been to a bored games club but would not go regularly 

I feel I get nervours around girls I want to know more, that stops me beign myself how can I stop this.

There was a girl in a Meetup group I wanted to know more but just couldn’t really create conversation, is it worth adding her on Facebook, as I’m not gona see her again, she may or may not rember me 

Freudian slip?  Sometimes you have to do things you don't like in order to be able to do things that you do like.  I was horribly shy at one point, had no friends and didn't get invited to parties.  It was a sad situation something needed to be done about it.  I took it upon myself to watch the television programmes that others at school would talk about, to find out what they were interested in and involve myself in it.  I taught myself to start conversations with others and the value of asking open questions when all else fails.  

It worked.  I started getting invited to parties and going out; I drank too much and started smoking and bought fashionable clothes and make-up and had my hair done properly and, all of a sudden, I had gone from friendless to almost popular.  It was a tremendously useful thing to have done, in the social sense.  I learnt how to make friends, to approach someone with confidence, how to dress to fit social context and to project an image.  Doors then opened.  

There's a fixation these days, among modern amateur psychologists especially, with the notion of the 'authentic self'.  Perhaps this rather nebulous thing exists within the psyche somewhere (I don't believe it does), but becoming a slave to it can become destructive to one as a social being.  Authenticity seems linked to superficial factors such as manner of dress, hairstyle, hobbies and the like rather than fundamentals of personality.  Those don't change, not really, but the superficial stuff does.  In fact, it is sometimes necessary to alter that in order to fit in or, God forbid, be interesting to others.  You have to be, it's all give and take.  Have fun!  Talk about what you don't want to talk about, talk about what you find boring; you'll soon find yourself taking an interest.  

strawb_shortcake

I used to be quite shy and found it difficult to initiate conversations with strangers.

I fell or rather was pushed into volunteering, it was a huge step out golf my comfort zone and forced me to take on leadership activities. I know develop others and myself and have gained many transferable skills which have had huge benefits in my career. 

Take a step out of your comfort zone, take a risk. Enjoy a wide range of little things rather than fixating on one thing. 

Having meeting a wife at top of your to do list is usually the sure fire way not to meet a woman. When you can find happiness and contentment then a relationship will be far easier 

powerful_Rogue

Could always apply for the following:

 

First Dates

Naked Attraction

Married at First Sight

The Undateables

Sea_Shell

@sim2335

I've got an idea....

Why don't you post on other threads and get involved in the conversations, both here and on the other boards.

You only ever seem to post on your own threads.

It might get you used to chatting with people (generally) and sharing ideas and thoughts etc.

Just an idea.   Have a read through some threads and see if there is anything you feel you can add to the myriad of topics swirling around.

Keeping them on topic of course!! 😉

Sea_Shell

@sim2335

Let's have a practice...

What are your thoughts on...

The energy/cost of living crisis.  How is it effecting your household?  Have your parents upped your keep?

Interest rates.  How is this effecting your saving for your own place and potential for affording a mortgage?

Have you been watching the Commonwealth games?  Or the football?

Seen any good films recently?   Any good TV shows?



Then ask us some "small talk" questions too.