COVID cancel plans with friends

Pollycat

sim2335 said:

sim2335 said:

This is other friend just had a argument (not one I had to cancel plans with), so before I told him, that I’m not meeting anyone till October, as want to stay wel before hoilday just had Covid.

Then phone him week later, and he was like how we gona see a escort, I was like I can’t.

Then his like what you doing girl wise, the. I said I’m going to a singles event, as afterwards I decide to make a expexction, as that’s very important to me, meeting someone.

Then he’s like you first you said you not and now you are you lied to me.

Then I’m like you been talking about seeing escort for years, which he has and he’s like don’t turn it around on me, you never want to go, and there was Covid before.

Escort thing he keeps mentiong not me.

Towards end he’s like All I want is for you be honest.

I’m not asking you to be honest I demand it.

Then I was like if I told you before, you would have persuaded me to meet you, he’s like yeah so, better then being dishonest.

Then said why didn’t you just say I’m doing this I would have been cool.

I go fine then I will, today when I speak to him I rember he’s lying about having a job, so I will tel him I need same from him if that’s what he expect a from me.

Just a update since this argument this friend has been ignoring me.

I left voicemail, sent him email too still no response 

for me it seems a huge relief., but would still possibly be friends with him cos I hate being alone a, and enjoy his company

wonder why he is all of a sudden we been friends for over 10 years, I know this might sound crazy wondering if he’s planning revange.

It upset him that much that I couldn’t meet and meeting others, or I lied or I confronted him about escort.

TBH, Sim, it really does sound crazy.
Unless you live in a world far removed from the one I inhabit.

You are 2 friends (not sure I'd call the relationship you have as friendship) who have had a spat.
It will either blow over or you'll not be in contact every again.

Why are you thinking he's planning revenge?
For what?
How?

You thought the guy you loaned money to might plan revenge.
Did that happen?

sim2335

The reason revange, because in past he’s said about revange to someone, who complained that he was approaching her worked in supermarket,for me to like compalin to their manager a lie they spat on me, I refused.

Then later on he said he thought about it and what’s point.

And lot of times, he use to say to me I don’t wast my time and energy, just move on, my time is valuable.

And we had much bigger arguments in past wonder what’s diffent now.

Why he’s ignoring.

Doesn’t mean I want him back though, just wonder why he doesn’t say it to me, I’ve says everything elese

No nothing happend with that and he even threatened me and countless times said about he’s gona get back and I will see etc still nothing.

Pollycat

sim2335 said:

The reason revange, because in past he’s said about revange to someone, who complained that he was approaching her worked in supermarket,for me to like compalin to their manager a lie they spat on me, I refused.

You don't need 'friends' like this in your life.
Nobody does.

Stop thinking about what he's thinking and why he's acting like he is.
Movie on.

Sea_Shell

The problem is Sim, is that no-one on an internet forum can really help you with your problems.

Friends, dating, driving etc etc.

We can all try and give friendly advice, but TBH it sounds like you need more help than we can ever give.

We can't help you to stop "feeling" how you feel about all this stuff.

It's fine to post to get things off your chest, but you do seem to struggle to take advice any on board, and put it into action.

Have you been seeing a therapist/counselor again recently.  Have you talked all this through with them? 

sim2335

Yes I have talked through this, with friend sort  just said you got your own goals etc concrate on them if he calls he calls.

with girl regreat didn’t really say much on that other then she may have asked for your number, he didn’t realise it was event where we ask for numbers.

sheramber

Just accept he does not want to be friend with you any longer,

Stop wondering why.

People move on and grow in different directions. 

He has gone his own way.  You need to go your own  way.

You cannot hang on to someone  who does not want to be there.

sim2335

sheramber said:

Just accept he does not want to be friend with you any longer,

Stop wondering why.

People move on and grow in different directions. 

He has gone his own way.  You need to go your own  way.

You cannot hang on to someone  who does not want to be there.

But has he gone his own way that’s the problem, we have been friends for 15 years and had much worse arguments in past.

longest he has ever ignore me in a row is 3 months, this was random, but reason for that was to “help me” as I was asking him for advice on a crush, and then he said so you can learn when I’m not here.

Or a trashed may have happend and I could be least fo his worries

anwyay let’s see if he comes back 

Pollycat

sim2335 said:

sheramber said:

Just accept he does not want to be friend with you any longer,

Stop wondering why.

People move on and grow in different directions. 

He has gone his own way.  You need to go your own  way.

You cannot hang on to someone  who does not want to be there.

But has he gone his own way that’s the problem, we have been friends for 15 years and had much worse arguments in past.

longest he has ever ignore me in a row is 3 months, this was random, but reason for that was to “help me” as I was asking him for advice on a crush, and then he said so you can learn when I’m not here.

Or a trashed may have happend and I could be least fo his worries

anwyay let’s see if he comes back 

It's not the problem.
It's the problem you are creating in your head.
He will either get in touch or he won't.

sheramber

he has gone his own way at present.

Whether he will return, who knows. There is no point on second guessing what he might be thinking.

Move on.

sim2335

It’s not as easy as it sounds, this a friend I’ve been friends with for 16 years, and spent whole days with him and countless hours on phone and told all good and bad things.

Then all of a sudden he just disappears.

And I don’t really have any other close friends.

This doesn’t mean I won’t move on but it’s just strange why he didn’t say I’d Tom want to be firmed did tahts the case

I’ve had friends in past that stop contacting me., that’s fine I just leave it.