COVID cancel plans with friends

74jax

I stated looking at stopping working when I was in my early 30s. At 45 (2 years ago) during the pandemic, I stopped working and doing other things as I could afford too (started volunteering etc).

Now is the time plan, not in your 50s with just 10 years left. 

Pollycat

Sea_Shell said:

It's NEVER too early to get to grips with your pensions.

They'll probably think it's quite refreshing that someone so young is already taking an interest in what's what....rather than getting to 50 and realising they are falling short.

74jax said:

I stated looking at stopping working when I was in my early 30s. At 45 (2 years ago) during the pandemic, I stopped working and doing other things as I could afford too (started volunteering etc).

Now is the time plan, not in your 50s with just 10 years left. 

+1 to these posts.

I was lucky that when I started work just over 50 years ago, I was enrolled in a very good pension scheme working for a public corporation that until a year earlier had been part of the Civil Service.

And the bonus was that I actually worked in the pensions department so I could see what pension benefits some people were getting (at 40 years service a pension of half salary and a lump sum of 3 x pension). 
From a very early age - much earlier than 74jax, my plan was to finish work at age 50.
I managed it.

Of course, things are very different now with very few final salary pension schemes but I would have hated to work until I was 65 and then have to live off the state pension.

Sncjw

Never too early to think about pensions. We were talking about them at work the other day..someone older than me was surprised about some stuff she didn't know about. 

Also when we get to pension age there might not be a state pensions around.  

I find pensions difficult to understand but I know the nhs is the best one around. 

Your making good efforts to make conversations well done. 

I wouldn't do professional pictures. Be yourself. 

sim2335

Posted in pensions forum, not sure who has best pensions but I know working in a bank does, also find pensions difficult to understand.

What do you do when it’s hot to past time.

Humans were made to work soclise etc, so why evonloutiary do we get so tired ill etc, this doesn’t help at all.

Scientifically money doesn’t buy happens it’s a proven fact.

But does my example not prove it wrong, you get married, you have lots of money so can go on a 5 star honeymoon and when back not stress about bills doing overtime etc, we’re if you poor you lucky to  even afford a honeymoon, stress about bills etc

It’s obvious first example is happier same people hence money buys happiness.

Even my own example I have no debt, other then student loan when I did have debt I was more stressed and unhappy, god knows how happy I would be if I was rich.

In regards to posted on other bored don’t really have anything to add, I would on general discussion but they removers that.

NBLondon

sim2335 said:

Scientifically money doesn’t buy happens it’s a proven fact.

But does my example not prove it wrong, you get married, you have lots of money so can go on a 5 star honeymoon and when back not stress about bills doing overtime etc, we’re if you poor you lucky to  even afford a honeymoon, stress about bills etc

Different people have different definitions of happiness.

Some would rather be poor and in a great relationship over rich and single.  Others value the material position more highly.

What (enough or lots of) money does buy you is freedom from stress - and that's a precursor to happiness.

MovingForwards

If the questions you are posting on here are the way you are trying to start new friendships, I can see why you struggle. They're quite intense for strangers and I would recommend toning them down:

What kind of things do you like to watch on TV?
- then if they mention something you've seen, ask them what they thought about it.

Asking what someone does for a job potentially makes people not working feel uncomfortable. 

Ask people what they get up to in the evenings or weekends.

Ask if they have a pet, which country they would like to visit, where in the UK they would like to go as there's some nice places.

It's even ok to say I've not had a holiday in ages and am looking forward to going to (wherever you're going), or I've not had time off in a while, booked a few days off just to do nothing but catch up on rest, read a book, a series you've been waiting to be released, a film at the cinema etc.

Money discussions are really a thing for ages, until you do get to know someone and you take the lead from them eg if they pass comment about the price of food, utilities etc increasing. Even in those instances it's a sympathetic understanding and general 'yes, everything seems to be going up on a daily basis'.

Don't do a double question as that comes across like you're interviewing them.

Most of all learn to read expressions and body language, it's easy to tell when the conversation is making someone feel uncomfortable. At that point you're at risk of them making excuses or being blunt just to get away. There's videos on YouTube.

Have you looked into night school and adult education yet? 

sim2335

MovingForwards - face to face I wouldn never ask questions like this to strangers.

The ones in posted here is because I’m anonymous and it’s out of curiosity.

Night school and adult education doing what.

MovingForwards

Learning new things and improving existing skills / knowledge are the common reasons people attend, with the added benefit of meeting new people with the same aim.

Sea_Shell

@sim2335

I saw this quote today, and thought of you...

"Happiness is seldom found by those who seek it and never by those who seek it for themselves" - Frank Emerson

sim2335

sim2335 said:

This is other friend just had a argument (not one I had to cancel plans with), so before I told him, that I’m not meeting anyone till October, as want to stay wel before hoilday just had Covid.

Then phone him week later, and he was like how we gona see a escort, I was like I can’t.

Then his like what you doing girl wise, the. I said I’m going to a singles event, as afterwards I decide to make a expexction, as that’s very important to me, meeting someone.

Then he’s like you first you said you not and now you are you lied to me.

Then I’m like you been talking about seeing escort for years, which he has and he’s like don’t turn it around on me, you never want to go, and there was Covid before.

Escort thing he keeps mentiong not me.

Towards end he’s like All I want is for you be honest.

I’m not asking you to be honest I demand it.

Then I was like if I told you before, you would have persuaded me to meet you, he’s like yeah so, better then being dishonest.

Then said why didn’t you just say I’m doing this I would have been cool.

I go fine then I will, today when I speak to him I rember he’s lying about having a job, so I will tel him I need same from him if that’s what he expect a from me.

Just a update since this argument this friend has been ignoring me.

I left voicemail, sent him email too still no response 

for me it seems a huge relief., but would still possibly be friends with him cos I hate being alone a, and enjoy his company

wonder why he is all of a sudden we been friends for over 10 years, I know this might sound crazy wondering if he’s planning revange.

It upset him that much that I couldn’t meet and meeting others, or I lied or I confronted him about escort.