COVID cancel plans with friends

NBLondon

sim2335 said:

if you have no friends you can’t get a girlfriend,

This is a very limiting attitude.   As others have said - find a group or hobby and make new acquaintances who could become friends.   Some of them might even be girls who are friends - which is not the same thing as a girlfriend - though they could later become one.

The things you say you are interested in are traditionally male-oriented (sports for a start) so you may need to leap out of your comfort zone.  

Here's an off the wall idea.  Look for a local amateur dramatic group.  You don't need to be a performer; you could learn about backstage stuff or lighting or just show willing to paint sets, move props etc.    Most are short of men so they will ask you about taking on even small parts.  There will be more females to meet (not necessarily single but you can still work on being friends with women or they may introduce you to single friends of theirs - Don't Ask about this - just let it happen).

If you do have a go at acting - you may find that submersing yourself in a role helps with self-confidence.

sim2335

NBlondon - so I just google local amateur dramatic group (my city)

and Just ask do you have any backstage roles.

What’s best way to just hall to girls there, I feel I get nervours around girls I want to know more and that stops me beign myself 

the only thing I go to is Hare Krishna at momment.

Sea_Shell

sim2335 said:

NBlondon - so I just google local amateur dramatic group (my city)

and Just ask do you have any backstage roles.

What’s best way to just hall to girls there, I feel I get nervours around girls I want to know more and that stops me beign myself 

the only thing I go to is Hare Krishna at momment.

If the Am Dram group is local to you, and you know where/when they meet, just drop in one evening to say hi.

If after that you think it's something that you genuinely might be interested in THEN you can look to join in.

Don't treat it like a place to "pick up girls", and don't string them along only to find there are no single girls, and then stop going.

This is why you need to find something that interests YOU, and where you MIGHT meet someone.    Not the other way round.



What about a local running club.   Are you able to run?   Would you like to get fitter?   Could running be something you enjoy?

Our local club was full of couples who'd met at the club and later married, with a few affairs thrown in for good measure!!! - must be the hot and sweaty lycra that does it!! 

Ours have "taster" sessions that you can go along to, before having to join and pay membership (was only cheap subs), so your local ones might have too.


Although, these days, please do bear in mind that coming on too familiar with girls too quickly, could land you in hot water if it makes them feel uncomfortable.   Play it cool, and don't appear desperate....that will have them running for the hills (literally!)

74jax

sim2335 said:

NBlondon - so I just google local amateur dramatic group (my city)

and Just ask do you have any backstage roles.

What’s best way to just hall to girls there, I feel I get nervours around girls I want to know more and that stops me beign myself 

the only thing I go to is Hare Krishna at momment.

But are you interested in amateur dramatics? Take away the meeting girls and are you interested?  That is what we are all saying, FORGET about meeting girls and do what interests you. 

If you have no interest in amateur dramatics, then don't go to that club. If you do, great, go along, chat to everyone equally. 

Pollycat

sim2335 said:

NBlondon - so I just google local amateur dramatic group (my city)

and Just ask do you have any backstage roles.

What’s best way to just hall to girls there, I feel I get nervours around girls I want to know more and that stops me beign myself 

the only thing I go to is Hare Krishna at momment.

I'm not sure what this actually means but if you generally go round with the intention of finding a wife (you've mentioned this in other threads) you will just scare potential female friends who may turn into something more serious.
There's nothing worse than a person - male or female - who is desperate for a relationship.

MaryNB

Pollycat said:

sim2335 said:

NBlondon - so I just google local amateur dramatic group (my city)

and Just ask do you have any backstage roles.

What’s best way to just hall to girls there, I feel I get nervours around girls I want to know more and that stops me beign myself 

the only thing I go to is Hare Krishna at momment.

I'm not sure what this actually means but if you generally go round with the intention of finding a wife (you've mentioned this in other threads) you will just scare potential female friends who may turn into something more serious.
There's nothing worse than a person - male or female - who is desperate for a relationship.

I've been to different meetups a few times and you can sense these type of men a mile away. There was one group's event I went to where there were barely any women because after they went once they didn't go again because there were so many creeps (their events ended up with like a 10:1 male to female ratio). It's very off putting. It's not nice when you're trying to enjoy a hobby and you feel you have to have your back up, having to  worry that your words and actions being misinterpreted as something more than they are. 

Pollycat

74jax said:

sim2335 said:

NBlondon - so I just google local amateur dramatic group (my city)

and Just ask do you have any backstage roles.

What’s best way to just hall to girls there, I feel I get nervours around girls I want to know more and that stops me beign myself 

the only thing I go to is Hare Krishna at momment.

But are you interested in amateur dramatics? Take away the meeting girls and are you interested?  That is what we are all saying, FORGET about meeting girls and do what interests you. 

If you have no interest in amateur dramatics, then don't go to that club. If you do, great, go along, chat to everyone equally. 

Way up-thread, I suggested joining a group/class:

Pollycat said:

I know from past threads that you've tried online dating without success.
Do you do anything at all socially?
Have you considered an evening class? Cooking maybe? Join a rambling group?

Sea_Shell

Pollycat said:

74jax said:

sim2335 said:

NBlondon - so I just google local amateur dramatic group (my city)

and Just ask do you have any backstage roles.

What’s best way to just hall to girls there, I feel I get nervours around girls I want to know more and that stops me beign myself 

the only thing I go to is Hare Krishna at momment.

But are you interested in amateur dramatics? Take away the meeting girls and are you interested?  That is what we are all saying, FORGET about meeting girls and do what interests you. 

If you have no interest in amateur dramatics, then don't go to that club. If you do, great, go along, chat to everyone equally. 

Way up-thread, I suggested joining a group/class:

Pollycat said:

I know from past threads that you've tried online dating without success.
Do you do anything at all socially?
Have you considered an evening class? Cooking maybe? Join a rambling group?

Which Sim then latched onto as the place to go, when all you (whoever?) did was offer it as an example.


If you want somewhere young ladies hang out.... retrain as a nail technician!! 😉


Before you mock...the ex England rugby player Brian Moore did that...but not to pick up women (I don't think 😉)

sim2335

Not really intrested In acting, or running unfortunately.

I’m  looking for groups at momment that may intrest me the only one that has kept my intrest is Hare Krishna, where anyone can come, and diffent topics each week and about once a month we meet at a devotees house.

I say I’m single and looking that’s how I found out about Hare Krishna dating company, you don’t need to be high up or anything to join just show intrest I’m on waiting list.

74jax

sim2335 said:

Not really intrested In acting, or running unfortunately.

I’m  looking for groups at momment that may intrest me the only one that has kept my intrest is Hare Krishna, where anyone can come, and diffent topics each week and about once a month we meet at a devotees house.

I say I’m single and looking that’s how I found out about Hare Krishna dating company, you don’t need to be high up or anything to join just show intrest I’m on waiting list.

So don't join these groups just to find a lady, people will be there who actually want to be there. 

As Pollycat said, do you enjoy Cooking? Rambling?  By all means join a group you have an interest in, not to find a partner.

On an evening what do you do?
Watch TV? Do you have an interest in films? Could you join a film club?
Play games? Could you join a snooker club, chess club, football or domino's club? 
Listen to music? Could you join a music group, lean to play an instrument? 

What would your ideal Saturday be? For me it would be wake up, go for a swim in the sea, breakfast in the sun, walk the dog, lunch with family, shop with friends, cocktails, fabulous dinner, drinks outside..... What would your perfect Saturday be?